


This December

by juicytree21



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel
Genre: Angst, Blackouts, Car Accidents, Christmas Fluff, Depression, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Hanukkah, Jewish Character, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prostitution, Slow Burn, Smut, Swearing, Trans Character, house fire, proposal, stucky au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2018-09-13 20:31:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 62,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9141079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juicytree21/pseuds/juicytree21
Summary: Bucky Barnes has just returned to Brooklyn from two tours in Afghanistan. He's lost his arm and is returning to his old apartment, the building he'd gotten a job in when he was 16 years old. His old friend/boss/landlord is quick to offer him his apartment back. But when he returns to his old home, he's surprised to see that he has neighbors across the hall. One of them, Sam, a sharp witted therapist with a zest for life. And the other, Steve, a modern day Adonis with a constant smile on his face and a deep love of art. He wants to avoid his new neighbors and their myriad of friends who keep poking their way into his life, but he's not sure if he'll be able to. With his past constantly looming over his shoulder and Steve's friend Natasha trying to dig it up, how the hell is his life ever going to get back to normal?





	1. December

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this story since July. I've got twelve chapters and each one will be uploaded for every month of the year. So it'll be a year of this bullshit but hopefully you'll love this story as much as I do. Hope you enjoy!

December  
\-------------------

Bucky Barnes was tired. The last three months of his life had passed by in a whirlwind. He’d been involved in an IED explosion that caused him to lose his left arm. He’d been hospitalized for six weeks. He’d been honorably discharged with enough medals to last him a lifetime. And now he was sitting in a cab that was Brooklyn bound.

 

He'd left a lot behind when he'd gone away to Afghanistan, and now that he was stateside again, there was nowhere to go, except the last place he had called home. He didn't expect it to still be there waiting for him, but maybe Alice was still there, and maybe she could help him figure out a place to stay.

 

“You happy to be home kid?” Bucky shot his cab driver an annoyed glance and scoffed.

“I would have been happier to come back in one piece.” He waved what was remained of his left arm and the cabbie looked back at the road, clearly embarrassed.

They drove for several more minutes before they pulled up in front of a huge brick building. The neighborhood was nicer than Bucky remembered but he wasn’t complaining. The less drug deals going on outside his apartment, the better.

“Your total is $35.46.” Bucky frowned and opened his wallet. He only had $40 dollars for the week and he about to blow all of it. He pulled out his two twenties and left the cab with a frown on his face. He shouldered his duffel and pulled his trunk out of the front seat.

“Thanks I guess.” Bucky said awkwardly before approaching the building. He could see a woman sitting at the front desk and he said a little prayer of thanks when he recognized her. He entered the lobby and the woman looked up from the desk with a grin on her face.

“Well I’ll be fuckin’ damned! Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes! You’re home!” She walked around the desk and approached him with her arms outstretched. He wrapped his arm around her and smiled.

“Hi Alice. How’ve you been?” She looked at the pinned up sleeve of his left arm and frowned.

“Better than you obviously.” He smiled at her dark humor and her face lit up again. She pulled him up to the front desk and started rummaging around in the drawers. She held up a key and dangled it in his face.

“I’m sticking you right back in your old apartment. All the places have been renovated. Much nicer and more expensive than it was when you lived here. Gentrification and all that.” She motioned him to follow her and he dragged his trunk over to the elevator. The doors opened after a few seconds and she practically pushed him into the elevator.

“Alice, I can’t pay you. My insurance check is paying me $20,000 and I don’t get that money until next month.” She waved him off and pressed the button that would take them to the fourth floor.

“You don’t have to pay rent. You saved my life. I think I can at least give you an apartment and a job.”

Bucky nodded and leaned his trunk against the wall. He glanced over at Alice who was still smiling but was definitely more conscious of the puckered scars running down her face, neck, and arm.

“Well Al, I haven’t seen you in 8 years but you’re still gorgeous.” He bumped his hip against the older woman’s and she blushed. She playfully smacked his arm and he grinned.

“Still a flirt. It’s a shame you’re not available. I would have jumped your bones years ago if you weren’t gay.”

“Trust me...I know.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three days later and Bucky was still in awe of his new (technically old) apartment. The place looked brand spanking new and he loved it. Updated appliances, new light fixtures, and plain gray walls instead of paisley wallpaper. It would have been better if he had some furniture instead of a sleeping bag and an air mattress.

He set his trunk up in the dining room as a makeshift dining table and sat down to eat another one of the MRE’s he’d snuck out when he was shipped back home. They were terrible but he had enough to last him until the beginning of the next month.

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” Bucky jumped and sighed shakily when he realized it was just someone in the building yelling. He lowered his fork to stab at a piece of Salisbury steak when another shout made him flinch.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” He threw his fork down and stomped across his apartment. He ripped his front door open and noticed the door across the hall was sitting open. There were some clanging sounds and another string of curses coming from somewhere in the apartment.

“Hello?” He called out angrily. There was silence in the apartment before a tall, black guy poked his head around the door.

“Whatever you’re selling, we ain’t buying.” Bucky opened his mouth to voice his annoyance before the guy was pulled away from the door by a taller, muscular, blond man.

Bucky was trying not to stare but the guy was a fucking masterpiece. His muscles were bulging out his soaking wet v-neck. Bucky could see every detail of his chest and he had to bite his cheek from saying anything. He pushed his hair out his eyes and flashed Bucky an award winning smile.

“I’m sorry about my roommate Sam. He’s a good guy. He’s just frustrated. Was his yelling bothering you?” Bucky shook his head and smiled.

“Is everything alright?” The guy shook his head and ran his hand through his short hair again.

“Our sink is clogged and neither of us are very handy. Our friend babysat Sam’s bird Saturday and we think he did it.”

“I could help. I’m pretty handy. Although I’ll need your help. I can’t really work one handed.” He pointed at his left arm and the man frowned.

“Oh. You don’t have to do that. I’ll probably just call Alice. She’ll know what to do.”

“I know what to do. I’m disabled, not dead.” He smirked and his neighbor gestured for him to enter his apartment.

He followed the man through to living room into their kitchen. Sam was sitting cross legged on the floor. The cabinet doors were open and he was glaring angrily at the pipes.

“Shooting the pipes dirty looks isn’t gonna fix them.” Sam glared at him and moved out of the way for Bucky. He crouched down and grimaced. It was clear that the two men were clearly not handy.

“So you managed to remove the trap and sever the pivot line. Good job.” He said dryly.

“How bad is it?” The guy asked, crouching next to him. Bucky glanced at him and smiled.

“Not bad at all. Get a pipe cleaner and you two can fish your friends’ garbage out of the pipes. I’ll help you fix everything else.” Blond guy frowned and turned to rummage through one of the drawers. He turned around a second later with a pipe cleaner in his hands.

“We already tried using this and drain cleaner.”

“The clog may be stuck at the junction of the sanitary tee. Pipe cleaner wouldn’t reach that far without removing the trap first.” Both of them looked at him dumbfounded.

“I know you’re speaking English but I have no clue what the means.” Sam said shaking his head. Bucky shook his head as he accepted the pipe cleaner from Blond Guy.

“You two are hopeless. Move.” He gently pushed Sam’s shoulder until he slid backwards across the floor.

“You owe me.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Bucky finished up the sink with the two men’s help in 25 minutes. The clog turning out to be a small piece of chicken that smelled so rancid Sam threw up. And sure he was soaking wet (and he wasn’t sure how) and hungry but the job was done. He finished tightening the trap and stood up.

“Thank you so much…dude.” The blond man said awkwardly. Bucky smiled and extended his hand.

“Bucky Barnes.” The man smiled and shook his hand.

“Steve Rogers.”

“Well Steve, I’m gonna head home.” ‘ _Not that there is much to head back to._ ’He thought. Steve nodded and led him over to the door. He opened the door and frowned when he saw Bucky’s apartment door wide open.

“I hope nobody stole anything.” Bucky scoffed.

“There’s nothing to steal. Unless burglars like old copies of Wuthering Heights and MRE’s.”

“You don’t have a TV or anything?” Bucky shook his head and stepped into the hall.

“I don’t even have a phone. I’m gonna be living like a squatter for the next few weeks.” Steve hesitated and looked back into his own apartment.

“Do you want to stay for dinner? We have a dining table.” He said with a wry chuckle. 

 

“No it’s fine. I’ll just go home and eat. I don’t want to bother you guys” Steve shook his head.

 

“You wouldn’t be bothering us. Please, I insist.” Bucky gnawed on his lip for a few seconds before he shot Steve a soft smile.

“What are we having?”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Dinner as it turned out, was homemade pizza. Bucky helped Steve with the toppings but he was pretty useless when it came to kneading dough. By the time the three of them were done cooking, they were covered in pizza sauce and flour. The pizza was delicious and it took them over an hour to eat because they were too busy chatting.

Bucky was amazed that he’d already made friends with two of his neighbors. Sam, who’d seemed snotty and distant at first, was a happy go lucky guy with a sunny disposition and a dirty sense of humor. He’d discovered that Sam was also a veteran like himself. He’d served with the Air Force as a para-rescue for 10 years before returning home 15 months before. He was currently in school working towards a degree in psychology.

Steve was even more fantastic than Bucky had expected. He was an artist who was making a good name for himself. He’d graduated from The New York Academy of Art three years before and was working at the high school down the street as an art teacher. He was also very sweet and a terrible liar, according to Sam.

“Oh man! I’m about to explode! That was a big ass pizza!” Sam said grinning. He patted his stomach which was slightly bigger than it had been before they sat down.

“You’re about to explode because you ate half the pizza, you greedy bastard.” Steve said, glaring at Sam before cracking a smile.

“You were only gonna eat a couple slices anyway. You’re all about maintaining that beautiful physique.” Sam kicked Steve under the table and stood up.

“I’m going to go and fill out paperwork, unfortunately. It was nice meeting you, Bucky. Thanks for fixing the sink.” He shook Bucky’s hand before disappearing from the room.

Bucky was left sitting at the dining table with Steve who was still nibbling on his last piece of pizza. They sat together in comfortable silence for a few moments before Steve laid his slice down. He patted his own stomach and grinned.

“I’m so full. I haven’t eaten that much in a long time.”

“Neither have I. Especially not food that good.” Steve frowned and pushed his plate away.

“How long were you overseas?” Bucky sighed and looked down at his hand.

“8 years.”

“Why’d you join the military in the first place?” Bucky looked up expecting to see Steve looking at him in disgust like a lot of people he’d unfortunately met before. But he was surprised to see complete and utter curiosity on his face.

“College. Like most young kids, I wanted a degree. I also wanted to do something good. I felt like I was helping the country. I realized I’d made a mistake after I’d signed on for the next four years though. Probably the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life.”

“Because you lost your arm?” Steve asked. He scooted his chair closer to Bucky’s so their knees were touching. Bucky glanced down at their legs and clenched his jaw. He gently pulled his leg away from Steve’s and continued talking

“Yeah. And because basic training was a bitch. My feet were so blistered after the first 6 weeks I couldn’t walk. Nobody told me to wear wool socks instead of cotton. Medics cut my feet down to the muscle. I was out on commission for three months. They didn’t discharge me though. The minute my feet were healed, I was back in the field.” Steve looked horrified and he patted his arm sympathetically. Bucky smiled sadly and continued.

“I also hated combat. Not just because I was killing innocent guys who were just fighting the same way I was, but because I was watching my friends die. I watched my friend Lopez get a bullet between her eyes when we were out on patrol. It was more difficult when I reached a higher rank. I watched so many of my men die.” His voice wavered at the end and he heard Steve gasp softly.

“That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.” His tone was caring and Bucky felt his heart flutter. ‘ _This is wrong._ ’ Bucky thought before he stood up and pulled away from Steve.

“I should go home. It’s late.” He frowned as he stood up. His tone was suddenly icy and Steve looked surprised before disappointment washed across his features.

“Ok, Bucky. Let me walk you out.” He led Bucky over to the front door and opened it for him. He opened his mouth to wish Bucky a good night but Bucky had disappeared into his own apartment, closing the door in Steve’s face.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“I don’t understand though. We were just talking and he suddenly got cold and distant. I thought we were getting along.” Steve was on the phone with Natasha as he flurried around the kitchen making breakfast.

 

“He’s adjusting Steve. I was the same way when I got back. It’s hard to get back into a routine and he’s probably not ready to start developing life changing friendships so soon after getting back. He’s just trying to get by. A lot has changed since he left.” Steve sighed and turned off the stove. He brought his frying pan to the counter and deposited his eggs and bacon on his plate.

“I just feel bad for the guy. He’s barely said a word to me since last Tuesday.” Natasha groaned and he heard some background noise before he heard her TV turn on.

 

“What are you doing, Nat?”

“Watching the news before I go to work. I’d love to hear your pathetic ass whine about your crush for hours but I’ve got stuff to do.” Steve was glad Nat couldn’t see him because he was blushing furiously at her ‘crush’ comment.

“I can hear you blushing, Rogers. Get to work.” The line clicked and he knew she’d hung up on him.

He quickly scarfed down his breakfast before filling his thermos with hot coffee and packing himself a quick lunch. He left his apartment in a hurry. He needed to be in his classroom an hour before his first class and he was running late.

Steve rushed to the elevator and pressed the down button. As the lights changed announcing the elevator’s slow descent, he sighed. He began tapping his foot impatiently when he heard someone laugh. He turned and saw Bucky coming down the hall.

“Relax, dude. It’ll be here in a sec.” He walked up and stood next to Steve, an enormous toolbox in his hand.

“Where are you headed with that?” Steve pointed at the toolbox and Bucky frowned.

“Alice hired me as the handyman and I’ve got to go fix a toilet in 2B. I’m not excited. I just wanted to sleep.”

“It’s 6 am. It’s not too early.” Bucky groaned and stepped into the elevator that Steve hadn’t even noticed arrived.

“I’ve been getting up at five am for the last 8 years. I just want to stop waking up before the sun for once.” He pressed the button for the ground floor and rubbed his eyes.

Steve noticed that he had a few days growth of facial hair. His hair wasn’t gelled back like it had been when they first met, instead it was loose and draping across his forehead.

“I thought men had to keep their hair short in the military?” Bucky ran a hand through his hair.

“They do. I had my hair short on the sides and longer on top. When I was hospitalized, they didn’t cut it. There was no point. I was leaving anyways. So I decided to grow it out.”

“I like it. I think you’d look good with long hair.” Bucky smiled and pushed his hair out of his eyes.

“I do look good with long hair. I had it about an inch above my shoulders when I shipped out. Alice kept telling to cut it before I left but I don’t think I would have been able to.” The elevator doors opened and the two of them stepped out.

Bucky waved as he headed down the hallway to the ground floor apartments. Steve watched him leave with a frown on his face. He didn’t notice Alice walk up next to him until she whistled softly.

“He’s cute isn’t he?” Steve shrugged and headed to the lobby. He could hear Alice’s heels clicking on the wooden floors as she ran to catch up to him.

“Admit it, Steve. You think he’s attractive.” She crossed her arms and he turned to look at her. He tried not to laugh at the stern look on her face.

“Yeah he’s hot. Why does it matter?” He began walking again and she clapped her hands before she ran in front of him to stop him.

“Then why don’t you ask him out?” Steve scoffed.

“Because he’s clearly not interested. And he just got back from Afghanistan. I don’t want to force anything on him or make him uncomfortable.” He pushed past his tiny landlord and made his way to the revolving doors and peered outside. The snow was piled up on the sidewalk and he groaned. His truck was buried under a mountain of snow.

“Roads are closed, Steve. There’s a blizzard coming.” He turned to see Alice looking at him with a smug grin on her face.

He walked back to the building and pulled out his phone. Nat had texted him a picture of her frowning in front of her TV. The screen stating that the roads and schools were closed until further notice. He checked the high school’s website and they had put up an announcement saying that school would be let out for winter break two days early.

“Great.” Steve grumbled.

“You can probably pass the time some other way. Maybe with a certain soldier.” Alice wiggled her eyebrows and he snorted.

“You’re really annoying. You know that? And you have a bad habit of getting involved in your tenant’s lives.” She smirked and turned to go back behind her desk in the lobby.

Steve made his way back to his apartment. He had nothing to do for the next three weeks and he was so ready to lounge around in his underwear watching Netflix. He hung his coat up by the entrance and walked over to the answering machine on the table next to the couch. He pressed play and smiled when he heard Sam’s voice.

“Hey man! Just wanted to call and let you know I made it to D.C. in one piece. My mom picked me up and you’re never gonna believe who she invited over for dinner on Christmas Eve. Riley! I haven’t seen Riley since high school. She kept talking about how he’s a detective now and that he’s single and he has a house. I think she thinks we’re going to get back together or something. Sorry, I’m rambling on. Merry Christmas! Wish I could be there with you man! Love you!” The message ended and Steve grinned.

Steve went about putting his things away. After that he placed his lunch in the fridge and figured he’d eat it later. He poured his coffee down the drain and left the thermos in the sink.

Right as he was heading to his room to go back to sleep he heard a crash out in the hall. He headed to his front door and peeked out. Bucky was lying on the hall floor with his hand gripping his side. Steve opened the door and Bucky looked up at him in surprise.

“Why aren’t you at work?” He asked, struggling to stand up. Steve offered his hand and pulled him to his feet.

“The blizzard closed the roads. You didn’t hear?”

“No phone or TV. Remember?” Steve nodded and looked at the tools that were spread out across the hallway floor.

“What happened?”

“I tripped over my fucking shoelace.” He looked down at his badly tied shoelaces and grimaced.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He finally looked at Steve and something flickered across his face before he was serious again. “Thanks.”

“I hope you didn’t have Christmas plans. We’re gonna be snowed in for a while.” Steve was making small talk and he hated himself for it but he wanted to engage Bucky in conversation.

“I’m Jewish.”

“Oh.” Steve’s cheeks flushed and Bucky smiled.

“I don’t have plans though. My family…we’re not on the best of terms.”

“Well if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me. And you can come over for Christmas Eve if you want. I don’t have big plans. Just my friend Nat and I having dinner.” He smiled and Bucky seemed flustered.

“I’ll think about it.”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky was sitting in the lobby reading Wuthering Heights for the millionth time when a present was shoved in front of his face. He looked up and Alice was standing over him with a smirk on her face.

“What’s this?” She smiled and sat down on the couch next to him.

“A Christmas present. I know you’re Jewish but I couldn’t help myself. Consider it a late Hanukkah present actually.” He smiled and gingerly unwrapped the gift.

“Overcoming The War: A Vet’s Guide to Reintegrating Yourself into Society.” He looked over at Alice who had a hopeful smile on her face.

“Do you like it? I thought you could really use it.”

“Yeah…it’s great. Thanks.” He leaned forward to hug her but she was too busy snickering at him.

“What?” He asked confused. That seemed to be the final straw for her though because her snickering turned into full blown laughter. He glared at her which only seemed to make her laugh harder.

“I’m not a total bitch, Bucky. Open the book.”

He opened the book to reveal a huge hole in the center of it. Lying in the center was a brand new iPhone 6. He picked it and stared at it in awe. He opened the box to expose the phone which was…

“Pink? Really?” She shook her and took his hand.

“It’s not pink, Barnes…it's rose gold.” She broke out in laughter again and he sighed.

“You’re a regular comedienne, Alice. But thank you.” He hugged her and she squeezed him gently.

“So…what’s up with you and Steve?” She asked after they pulled apart. He looked at her and quirked his eyebrow.

“Nothing. He’s just my neighbor. Why?” She patted his cheek.

“You’re so dense.” She walked away leaving him on the couch, very confused.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve definitely wasn’t panicking. His sweet potatoes definitely wasn’t burned. His lasagna definitely wasn’t undercooked. His wine definitely didn’t have chunks of cork in it. He definitely wasn’t missing one of his nice china plates. Everything was going fine.

At least that’s what he was telling himself. He only had a few minutes before Natasha and maybe Bucky showed up and he felt like ripping his hair out. He put the lasagna back in the oven for another 20 minutes before focusing on the sweet potatoes. The marshmallows laying across the top were black and they smelled atrocious.

“Crap.” He grumbled before digging around in his utensil drawer for a spoon. He scraped the layer blackened marshmallows off and placed a new layer of fluffy, white ones across. He debated whether he should put them in the oven before settling on the microwave.

“Knock, knock!” He glanced up and saw Natasha entering the living room with a bottle of wine in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other.

“Oh thank God! I got cork in the wine!” She smirked and placed the bottles on the island in the kitchen.

“Of course you did. Give me the bottle.” He handed her the open bottle and she took a chug.

“It’s not too corky. Just a little bit. I’ll drink it though.” She walked away from the counter to plop down on the couch with the bottle in one hand and the remote in the other.

“Why are you going all out? We usually just have frozen pizza or boxed dinner.” He shrugged and pulled the sweet potatoes out of the microwave.

“No reason.” She squinted at him suspiciously and took another swig of the wine.

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. Natasha looked over at Steve, expecting him to open the door but he was frozen in place. She stared at him before standing up to head over to the door. 

“No don’t worry. I’ve got it.” Nat said sarcastically before opening the door. Steve peered around the corner to see Bucky standing awkwardly in the hallway. Natasha extended her left hand and he shook it before looking over at Steve. He smiled and Steve felt his heart race. Natasha looked over at Steve and smirked when she saw the look on his face.

“Hello, Natasha Romanov. You must be ‘no reason.’”

“What?”

“Oh it’s just a joke. Nice to meet you. Bucky, right?” She moved aside and gestured for him to enter the apartment.

“You came.” Steve said, surprised.

“Of course I did. I’m not gonna turn down free food and alcohol. “

Steve turned back to the kitchen and checked his lasagna. He tuned out Nat’s babbling and thought about whether or not he should change his clothes. He was fiddling with hem of his shirt when he heard footsteps behind him.

“Smells good. Lasagna?” He turned to look at Bucky who was leaning against the stool. He nodded and opened the oven to peer in at it.

“It’ll cook faster if you keep the oven closed.” Steve closed the door and took off his oven mitts. Bucky sat on the stool and began picking at the green beans sitting in a bowl on the counter.

“Hey hands off.” Steve playfully swatted Bucky’s hand away and took the bowl. Bucky pouted and picked up one of the rolls instead.

“Can I have one of these, Chef Rogers?” Steve nodded and Bucky took a huge bite.

“Damn these are good.”

“They were my mom’s favorite before she passed. I still make them every year.” Steve’s face fell and Bucky grinned at him.

“Well she had great taste. I might eat all of these by myself.” Steve pulled the bread basket away from Bucky before he could grab another roll.

He shooed Bucky out of the kitchen, not before he stole another handful of green beans, and focused on gathering plates and utensils. Steve felt like slapping himself for not setting the table earlier but he’d been too busy wondering whether or not Bucky would show up.

“He’s cute.” Steve rolled his eyes and looked at Natasha who was still gripping the bottle of wine.

“Then ask him out.” He said. She shook her head and hopped up on the counter. He tried to shoo her off but she just placed her foot on his stomach and shook her head. He backed away with his hands up in mock surrender.

“I’m not asking him out. Not with the way you were staring at him.”

“I wasn’t staring at him.”

“Bullshit.” She scoffed.

“Language.” He said reflexively. A habit he’d picked up from his Catholic mother. Nat smirked and took the plates from Steve.

“Pardon me, sir.” She joked before heading towards the dining table. Steve sighed and took off his apron. He needed to change.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So how long were you overseas?” Nat asked as she piled another piece of lasagna on her plate. Her fourth piece if Bucky was counting correctly.

“8 years.” She whistled lowly.

“I served in Afghanistan for 6 years.” Bucky nodded and dropped his eyes back to his plate. He’d wasn’t sure how Nat was shoveling all that food into her tiny body. He’d only eaten half a piece and he felt sick.

“You ok?” Steve asked quietly. Bucky shrugged and he felt him place a hand on his shoulder.

“You can leave if you’re not comfortable. I know Nat’s a little hard to get used to.” Natasha stuck her tongue out at Steve and ate another forkful of food.

“I’m fine. It’s just a bad day for me.” Nat looked worried at that and put her fork down.

“You didn’t have to come if you weren’t feeling ok.” Nat tapped the side of her head and Bucky frowned.

“No I’m fine. I’m never gonna make friends or meet people if I just stay inside all day.”

Natasha shoved the rest of her food in her mouth and swallowed. After chugging her drink, she stood up and headed to the door. Steve watched her slide her feet into her shoes and frowned.

“Nat? Where are you going?” She smiled and crossed the room to grab what remained of the vodka off of the counter.

“I’m going home. My vibrator is calling my name.” Steve blushed and she stopped next to him to pat his shoulder.

“I’ll see you at Tony’s on New Year’s Eve, ok? Party starts at eight so be there no later than 9. You know how Tony gets when people don’t show up on time. He’s such a drama queen. I don’t know how Pepper puts up with him.” She placed a kiss on his cheek and he gave her a quick goodbye before she slipped out of his apartment.

“I think I’ll head out too. Thanks for dinner.” Bucky stood and he tried not to look at Steve who was frowning. He started for the front door before Steve grabbed his wrist.

“You don’t have to leave. We could watch a movie.” Steve said with a hopeful smile. Bucky stared at him before he nodded.

“Yeah ok. A movie sounds good.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I can’t believe you’ve never seen The Notebook. It’s a classic.” Bucky wrinkled his nose and Steve laughed.

“I’m not into chick flicks.” Steve put the movie in the DVD player and plopped down on the couch. He kicked his feet up on the table and grabbed the remote.

“Chick flicks are great though. They’re so romantic.” Bucky rolled his eyes and Steve laughed again. A sound so beautiful it made Bucky’s heart race.

“They’re boring and predictable though. This one most likely has a kiss in the rain, a bratty girl who doesn’t like him at first, and a guy who is supposed to be hot but looks extremely average.” Steve stared at him for a second before pressing the eject button.

“Maybe we should watch something else.” Bucky laughed and put his hand on Steve’s thigh, stopping him from standing up.

“It’s fine. Just play the damn movie. Maybe it won’t be so bad.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ok so I was wrong. That was awful.” Bucky said as the final credits rolled. Steve laughed and stood up to take the movie out.

“It wasn’t so bad. Rachel McAdams is pretty..” Bucky scoffed.

“No way! The guy that played Lon is gorgeous!” Steve looked at him, eyebrow raised in surprise.

“Really? You think he’s hot?”

“What? Is my taste in guys really that bad?” Steve shook his head and put the movie back on the shelf.

“James Marsden is ok. I prefer Hayden Christensen though.”

“Anakin Skywalker? Yeah he’s hot.”

The two of them talked for another several minutes before church bells began ringing outside. Bucky frowned and realized that they were striking midnight. He stood up and Steve looked disappointed and upset. Bucky ignored the feeling that left in his stomach and shrugged.

“It’s late. I’m headed home.”

“Ok. I guess I’ll see you later, Cinderella.” Bucky rolled his eyes and headed for the front door. Steve stood quickly to follow him out.

“Do you have any plans for New Years?” Bucky smirked.

“Damn, Rogers. You trying to steal all my holidays from me?”

“No. I wanted to know if you’d go with me to Tony’s party.”

“Are you asking me on a date?” Bucky asked, furrowing his brow. Steve quickly shook his head when his neighbor tensed and he saw Bucky visibly relax.

“No. Just wanted to know if you wanted to go.”

“I’ll think about it. Later.” He left the apartment before Steve could even wish him goodnight.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve had moped around his apartment all Christmas day with nothing to do. Most of his friends, save for Natasha, were out of town visiting family for the holidays. He thought about inviting Bucky over for lunch but decided against it after remembering how strange he’d acted the night before.

Instead he texted all of his friends ‘Merry Christmas’ and watched TV all day. He got off of the couch around one to make a sandwich and to use the bathroom a couple of times, but he was basically couch bound.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Two days after Christmas, Sam came home. He burst into the apartment with a grin on his face, his suitcase in one hand, and a paper bag in the other. Steve grinned when his friend walked in and crossed the room to give him a hug.

“Why didn’t you call me and tell me you were coming back early? I would have made lunch.” Sam waved him off and shed his coat.

“Nah, it’s fine. I ate on the train. How was your Christmas, man?” Steve shrugged and Sam frowned.

“Didn’t you tell me you invited ‘hot neighbor’ over for dinner Christmas Eve? What happened with that?” Steve ran a hand across his unshaven face and groaned.

“I bombed. I tried to ask him out to Tony’s party but he got super scared and asked if it was a date. I told him no and he seemed relieved. He’s clearly not interested.” Sam nodded and crossed the room to plop down on the couch, paper bag in his lap.

“Wanna know what happened with Riley?”

“It wasn’t something terrible, right?” Sam shook his head and opened the paper bag. He reached in and pulled out a small snow globe. A picture of him and Riley kissing was sitting in the center and Steve snickered. The picture was clearly old and Sam looked miserable holding the thing.

“What the hell is that?”

“A ‘gift’ from my mom. She got one for Riley too. I love my mother to death but I swear I almost strangled her right there in the living room.” Steve took the snow globe from his friend and stared at it. It was hideous and he had to fight another laugh from escaping his lips.

“What did Riley say?” Sam smiled.

“He accepted his with a fake smile and told me later that he was going to leave it in the trunk of his car. He doesn’t want the guy he’s dating now to see it.”

“Oh so he isn’t single?” Sam shook his head.

“He said ‘I’m seeing someone’ and my mom heard, ‘I’m not technically off of the market.’ She’s crazy, I swear.” He placed the snow globe on the coffee table and face his friend with a smirk.

“You gonna give up on, Barnes or are you gonna try again?”

“I’m not asking him out again. He’s not interested. Besides, you know I’m not fully over Peggy.” Sam rolled his eyes and reached out to shake Steve’s shoulders.

“It’s been two years. Let her go!”

“I loved her.” Sam rolled his eyes again and Steve smacked his leg.

“You loved her cousin Sharon too. And Matt. And Nancy. And me.” Sam said counting off on his fingers.

“Well you don’t count. We only dated for a few months and I never fell in love with you.” Sam gasped and placed his over his heart.

“You never loved me? I can’t believe this!” He feigned fainting and Steve laughed and shoved him.

“We’re better off as friends anyways. You’re too old for me.”

“Fuck you, dude! I’m only 29!” Steve laughed.

“Yeah and I’m 26. That’s 3 years, Sam.”

“So? You never had a problem dating Peggy. And she was two years older than you.” Steve smiled and wrapped an arm around Sam’s shoulder.

“Well Peggy was a good kisser.” That earned Steve a swift punch in the arm that left him wincing in pain but grinning anyways.  
“I still think you should ask him out.” Sam said after a minute later.

“Sam.” Steve said, frustration in his voice. Sam put his hand up to silence him.

“You didn’t see him checking you out at dinner two weeks ago. The dude was hanging on your every word.” Steve stared at his friend.

“Really?” Steve asked, clearly not believing his friend.

“Really. He’s clearly interested. He’s probably just scared. Doesn’t want to get into a relationship so soon after getting out. You don’t know what’s going on in his head.”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Bucky had gone to Alice’s apartment the day after Christmas to see her. He’d walked into her basement home to see her bent over the sink washing her hair. She was wearing a robe and she had hair dye staining her skin.

“Hey Alice.” She must have heard him come in because she just grunted and continued rinsing her hair. He crossed the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. The sink stopped running and he looked over to see her squeezing the water out of her hair.

“You should ask first. It’s the polite thing to do.” She wrapped her hair in her towel and crossed the room to pluck the beer out of his hand. She popped it open and took a drink.

“Fine. May I please have a beer, Alice?” She pursed her lips and nodded.

“Don’t be sarcastic.” He took another beer from the fridge and she took it from him to open it. She passed it back and he crossed the room to plop down on her couch.

“So how was dinner with Natasha and Steve?” She wiggled her eyebrows and continued towel drying her hair.

“It was…nice. Food was delicious. Natasha’s kind of hard to get used to.”

“But how was Steve?” He rolled his eyes and chugged half of his beer.

“I think he tried to ask me out. I’m not sure.” She smiled at that and sat down on the couch next to him.

“What happened?”

“He asked me to go to his friends New Year’s party with him. I asked him if he was asking me out and he said no. But something seemed off with him.” Alice sighed.

“New Year’s? That must be Tony’s party. Craziest party of the year. Drugs, alcohol, sexy women, gorgeous men, everything in between. Not exactly the kind of party you bring a date too.” Alice seemed puzzled and took another sip of her beer.

“So I was just reading the situation wrong?” She tapped a finger to her chin.

“Maybe. Or maybe not. I don’t know what goes on in his brain.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky spent the days leading up to New Year’s relaxing. He was going to bed at midnight and not waking up until noon. He felt more calm and relaxed than he had in years. He mostly laid on his uncomfortable air mattress watching Game of Thrones on his phone.

When New Year’s Eve finally came, he felt confident about going to the party. He was a fan of expensive liquor, good food, and attractive men. He wanted to dress nice but he didn’t want to wear his dress uniform despite it being the nicest thing he owned. He decided against it and instead put on a black button down and black jeans.

He struggled with his buttons and shoelaces for a good 15 minutes before he was finally dressed. Before leaving, he grabbed his leather jacket, which looked nice enough but was clearly well used. It hung awkwardly on him since he didn’t have a left arm to fill it out anymore. He left his apartment at 8:30 and crossed the narrow hallway to knock on Steve’s door.

The door opened a minute later and Sam was standing there, still in the process of buttoning up his shirt. He motioned for Bucky to enter and led him to the living room. Steve was sitting on the couch, lacing his dress shoes up. He was wearing a white dress shirt and charcoal dress pants. His clothes hugged his body beautifully and Bucky groaned internally.

“Wow. You look nice.” Steve said with an approving nod.

“Yeah, you too.” Bucky responded gruffly.

“What about me? Or do I look like crap?” Sam piped up from next to Bucky.

“You’ll be the prettiest princess at the ball, Sam. The men and women will swoon over you.” Bucky said sarcastically. The two roommates both chuckled while Sam adjusted his collar.

“Man, I hope so. I haven’t gotten laid in forever.”

“You better not bring anyone back here. I don’t need to be up until 5 am because you got horny.” Sam waved him off and grabbed his jacket off of the hook by the door.

“Same goes for you, Cap.” Bucky furrowed his brow and looked at Steve confused.

“Cap? Is that short for Captain?” Steve nodded and grabbed his phone off of the coffee table.

“Steve is the only one in our group of friends who isn’t military. Tony didn’t want him to feel left out so he started calling him Captain or Cap for short. Steve hates it.”

“Well of course I hate it. It’s a stupid nickname.” Bucky half smiled at that.

“I like it…Cap.” Steve groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Great job, Wilson! Now Bucky is calling me Cap.” Sam just smiled and pulled his jacket on. Steve brushed past Bucky to grab his own jacket and the three of them left the apartment.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The car ride to Tony’s penthouse in Manhattan was longer than any of them expected. Steve’s truck didn’t have any problems getting through the snow but the traffic was insane. Sam was complaining every five minutes and Steve smacked him a few times when he started whining.

“Ugh! What’s taking so long?” Sam said.

“It’s an hour drive because of traffic. You know that, Sam. Stop complaining. You’re not five.” Sam slunk down in the front seat and groaned again. Bucky chuckled from the backseat and turned to look back out the window.

It wasn’t snowing heavily like it had earlier in the week. Instead little flurries were dusting across the piles of black snow pushed up against the sidewalk by the snow plows. The atmosphere in the car was calm and jazz music was pouring out softly from the radio. Sam and Steve were arguing in the front seat about music.

“So how long have you two known each other?” Bucky asked, sitting forward so he could look at the two of them better.

“Um…we met 11 years ago right?” Sam said uncertainly. Steve nodded and smiled.

“We met when Sam was on leave. I was this scrawny, asthmatic 15 year old and he was this 18 year tough, strong, brave guy about to join the army. I thought he was so amazing.”

“You used to be scrawny? I don’t believe that.” Sam turned to look at Bucky and nodded.

“I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself. He was 5’4 when I met him and he was barely 90 pounds. By the time I was shipped back out, he was 6’ and 170 pounds.” Bucky looked at him wide eyed.

“Seriously?” Steve nodded and Bucky whistled lowly.

“Impressive. Did you grow into your nose too?”

“Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.” Steve said dryly.

They continued the drive and they were at Tony’s building within 15 minutes. Sam and Steve got out of the truck but Bucky was just staring up at the building in awe. Steve sidled up next to him and stared up at the building.

“It’s a little overwhelming at first. You get used to it.”

“Your friend Tony is Tony Stark?!” Bucky asked, dumbfounded.

“Why? Did I not mention that?” Steve said cheekily.

He tugged on Bucky’s sleeve to pull him over to the door of the building. They were given passes to the elevator by a security guard and they entered the glass elevator. As the elevator climbed further up, Bucky was still looking around him in shock.

“Hello, Mr. Wilson. Hello, Mr. Rogers.” A voice said, cutting into the silence.

“Hey, JARVIS. Tony know we’re coming up?” Sam asked.

“Yes, sir. He said he’ll be waiting for you by the northern fireplace.”

“Thanks, JARVIS.” Steve said.

“You’re welcome, Mr. Rogers.”

“What the hell was that?” Bucky asked. Sam looked at him and laughed.

“That was JARVIS. He’s Tony’s smart home security system. He’s artificial intelligence Tony created about 10 years ago.” Bucky just shook his head.

When the elevator stopped finally, they were on a rooftop. Guests were milling about, most with drinks in their hands. The roof, despite being exposed was surprisingly warm. Most people were wandering around without jackets on and they seemed fine. Sam and Steve cut through the crowd and Bucky stayed close behind them.

They finally approached a fireplace that was surrounded by people. A tall, dark haired man with a strawberry blonde on his arm was chatting away with a tall blond guy. Steve and Sam approached the group and the dark haired guy, who Bucky recognized as Tony, broke away to greet them with a smile.

“’Bout damn time! What took so long?” Steve shook his hand and shrugged.

“The traffic was terrible. It took forever to get out of Brooklyn.” He nodded and shook Sam’s hand.

“Well I’m glad you two got here in one piece. Now we can party!” He looked past the two of them and made eye contact with Bucky.

“Who’s tall, dark, and moody?” he asked, jerking his head in Bucky’s direction.

“This is Bucky Barnes. He’s our new neighbor.” Sam said. Bucky stepped forward and offered his hand. 

 

“Nice to meet you. I’m obviously Tony Stark. Philanthropist, billionaire, genius, former playboy.” Hr glanced over at Bucky’s left arm and frowned.

“What happened to your arm? Because if you need a new one, I can hook you up. For a price of course.” Steve clapped a hand on Tony’s shoulder and turned him away from Bucky.

“Stop being a jerk, Tony.” Tony mumbled something about being courteous under his breath before walking off to rejoin the strawberry blonde.

“Well, Barnes…this is the gang.” Sam said with a sweeping gesture towards the group in front of them.

“The short, dirty blond is Clint Barton. The tall blond is Thor Odinson, don’t ask about his name. And the woman holding Thor’s hand is his girlfriend, Jane Foster. Obviously you know Nat, but the man she’s talking to is Dr. Bruce Banner. And the woman talking to Thor and Tony is Pepper Potts, Tony’s wife.” Steve pointed out each person in the group and Bucky was trying to remember all the names.

“Ok, any topics I should avoid?” Bucky asked.

“Um, Clint is a widow, so don’t talk about his wife unless he mentions her. Thor will talk about anything and so will Nat. Pepper doesn’t like Republicans so don’t mention politics if you’re one. Tony, Jane, and Bruce adore science so that’s a safe topic. Try not to tick off Bruce though. He’s got some serious anger issues.” Bucky nodded.

“Got it.” Steve smiled at him and Bucky felt his heart flutter in his chest. He swallowed the lump in his throat and smiled back at him.

“I’m gonna get something to drink. You want something?”

“Whiskey on the rocks is fine.” Steve nodded and walked off to the bar across the roof. Bucky turned to talk to Sam but he had wandered off to sit down on the couch next to Clint. He stood there awkwardly for a second before someone placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Natasha smiling at him, Bruce standing next to her.

“Hey, Bucky. This is Bruce Banner. You didn’t look like you were going to talk to anybody so I brought Bruce over. He’s very easy to talk to. Trust me.” She winked and sauntered off, leaving him standing next to the shorter man.

“Hey, Dr. Banner, I’m James Barnes. Nice to meet you.” He shook the guy’s hand.

“Please, just call me Bruce.” The man said quietly. He was clearly shy and Bucky felt himself relax a bit.

“Then call me Bucky.” Bruce smiled at that and the two of them struck up easy conversation.

Steve returned a minute later with three drinks in his hand. He passed one off to Sam before bringing Bucky his. Bucky was in the middle of a conversation about nuclear physics with Bruce and Steve had to stifle a yawn.

“Wow. Where’d you find this guy, Steve?” Bruce asked, clearly impressed by Bucky’s knowledge. Bucky smiled and continued talking to Bruce, explaining his own theories.

“Where did you go to college, if you don’t mind me asking?” Bruce asked after a few minutes.

“I didn’t.” Steve’s head snapped up at that and he looked at Bucky confused.

“I thought you got a college degree in the military?” Bucky shook his head and took a swig of his drink.

“I signed up to get a free education. Doesn’t mean I actually got one. It’s the U.S military. You can’t trust them to keep their word.” Bruce raised his eyebrows and pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

“So you’ve only got a high school diploma?”

“Yep.” Bruce and Steve both looked shocked and impressed.

“Well, you’ve clearly got the brains to get into a nice school if you ever decide to apply.” Bruce said with a soft smile.

“Thanks, Bruce.” Natasha swooped in at that moment and linked her arm with Bruce’s.

“I’d love to let you boys chit chat about boring science stuff but Banner owes me a dance.” She pulled Bruce away and he shot them both an apologetic smile.

Steve grabbed Bucky’s arm and made him do rounds around the group. He met Thor, who had a pleasant personality and a booming voice, and his smart, friendly, sassy other half, Jane. Clint was talking to Sam animatedly about a crossbow he’d just bought and barely looked up to introduce himself to Bucky. Sam was hanging on Clint’s every word and occasionally chipped his two cents in about how cool crossbows were.

Pepper was smart and polite and Bucky felt intimidated talking to her even though she was completely personable. She was the complete opposite of Tony and he briefly wondered why they were together until he saw the way they stared at each other when one of them spoke.

“Your friends seem nice.” Bucky said to Steve after the two of them had had conversations with entire group.

“Yeah, they’re great.” Steve said, fondly. Bucky listened to music for second before smiling.

“Is this The Cranberries?” Steve listened before nodding.

 

“I think Pepper snuck this in.” Bucky looked at Pepper who seemed indifferent to the music. Tony on the other hand was swaying and mouthing along to the lyrics.

 

“Or Tony snuck it in.” Steve said with a chuckle.

Bucky turned to scan the room. A few people were dancing, including Natasha and Bruce. He tapped his foot to the music for a few seconds before he noticed a guy staring at him from across the room. He winked at him, and Bucky glanced at Steve who was looking at his phone.

“Hey. I think I know that guy. I’m gonna go say hello. I’ll be back in a minute.” Bucky said. Steve smiled and nodded.

“Ok, I’ll see you in a minute.”

Bucky crossed the room to the bar and ordered another whiskey. While he was waiting for his drink to be served, he saw someone approach the bar next to him. He glanced up and the man who’d winked at him from across the room was leaning against the bar.

“Hi. I’m Carl.” Bucky turned to look at the raven haired man, who looked to be a few years his senior.

“James.” The man nodded and Bucky watched him take a few sips of his beer before stepping closer.

“He your boyfriend?” Carl asked, gesturing towards Steve. Bucky shook his head fiercely and Carl smiled.

“Good.” He leaned closer to Bucky so his lips were right by ear.

“What do say we find somewhere private?” Bucky glanced back at Steve who was clearly deep in conversation with Sam and Clint. He turned to look back at Carl and smirked.

“You got a place in mind?”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky smoothed his hair back from his face and stood to pull his jeans back up around his waist. His jacket was slung over the back of the toilet and he quickly grabbed it. Carl came up next to him and smiled lasciviously 

 

“That was fun.” Bucky nodded and tucked his shirt into his pants.

“Sure was, Kyle.” Carl frowned and stepped away.

“My name is Carl.”

“I don’t care.” Carl scoffed and grabbed his own jacket.

“You’re an asshole, James.” He stormed out of the bathroom and Bucky took a minute to catch his breath. He felt like an asshole but he didn’t want Carl sticking around him. He finished dressing and left the bathroom.

“Bathroom sex? Classy.” Bucky jumped and turned to see Natasha leaning against the wall.

“Are you spying?” She nodded and sipped at her martini.

“Of course. And I found you in the throes of passion with Tony’s lawyer. Nice job, James.” He rolled his eyes and started walking towards the elevator. He could hear her heels clicking on the tile behind him and groaned.

“Why were you looking for me?”

“Because it’s almost midnight. Thought maybe you’d wanna share a kiss.” He laughed and stepped into the elevator. She followed him in and pressed the button for the roof.

“With you? Not interested.” She laughed.

“Neither am I. I meant with Steve.” He furrowed his brow and turned to look at her.

“Steve? No thanks.” She rolled her eyes.

“You’re an idiot, Barnes. You like him.” He shook his head.

“No I don’t. I don’t do relationships.”

“Bullshit. That’s not what Alice said.” He faced her, anger flaming in his eyes.

“What makes you think you can talk about my personal life? We’re not friends! Why are you nosing around in my business?” She looked frightened for a second before she shot him a steely look.

“She offered the information, asshole. She loves talking about you. You’re like a son to her. And she told me why you ended up in the slums of Brooklyn. I’m sorry, Bucky.” He turned away from her, fist clenched.

“I don’t need your fucking pity, Romanov.” The elevator doors opened and he stepped off, leaving her with an angry look on her face.


	2. January

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter! I decided to upload it today instead of the 31st because I figured people (some Americans at least) could use a distraction from today. Other than that, I hope you enjoy and have a great January.

_**January**_  
\-------------------

Bucky reentered the party as the guests were counting down to midnight. Everyone had their drinks raised and several people had party poppers and Tony was holding a large confetti gun. He crossed the roof to rejoin Steve who was standing next to Clint and Sam.

“5... 4…” He walked up to stand next to Steve and glared angrily at Natasha when she walked over to join Bruce across the room.

“3…” Natasha glared back at him and slipped her arm through Bruce’s.

“2… 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Confetti exploded everywhere and Bucky turned to face Steve.

“Hey, Cap!” Steve looked at him with a smile and Bucky pulled his mouth down to his.

The kiss wasn’t smooth and was a little sloppy but it was a kiss. Their teeth clashed together and Bucky grimaced at that. He pulled away from Steve after a few seconds and walked away. He glanced over at him as he boarded the elevator and saw him staring at him with a dumbfounded look on his face.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve left the party two hours later, still trying to wrap his mind around what happened. Sam had left 50 minutes before him and he was preparing to make a 30 minute car ride, alone with his thoughts.

He tried not to think about anything except for driving but he kept remembering how fiercely Bucky had kissed him. And how angry Natasha had looked afterwards. Or how she lectured him before she left to not read into it.

He shook the thoughts from his head and continued his drive home. He pulled into the parking garage down the street and made the short walk to his apartment. The lobby was dimly lit and empty, save for the security guard, Maria, at the desk.

When he got to his apartment, he saw clothes strewn about the floor. He rolled his eyes and walked down the hall to his studio. Sure enough, Sam’s bird, Redwing, was in his cage in the corner, his head tucked under his wing. Sam always left Redwing in Steve’s studio whenever he had a “ _guest_ ” over for the night. Redwing was good at mimicking and Sam didn’t want to be a bad influence on him.

He went back down the hall to his room and stripped down to his underwear. He thought about taking a shower to wash the smell of ozone and cigarette smoke off of him but he decided against it. His bones were too weary and his head was starting to get foggy. He climbed under his covers and he was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve woke up in the morning to the smell of bacon wafting through the house. His stomach growled and he decided to investigate and see what Sam was cooking. He threw on his sweatpants and padded down the short hall to the kitchen.

Sam was standing at the stove whistling, as he flipped bacon. He cracked some eggs into the other pan on the stove and alternated between flipping bacon and scrambling eggs. He heard Steve enter the kitchen and faced him with a grin.

“Happy New Year’s, man! It’s 2017! Can you believe it?” Steve shook his head.

“Who’d you ring in the New Year with, Sam?” Steve asked, a mischievous grin on his face. Sam rolled his eyes and slid the bacon and eggs onto three separate plates.

“Oh nobody special.” He brought the plates over to the dining table and pushed one of the plates toward Steve.

“Eat. I made enough for all of us.” Steve sat down and frowned.

“Who’s ‘us’?” Steve asked. The door to Sam’s bedroom squeaked and Natasha walked out wearing nothing but Sam’s shirt from the night before by the looks of it.

Steve’s mouth hung open as she crossed the room to place a wet kiss on Sam’s mouth. He just gaped at them as she sat down next to Sam and dug into her breakfast. Sam looked up at him with a grin and Steve shook his head.

“Please tell me this is a nightmare.” Natasha smiled and kicked Steve under the table.

“This is as real as it gets, Cap.” She shoved another forkful of eggs in her mouth and he just sighed.

“But you were with Bruce the whole night? I don’t understand.” She shrugged.

“This was bound to happen eventually. And I was hanging with Bruce because Sam stole Clint from me.”

“You can’t steal people.” Sam mumbled. She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“Yes you can. And you stole my best friend from me. Thief.” She continued eating and Steve finally picked up a piece of bacon to nibble at.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to wrap my head around this.” Natasha just shrugged and continued scarfing her food down. Sam laughed and shoveled half of his eggs onto her plate.

“You’re a bottomless pit. You eat so much and never gain a pound. It’s amazing.” She grinned at him and dug into her new portion of eggs.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky woke up with a blinding migraine. He knew it wasn’t from a hangover though. It was a stress headache and he buried his face back in his pillow. He could hear the bustle of the city outside his window and the faint rumble of a train.

“Bucky! You’d better be awake.” He groaned and sat up. He could hear Alice moving around in his kitchen and he mentally made a note to change his locks.

He left his room and headed down the hall to his kitchen. The kitchen and dining room were connected to his living room and Alice was standing in the middle of the room with a frown on her face.

“Bucky, I’ve paid you $3,000 in the last three weeks. And you’ve got a nice little insurance check this month too. You didn’t think to buy some damn furniture?” She chided. He shook his head and brushed past her to open his fridge.

“I didn’t get around to it. I don’t drive remember?” She rolled her eyes and leaned on the island.

“Why not ask Steve then?” He scoffed and pulled out a pitcher of juice.

“Because I did something stupid last night and now I’m never going to speak to him again.” He flashed her a sarcastic smile and Alice crossed her arms and frowned.

“Oh no. What’d you do?” He scratched the scruff on his cheek and frowned.

“I kissed him, yelled at his friend, and hooked up with another guy in the bathroom. Not in that particular order.” She grimaced and walked around the counter to get two glasses.

“Does he know you hooked up with someone?” He shrugged and passed her the pitcher.

“Unless Natasha told him, no.”

“So why are you never gonna speak to him again?” He looked at her like she was crazy.

“Did you not hear the part where my tipsy ass kissed him?” She nodded.

“Did it mean anything?” He shook his head furiously.

“Then why do you care?”

“Because it’s embarrassing.”

“If you’re not interested in him, why are so worried about what he’ll think about you?” She raised a brow at him and he squinted at her.

“I’m not.”

“Then ask him if he'll drive you to the Salvation Army or something.”

“Salvation Army? Really? Aren’t they the ones who hate gay people?” She winced and poured them both a glass of juice.

“Then go to Goodwill. You’re too stubborn for nice stuff anyways.” He nodded and sighed heavily.

“I’ll ask him on Saturday, “mom”.” She smirked and he rolled his eyes.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky opened his door and was immediately greeted by the sight of Sam and Natasha sucking each other’s faces. He barked out a surprised laugh and they pulled away from each other.

“Oh shit. Are we bugging you?” Sam asked hurriedly. Bucky waved him off and traded a tense look with Natasha.

“Please don’t stop on account of me. I just needed to talk to your roommate.” Sam nodded and he pulled Natasha away from the door.

“Go on in. I think he’s getting dressed.” Bucky nodded and nodded curtly at Natasha before opening the door and entering his neighbor’s apartment.

The apartment was eerily quiet and he paused a moment to look over the living room. There was a picture of a young blonde woman on the wall and he wondered if she was Steve’s mother. She appeared to be taken off guard but she was still beaming at the person holding the camera.

“Bucky?” He turned to see Steve standing in the kitchen with a look of surprise on his face.

“Hey. Sam let me in.” Steve nodded but looked like he was waiting for further explanation.

“I wanted to ask you for a favor.” Steve shifted uncomfortably.

“What do you need?”

“Do you think you could give me a ride to Goodwill? I need to pick up some clothes and cheap furniture and I can’t exactly get a sofa home on the subway.” Steve chuckled and nodded.

“I don’t even think that’s legal. I can give you a ride, no problem.” Bucky cracked a smile and Steve beamed at him.

“Thanks man. I really appreciate it.” Steve shrugged.

“It’s really no problem. Do you want to go now? Cause I’m free.” Bucky nodded.

“That’d be great.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky was standing in the doorway of his apartment with a frown on his face. He’d picked up an ugly checkered sofa and a flowered love seat at Goodwill. He didn’t care about the patterns though. He just wanted comfortable furniture.

But now he was watching Steve and his friend Clint, who they’d managed to pick up on their way back from Goodwill, struggle to fit the sofa through the front door. Bucky wasn’t able to help them much with his missing arm but he was trying his best to supervise and guide them into the apartment.

Clint gave the sofa one final pull and finally it slid through the door. The three of them cheered and Clint collapsed onto the sofa still in the entryway. He was panting and his face was dripping with sweat despite the 15 degree weather.

“Why’d you have to live on the fourth floor, dude? I’m gonna die.” He said, dramatically throwing an arm across his face.

“No you’re not. Now get up. We’ve still got to move this thing into the actual living room.” Steve ordered. Clint whined but stood up from the couch.

The two of them slid it across the wood floors fairly easily and Clint cheered when Bucky said he’d arrange it next to the love seat later. The three of them spread out across his new furniture and relaxed for a few minutes before Clint stood up, pulling his phone from his pocket.

“I think we should invite some more people over and have a sofa warming party.” Bucky frowned and shook his head.

“I don’t know anyone in Brooklyn.” Clint scoffed and started texting numbers in his phone.

“You know our whole gang.”

“And Alice.” Steve offered. Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“And I’m close with Alice. That’s it.” The short blonde man sighed and pocketed his phone.

“Well too late. I already invited everyone. And I ordered six pizzas.” Bucky sighed in defeat.

“Whatever. But I’m keeping all the leftovers.” Clint frowned but nodded in agreement.

 

The pizzas arrived before his guests did and he was glad to scarf down a few slices of pepperoni before dealing with people he barely knew. He was working on his second piece when Steve plopped down on the couch next to him.

“I thought you were Jewish?” Bucky stared at him confused and he swallowed his bite.

“I am.” Steve frowned.

“Pepperoni is pork.” Bucky stared down at the half eaten slice in his hand and shrugged.

“Well, I’m technically only half-Jewish.” Steve laughed and he continued munching on his food.

Sam showed up five minutes after the pizza did and Natasha was two minutes behind him. Over the next twenty minutes people settled in, grabbing slices of pizza and jumping into conversations. Alice was the last to arrive, two 24 packs of beer cradled in her arms."

The whole group grabbed beer except for Tony who was grumbling something about cheap alcohol and a sensitive palette. Clint had produced a Bluetooth speaker and was blasting EDM music.

“Clint listens to EDM?” Bucky asked surprised. Steve nodded and took a sip of his beer.

“Clint is a strange little guy. He’s full of surprises.” Clint flipped Steve off from across the room and he chuckled.

“How the hell did he hear you over this loud ass music?”

“He can read lips.” Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“People actually do that?” Steve nodded.

“He’s mostly deaf so it comes in handy when he doesn’t have his hearing aids.”

Bucky watched the small group of people socialize amongst each other and he wasn’t sure if he should’ve been relieved or offended that nobody seemed to be paying attention to him. Steve was keeping him engaged in conversation but he still felt a little bit upset that nobody was willing to actually speak to him.

“Bucky, are you okay?” He looked over at Steve and nodded. Steve frowned.

“Then what was I saying?” Bucky grimaced and looked down at his drink.

“Sorry, man. My head’s in other places tonight.”

“It’s ok. Do you want to talk about it?” He paused before shaking his head.

“Honestly? I just want everyone to get out of my damn apartment.” Hurt crossed Steve’s face before flashing a fake smile.

“Then kick everyone out.” Bucky shook his head.

“It’s fine. Everyone’s having a good time. I’ll just head to bed.” He stood and wobbled slightly. Steve stood immediately and braced him. Bucky gave him a thankful smile which quickly faded when he saw the odd look Natasha was giving him.

“You only had one beer dude.”

“It’s not the beer’s fault. My equilibrium has been off since I lost my arm.” Steve blushed from embarrassment and Bucky laughed.

“You didn’t know. It’s fine. I’ll see you later. Please lock the door on your way out.” Steve nodded and Bucky headed down the hallway to his room.

Steve and Clint stayed behind to clean up. Luckily their friends weren’t slobs and there wasn’t much to do besides dump out empty beer cans and stack the pizza boxes in the fridge.

After they finished cleaning, Steve headed back to his own apartment with Clint close on his heels. The older man was mumbling something about not wanting to go all the way back home to Paramus. Steve guided the slightly drunk man to his sofa where he fell face first into the cushions, asleep on impact. 

Steve headed to his own room, his eyelids heavy from the five beers he’d drank. He wasn’t drunk but he was tipsy and he felt a bit dizzy. When he entered his room, he rushed forward to collapse on his bed. He was vaguely aware of the fact that he was still wearing his shoes but he was too tired to care. He absentmindedly kicked them off and slipped under his blanket, still fully dressed.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CRASH!

Steve shot out if his bed, eyes and ears alert to the loud noises outside his apartment. He glanced at his clock and frowned. It was past six in the morning and he wondered if Clint was still drunk and trying to wander outside the apartment. 

He left his room and silently crept into the living room. Clint was still passed out face first on the sofa except now his leg was hanging off the side. Steve rolled his eyes and snuck across the living room to peek on Sam’s room. The older man was spread out across his bed, snoring logs.

“Fuck!” He heard a shout from the hallway and he walked over to open his front door. Bucky was standing outside his own apartment staring at his phone.

“Bucky?” Steve asked hoarsely. Bucky looked up and frowned.

“Did I wake you?” Steve nodded and Bucky groaned.

“Sorry. I'm just dealing with this bitch.” He looked back at his phone and Steve stepped into the hallway, pulling his door shut behind him.

“Is everything alright?”

“Do you know Liz in 2B?” Steve shook his head.

“Well she's been calling me down to her place over and over for the past two weeks. I'm talking three or four times a week. And it's always something different. First, her sink was busted. Then her TV was whacked out. Fixing TVs isn't in my job description.”

“So what's the problem? Don't you get paid every time she calls?”

“I don't want to get paid if she's manhandling me. She doesn't know what ‘no’ means.”

“What the hell happened?” Bucky sighed and pocketed his cell.

“She flirted with me the first few times I went to her place. Then she started touching my arm and then grabbing my ass or grabbing my junk! I don't know what the hell her problem is. I've told her I'm not interested.”

“Then tell her that if she continues to grope you, you won't be answering her calls.” Bucky shook his head.

“No, I'll just deal with it.”

“You shouldn't have to “just deal with it”. That's sexual harassment.” Bucky sighed and leaned down to pick up his toolbox. 

“It's fine, Steve. I've dealt with this kind of shit before. I'll get over it. I'm sorry I woke you up.” He walked down the hallway and disappeared down the stairwell.  
\------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky knocked on Liz’s door and waited for her to answer. He was grinding his teeth and wondering if she would be answering the door in a skimpy nightgown like the last time. The door swung open and Liz was standing in front of him with a fake apologetic smile on her face. She was sweatpants and a t-shirt this time and he quickly said a prayer of thanks.

“What's wrong this time?”

“My bedroom door fell off of the hinges and practically crushed me. I need to get to the gym but I don't want to leave the door like this.” He nodded and motioned for her to lead him to her bedroom.

Sure enough, her bedroom door was hanging off of its hinges by a single screw. It was leaning at an awkward angle and he scowled. 

“I'm gonna need to undo that last screw so I can get it into an upright position. Can you crawl under the door and hold it up for me?” She nodded and slid under the door and lifted it up. 

With Liz’s help, he finished the door in 15 minutes and he sighed in relief. He was usually stuck in her apartment for over an hour. 15 minutes was a blessing.

“So James, I was wondering if you were busy tonight? Maybe you and I can grab dinner and head back here for a nightcap.”

“I'm not busy but I'm not interested. I've told you this already.”

“I know but I was hoping that you'd changed your mind.” He shook his head.

“I haven't.” She crossed her arms and scowled.

“Am I ugly to you? Is that the problem?” He frowned. 

“You're not ugly. You're just not my type. And you're very pushy. It's unattractive.” Her frown deepened and she squinted at him. 

“OK so I'm a little pushy.”

“A lot pushy.” Bucky mumbled. 

“But what makes me not your type? Do you not like blondes? Are my boobs not big enough?” He chuckled and picked up his toolbox. 

“I love blondes, brunettes, redheads, basically any hair color. Or eye color. Or skin color or race. I'm not picky when it comes to looks. And it's not that your boobs are too small. The problem is that you have boobs.” She stared at him confused and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You still don't get it?” She shook her head and he sighed. 

“I'm gay. I like guys. Men, dudes, males, זָכָר. Now do you get it?” She stared at him with wide eyes before she buried her face in her hands.

“I feel like such a moron! Why didn't you tell me in the first place?” 

“Your flirting and groping didn't make me want to talk to you much.” She groaned and sat down on her bed.

“I'm sorry. I'm such a slut.”

“You're not a slut. But maybe you should try talking to guys instead of smacking their asses.” She nodded and stood.

“I'll let you out. And again, I'm so freaking sorry. I feel awful.”

“I accept your apology. But don't do that anymore. It's shitty.”

After leaving Liz’s apartment, he began the two story trek up to his apartment. He was dead tired on his feet and he just wanted to sleep until February. When he finally reached his apartment though, Steve was sitting on the floor outside Bucky’s place, his eyes glued to the notebook in front of him. 

“Are you stalking me or something?” Steve glanced up and his reading glasses slid down his nose.

“Um...not exactly. I couldn't get back to sleep and then Nat came over and it's literal hell in my apartment right now. So I thought I'd catch up on my art.” Bucky nodded and walked around Steve to open his front door.

“Do you think you might be more comfortable on my couch?” Steve stood and pushed his glasses up his nose.

“Are you sure? I don't want to impose.” Bucky shook his head.

“As long as you don't make too much noise, I don't care. I'll be asleep in my room anyways.” Steve nodded and followed Bucky into his apartment. 

The apartment was freezing and Steve breathed out a visible puff of air. He shivered and Bucky turned to look at him with a frown.

“Sorry. I don't turn the heat on. 8 years in Afghanistan kinda made me hate heat.”

“It's fine. It's just colder than I expected.”

“If you want to leave, I won't be offended.” Steve waved him off.

“It's fine. I'm not gonna make you uncomfortable in your own place.” Bucky bit his lip before crossing the room to the thermostat. He fiddled with the buttons before groaning. 

“How the hell do you work this thing? They weren't this...digital when I left.” Steve chuckled and crossed the room to stand next to him. 

“What do you want it at?”

“70 is alright.” Steve turned on the heat and set the temperature. 

“And if you get cold, just wear this.” Bucky handed him the hoodie he'd slung over the hook by the front door.

“Will it fit me?”

“Well it's an XXL, so I hope so.” He cracked a smile and Steve grinned.

“Thanks.” Bucky nodded and disappeared into his bedroom.  
\---------------------------------------------------------

Steve waited until he heard Bucky's bedroom door closed before he pulled the hoodie over his head. It hung on his frame like a tent and he smiled. He couldn't remember the last time he wore clothing that was too big on him. He grabbed his sketchbook off of the kitchen counter and plopped down on the ugly checkered sofa.

He tried to focus on finishing his sketch from before but his mind was in a bit of a blur. He was still sleepy and being wrapped up in Bucky’s fantastic smelling hoodie on his couch that smelled of his cologne and cigarette smoke was amazing. He bit his lip before flipping to an empty page in his sketchbook.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He wasn't sure how long he sat on Bucky's sofa but he was surprised when the brunet emerged from his bedroom in a loose sweater and boxers. He looked surprised to see Steve still on his sofa but just shrugged and made his way to his fridge.

“Do you know what time it is?” Bucky asked, pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

“10?” Bucky snorted and took a sip of his drink.

“What?” Steve asked.

“It's after one.” Steve frowned and closed his sketchbook. 

“Crap, I'm sorry. I should have left hours ago.” He leaned down to grab his slippers. Bucky put down his drink and crossed the room to stop him.

“Calm down. Do you have anywhere important to be?” Steve shook his head.

“Then stay. I'm making grilled cheese for lunch. Or I'm gonna try to.”

“Are we making soup too?” Bucky smiled at Steve saying “we” and shrugged. 

“All I've got is bread and cheese. I haven't gone grocery shopping yet.” Steve grinned and slipped his feet into his slippers.

“Then let's go to the corner store and pick up some stuff. Pick up everything we need for lunch and get you some actual groceries.” Bucky groaned and put his juice back in the fridge.

“But that means I have to get dressed.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“Just put on some sweatpants.” Bucky headed towards his room. “And don't forget a jacket.” He waved Steve off and entered his bedroom.  
\------------------------------------------------------------

Five minutes later, the two men were standing in the deli around the corner from their apartment building. Steve was browsing the bread choices and reading the ingredients on every label.

“Why isn't white bread and cheddar cheese good enough?” Bucky grumbled.

“Because it's awful for your body and palate.” He picked up a loaf that was dark brown and smiled.

“This is perfect.” Bucky grimaced. 

“What is it?” Steve looked at him and chuckled. 

“Don't look so disgusted. It's a 12 grain loaf. It's delicious and very healthy. Now we just need cheese, bacon, cream, and parsley.”

“I thought we were making sandwiches.”

“I right maybe we could have a big lunch. Unless you're not interested.” Steve looked down put and moved to put the bread back. 

“I'd love a big lunch. I haven't had a good meal in forever.” 

_Plus, how could I say no to that face_?

Steve grinned and handed Bucky the bread.

“Good. Now let's get some red Leicester.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky sat on the stool in his kitchen and watched Steve flurry around, trying to do a million things. Bucky had offered to help but he'd been turned away and ordered to sit down and watch.

“See? This is the perfect consistency for soup.” Steve held out a spoonful of the baked potato soup he'd been stirring. Bucky tasted the soup and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. 

“Wow that's delicious. It smells like armpit but it tastes great.” Steve rolled his eyes and turned back to the stove. Bucky cocked his head and leaned over the counter a bit to check out Steve’s ass. He bit his lip and quickly sat back down before Steve turned around with two bowls of soup.

He slid one across the counter to Bucky and handed him a spoon. He immediately dug in and closed his eyes. Steve walked around the counter with the plate that was piled up with grilled cheese.

“Dude, you should be a chef. Not an art teacher.” 

“Well my heart lies with art. Not cooking. Although cooking is another passion of mine.” Steve put the plate with the sandwiches on the island in front of them and Bucky grabbed one.

“What got you interested in art?” Bucky asked around a mouthful of food.

“My mom did. I loved coloring when I was really young. I remember one time, I drew a tiger on my bedroom wall with my mom’s fountain pen. Instead of scolding me though, she got me a ton of art supplies.” Steve smiled fondly.

“You're lucky you had a parent they encouraged you.” Bucky looked down at his food and frowned. 

“Were your parents not supportive?” Bucky snorted.

“My parents were an absolute fucking nightmare.”

“I'm sorry.” They were silent for a few moments before Bucky looked at Steve and the corner of his mouth turned up.  
“I didn't know that you wear glasses?” Steve smiled and pulled his glasses out of his pocket.

“I have an astigmatism. Just one of my many health problems.” Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“You can't have that many.” Steve snorted and shook his head.

“Dude my list is like a mile long. I've got hypoglycemia, arrhythmia, asthma, I'm colorblind, I'm 40% deaf in my left ear, and I had scarlet fever as a kid. I'm honestly surprised I made it past 10.” Bucky grimaced. 

“Wait, you're colorblind and you're and artist? How does that work?” 

“Well I have a reduced sensitivity to light which means it's more difficult for me to distinguish between shades of red, green, orange, and brown. I get blue and purple mixed up sometimes too.” He leaned closer to Bucky and stared deeply into his eyes.

“I can tell you that you had the most gorgeous blue eyes I've ever seen. They look like pools of ice. You're the kind of model artists would fight over to paint.” Bucky licked his lips and shook his head.

“I'm not good looking enough to pose for anyone.” Steve scoffed.

“You're joking right? You're gor-” Steve was cut off by all of the power in the room going out. 

“That's not good.” Bucky mumbled before standing from his seat. He crossed the room to look out the window and he groaned. He could barely see out the window because of the white flurries whipping through the air.

“Is it another blizzard?” He nodded and ran his hand through his hair. 

“I've got to go down to the basement. Check the breaker and make sure it's not fried. Then I've got to get the generators started up.” He walked over to the front door and sat down on the floor. He pulled his boots out from the bench by the door and slipped them on his feet.

“Why don't you just wear your slippers?” Bucky shook his head.

“My boots have rubber soles. Slippers don't. I would like to be grounded in case I'm electrocuted.” He continued struggling with his shoelaces before groaning and kicking the wall. Steve crouched in front of him and put his hands on his knees. 

“Need help?” He shook his head.

“No. I'm not a toddler. I can tie my damn shoes!” He was almost shouting and Steve could see how frustrated he was.

“Buck,” Steve said calmly, “There's no harm in asking for help. It's going to take a while before you're used to doing things one handed. So can I help?” Bucky looked at Steve.

“Yeah I guess.” Steve smiled softly and motioned for him to put his foot on Steve’s knee. He complied and Steve quickly laced his boot up. He followed suit with the other and pulled Bucky to his feet.

“Thanks. You can stay here and finish eating if you want. I'll probably be a while.” He crossed the kitchen to pull his toolbox out from under threat kitchen sink.

“Do you want me to save your food?” Steve asked. Bucky nodded and disappeared around the corner. Steve heard the door open and close and he sighed.  
\------------------------------------------------------------

Steve entered his apartment to see Sam wrapped up in a quilt on the couch. His laptop was balanced on his knees and Steve could hear explosions coming from his headphones.

“What are you watching?” Sam looked up from the screen.

“The Expendables.” Steve nodded and crossed the room to sit on the couch next to him. Without looking away from the screen, Sam took out one of his ear buds and handed it to Steve. He placed it in his ear and curled up next to Sam to steal his body heat.

“If you're cold, just climb under the blanket.” Sam lifted the edge of the blanket and Steve pulled it over him.

They sat in comfortable silence watching the movie. Steve had his head on Sam’s shoulder and his friend had rested his cheek on Steve’s head. 

The one thing Steve had always loved about their friendship was how comfortable they were with each other. There was no awkwardness after their breakup. They'd always been comfortable and content around each other. 

“So where were you all day?” Sam asked when the credits started rolling.

“Why do you care? You're not my mom.” Sam gave him a stern look and raised an eyebrow.

“I was at Bucky's.”

“Really? All day?” Steve rolled his eyes.  
“Yes all day. I sat on his couch and sketched all day. And then we had lunch.”

“So kinda like a date?”

“Shut up.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky had his arm elbow deep in a generator when Alice showed up with a thermos in her hands. He was covered in grease and he'd managed to lose his shirt. He had a grease rag in between his teeth and he looked up briefly when she entered the room.

“Any luck yet?” He shook his head and pulled his arm out. He wiped his hand on the grease rag and threw it over his shoulder.

“You could've invested in some new generators with that insurance money, you know? I'm gonna be here until midnight at this rate.” She grimaced and poured some of the thermos contents into a cup. She passed it to him and he took a sip. He gagged and she grinned. 

“Is this hot chocolate with vodka in it?” 

“It'll warm you up. And maybe make you less crotchety.” He handed her the cup back. 

“I'm always crotchety.” He stuck his arm back into the generator and focused on fixing the old thing. 

He heard a clunk and quickly pulled his arm back out. Alice raised an eyebrow and he braced his foot against the machine as he yanked the pull cord. There was a pop and some black smoke puttered out before the machine roared to life.

“Woohoo!” Alice cheered. She held up a hand for a high five and Bucky grinned before slapping her hand. 

“Is that the only one you had trouble with?” He nodded and picked up his discarded shirt.

“The others went on with a little prodding but this motherfucker…” He said, giving the machine an evil look.

“Well now that we've got power again, come to my place. I'm making dinner soon.” He smiled and shook his head.

“I'd love to but I need a shower. Besides, I've got a home cooked meal sitting at home.” She raised an eyebrow and put her hand on her hip.

“Home cooked? You burn water. Who cooked?” 

“You'll never believe it. Julia Child’s ghost appeared and made souffle.” He said sarcastically. 

“Fuck off.” He chuckled and she handed him the thermos.

“Take the hot chocolate and go eat your food, traitor.” He placed a quick kiss on her cheek before picking up his toolbox and heading towards the elevator.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Bucky got back to his place, he wasn't surprised to see Steve had left, leaving a note on the fridge telling him the soup was keeping warm on the stove. He ladled extra soup onto his cold bowl of soup and stuck it in the microwave. The sandwiches were still pretty good cold so he munched on one while his soup heated.

After finishing his food and cleaning everything up, he sat down on his couch and pulled his phone out. He debated pulling up some porn on his phone before settling on finishing season 3 of Game of Thrones. He wasn't even used to tying his shoes yet, so he knew jerking off would be next to impossible.

He watched Game of Thrones for a few hours before his phone died. He stared at the black screen for a few seconds before sitting up and heading to his room to plug it in. The charger was on the floor next to his bed and he plugged his phone in before laying on his uncomfortable air mattress.

“Fuck, I'm bored.” He said out loud. His voice echoed in the empty room and he sighed heavily.

“Bucky?” He sat up and immediately opened his door.

Clint was standing in the middle of his living room with a lost look on his face and his arms crossed. Bucky left his room and cleared his throat.

“Did I forget to lock my door?” Clint nodded. 

“I wouldn't have barged in like this but I lost one of my aids and it's not at Steve’s place. And I don't remember much from last night.”

“Oh. Do you need help looking?” Clint shrugged.

“If you don't mind.”

They scoured Bucky's living room and kitchen for several minutes. There weren't many places it could be but that didn't stop them from searching in every nook and crevice. Bucky finally found it in one of the pizza boxes in the fridge. Clint wiped it off on his shirt and frowned.

“Oh man, I hope the grease didn't fuck it up.” He stuck it in his pocket and offered his hand to Bucky. 

“Thanks, man. And again, sorry for breaking in.” Bucky shook his head and shrugged.

“I'll let it pass this time.” Clint smirked and headed towards the door.

“Oh I forgot to ask, are you going to Nat’s birthday party next month?” 

“I don't think Natasha would want to extend an invitation to me. We don't get along.” Clint frowned.

“She'll warm up to you eventually. She got a rough exterior.” 

“If you say so.” He led Clint to the door and opened it. 

“Well, I'll see you later. And if you need some help moving new furniture in, I'll gladly help.”

“Well you complained about the couches.”

“Yeah but you don't plan on getting any new big furniture right?” 

“I'm buying a mattress and bed frame soon.” Clint frowned.

“Crap.” Bucky chuckled.

“I'm having them delivered. Don't worry.” Clint sighed with relief and Bucky smiled. 

“Oh thank God. I don't think I could get a mattress up four flights of stairs.”

“Well, I'm glad you found your aid. See you later Clint.” The short man rushed out of his apartment, mumbling something about needing to make sure his car hadn't been towed.

Bucky moved to close the door when Sam poked his head out of his apartment. 

“Oh hey Bucky. I've been meaning to ask you something.” 

“What?”

“Are you interested in going to the VA with me on Tuesday? That's when we have group therapy. I thought you might be interested. You don't have to talk either. You can just sit in the back and sulk.” Bucky clenched his jaw.

“No offense, Sam but I don't need therapy. I'm fine.” Sam pursed his lips and nodded. 

“Sure. Let me know if you change your mind though.” He nodded and closed his door.

Sam was being nice. He offered and Bucky appreciated that he cared enough to ask. But he was fine. He wasn't depressed, he didn't have anxiety. He'd always been outgoing for as long as he remembered. And the only time he felt nervous was when he went in for his physical when he enlisted. He definitely didn't have PTSD. Only weaklings had PTSD and he wasn't weak.  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
**Two Weeks Later**

Steve was sitting at his desk, nursing an espresso, when the bell rang. He groaned but got up to unlock his classroom door. He knew students would be pouring in soon and he hated when they lined up down the hallway.

After unlocking the door he went back to his desk. He picked up his mug and took another sip. A minute later, a few students trickled into the classroom talking loudly to one another. The hands on the clock ticked by slowly and he knew it was going to be a long day.

“Hey Steve.” He looked up to see Sharon Carter, his ex-girlfriend and co-worker poking her head into the room.

“Yeah?” She motioned him over and he laid his mug down.

He followed her out into the hallway and noticed that she looked nervous. Her arms were crossed and she was sweating slightly. 

“Is something wrong? Are you ok? Is Peg ok?” She nodded.

“Aunt Peggy and I are fine. It's Adam.” He frowned.

Adam was probably his favorite student. The boy reminded him of himself when he was 15. The kid was shy and mild mannered and mostly kept to himself. But he had a passion for his artwork. He knew he was picked on and always did his job as an administrator to report it but it didn't stop it from happening outside of school.

“What's wrong? Is he ok?” 

“He got jumped before school this morning by Julius Byers. He's in the hospital right now. But the cops can't find Julius. They think he's headed to school now. And he has a knife.” Steve gasped and covered his mouth.

“Aren't they dating? Why the hell would he do that? Is the school going on lockdown?” She shrugged.

“Principal Fury hasn't said otherwise. But keep an eye out for them. We can't have any more students get hurt.” He nodded and gave her a quick hug before returning to his classroom.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve wasn't sure what he what hearing at first. It sounded like a cat howling before he realized it was someone screaming. He jumped up from his desk and rushed over to the door. 

Kids were running down the hallway and he was almost trampled. He pushed his way past the kids towards what they were running from. He could see a girl laying on the ground and Julius was standing over her, a pocket knife in his hand and a dark look on his face. Steve quickly recognized the girl as Julius’ best friend and partner in crime, Crystal.

“Julius!” He looked up and glared at Steve.

“Stay back, Rogers or I'll get you too.” His voice wavered and his hand shook. Steve walked towards him slowly with his hands up.

“Julius, just drop the knife. You don't have to do this.”

“Shut up! You don't what my life is like! Crystal and Adam were sleeping together! MY BEST FRIEND SLEPT WITH MY BOYFRIEND!” Steve frowned and stepped closer. He could see Sharon further down the hallway with a fire extinguisher in her hands. He gave her a look and she nodded.

“That's awful. How'd you find out?” Julius exhaled shakily and lowered the knife slowly.

“I didn't find out. The voice told me.”

“What voice?” 

“The woman in my head. She said so. And I believe her. I think.”

“So you're not even sure?” Julius face fell and he burst into tears.

“Oh God. What'd I do?” Steve got close enough to him to try to grab the knife but Julius instinctively brought the knife up. Steve felt it connect with his abdomen but he ignored the searing pain to knock the knife out of Julius’ hand. 

“I'm so sorry!” He collapsed to the ground and Steve went down with him, pulling the boy into his arms. 

There were feet padding down the hallway and he looked up to see an officer approaching him. The cop pushed Steve out of the way and quickly snapped a pair of handcuffs on Julius’ wrists. He towed the boy away while reading him his Miranda rights. Steve immediately checked Crystal out. She hadn't been stabbed but her nose was bleeding and her eye was black.

A bunch of EMT’s came rushing down the hallway. They crouched next to Crystal while one of them pulled Steve away to check out his side. 

“Sir, can you please remove your shirt.” Steve nodded and numbly pulled his shirt over his head. 

“We need to get you to a hospital.” The EMT said, taping gauze over the wound. He nodded and moved to pick his shirt up.

“Sir, we need you to lay on the stretcher. We can't have you walking.” Sharon came running down the hallway. She picked up Steve's shirt and handed it to him. 

“I'll grab your things.” She rushed into his office and the EMT moved him towards one of the stretchers they'd brought it. She rushed back out with his messenger bag and his phone.

She walked alongside the stretcher with his things in hand. When the got outside, Steve shivered at the cold air that hit him. There were cop cars and ambulances everywhere. He could hear people crying but he didn't see much before he was put into the ambulance.

“I'm sorry ma’am but you can't come with.” The EMT held out a hand, stopping Sharon from boarding. She frowned but handed the man Steve’s things. 

“I'll call Sam and tell him to meet you at the ER, ok?” Steve nodded and watched her face fall as the doors were closed in her face.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Steve!” Steve looked up from his phone to see Sam rush into his hospital room. His friend rushed to his side and gave him a quick hug. Steve winced and Sam pulled away with a frown.

“I'm sorry.” Steve waved him off.

“I'm fine. ‘ _Tis but a scratch_.” Sam rolled his eyes and sat in the chair next to him. 

“What the hell happened? I was chilling at home when Sharon calls and says you got shanked.”

“I wasn't shanked. I was stabbed. There's a difference.” Sam gave him an annoyed look. 

“A student showed up with a knife. He attacked two other students and when I tried to talk him down, he stabbed me.” Sam clenched his jaw.

“That little shit. I'm gonna kill him.” Steve patted Sam's hand.

“I appreciate the sentiment but I'm not angry with him. He's a troubled kid. I just hope he gets the help he so desperately needs.” 

“You're too nice.” Steve smiled.

“I know.”

“Hey, hot stuff.” Clint entered the room, a teddy bear tucked under one arm and a balloon in the other with Natasha and Bruce following behind him. 

“Guys I'm not dying. This is unnecessary.” Bruce smiled.

“Well you're our friend and you _were_ just stabbed. So please take the presents.” Steve nodded and reached out for the gifts. Clint handed him the bear and tied the balloon to the foot of his bed.

“How're you feeling?” Bruce asked.

“Better than ever.” Natasha gave him a dirty look and he shrunk into his bed.

“Well at least you'll have a cool story to tell.” Clint offered.

“Tony isn't going to be happy though. He's always wanted to tell a story like that.” Bruce piped up. Clint draped an arm around the older man’s shoulders.

“You can tell your bestie that he can suck it.” Bruce ducked out from under Clint’s arm and wrinkled his nose.

“Your armpits stink.” Clint dove towards him and Bruce ran out of the room, Clint on his heels.

“They're idiots.” Natasha said fondly. 

She sat in the small wooden chair on the other side of him and smiled.

“So what's the damage?” 

“The blade wasn't long enough to actually do any damage. But the cut is deep enough that I have to stay overnight for observation.”

“Well you're lucky. It could have been worse. Our whole little group would have fallen apart if something happened to our baby.” She kissed his cheek and he rolled his eyes but blushed anyways. 

“HE'S GONNA KILL ME!” Bruce yelled as he ran past the room. 

“Boys!” Natasha barked, storming out of the room.  
\------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky was laying on his couch when someone knocked on his door. He hadn't left his apartment in almost three weeks and he frowned when he heard the knock. He groaned and sat up, mumbling to himself the whole time.

When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Natasha standing there, her arms crossed.

“Romanov? What do you want?”

“I heard from Barton that he invited you to my birthday party.” 

“I won't go.” She relaxed a bit.

“I'm not telling you're not welcome. I'm asking you to avoid Steve while you're there.” He frowned.

“Why? What is your problem?”

“Because I know you're sick. I can tell. You've got the same darkness in your eyes that I had when I came home. It's the same look Clint had for 6 years. The same look Sam has. And I'm not going to jeopardize my friends safety because of your PTSD.” 

“I don't have PTSD!” He said, almost shouting.

She stepped closer to him and jabbed a finger in his face.

“I can see your broken pieces, Barnes. And I'll be damned before I let you near Steve until you've glued yourself back together.” She stomped off and he bored holes into the back if her head as she walked away.

He heard a lock click and Sam poked his head out into the hallway. He saw Natasha turn the corner towards the stairs and gave Bucky a questioning look.

“Long story.” He nodded.

“Did she tell you about Steve?” He cocked his head.

“What about Steve?” Sam raised his brow.

“Oh shit. You didn't hear? Steve got stabbed.” 

“What?! Is he ok?” Sam nodded.

“He's at work right now. He texted me at lunch and said students keep bringing him gifts and stuff. And there were reporters calling the school to talk to the “hero.” Steve isn't very happy about being called a hero.” Bucky bit his lip and nodded.

“I understand. It sucks.” Sam nodded.

“Amen.” He said with a half smile.

“So I guess I'll see you at Natasha’s party?” Sam nodded.

“It's gonna be awesome. See you man!” He closed the door and Bucky closed his own door.

A party.

Another fucking party.

 

Great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those that don't speak Hebrew, "זָכָר" means male
> 
> I had to ask my younger sister for the translation because she is Jewish and speaks it fluently and all I can say is Shalom lol


	3. February

**_Feb. 17th, 2017. 8:57 PM. Location: Natasha Romanov’s penthouse apartment_**  
\------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky stood in the corner of Natasha living room, a glass of whiskey in his hand and a frown on his face. She had several guests over and everybody was dressed very formal. He suddenly felt underdressed and he shifted in his clothes.

Natasha looked stunning when she'd opened the door. She wore a small red gown that hugged every curve on her body and simple string of pearls around her neck. She'd piled her curls up on top of her head and her makeup was impeccable. She looked like a supermodel.

He was surprised when she'd greeted him with a genuine smile. That or she was good at acting like she was happy to see him. Either way she'd given him a quick hug and thanked him for coming.

Sam and Steve were the only two who hadn't arrived yet. He knew they were home because he'd seen them earlier that afternoon bringing in groceries. But they were still AWOL.

Clint and Bruce had talked to him for a while but it became pretty obvious a few minutes in that they were only listening to each other. He knew it wasn't because they found him boring either. It was because they were both making puppy dog eyes when the other wasn't looking. He eventually excused himself to go get a drink.

 

Which was how he ended up in the corner, nursing his second drink. He watched Natasha kiss Pepper’s cheek before making her way over to him. 

“James, why are you sulking in the corner? Go interact.” He took a sip of his drink.

“No thanks. I've had enough socializing for tonight.” She rolled her eyes.

“Well, I'm glad you came. Socializing and making friends helps veteran overcome…” She trailed off when she saw the look her gave her. “Nevermind.”

“Nat!” They both turned to see Sam walking over, a small present in his hand. Steve was closing the front door.

“Sam.” She greeted him with a soft kiss and smiled when he handed her the box.

“Happy 30th, baby.” She blushed and opened the box. Bucky couldn't see what it was but judging by the way she hugged Sam, he'd done a good job.

“Hey Buck!” Steve said. He waved and Bucky gave him a curt nod.

“Hi. How're you? Still healing?” He shrugged.

“It's still tender but it's healing pretty well. How've you been? I haven't sent you in a while.” He shrugged.

“Same as ever.”

“Brooding and standoffish?” Bucky rolled his eyes but smiled anyways. Natasha was standing a few feet behind Steve and she gave Bucky a look before nodding. 

“So? What's it like to be stabbed?”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve and Bucky talked for well over an hour before Clint jumped up on the coffee table and tapped a knife on his glass. Someone turned down the music and everyone turned to look at him.

“I'd like to propose a toast. To Natasha. The best friend I've ever had. You once told me when you were 13 that you never thought you'd amount to anything. You thought you'd just be that punk Russian exchange student who'd get shipped back and you'd end up working a dead end job for the rest of your life. But look at you. A private military contractor who owns a penthouse apartment and two BMW’s. And you're making seven figures. I mean...holy shit!” People chuckled and Natasha rolled her eyes.

“But seriously, I'm proud of you little sis. Happy birthday.” She smiled brightly and raised her glass.

“Someone get some damn champagne!” Tony shouted from the back of the crowd. There was a ripple of laughter and Bruce came out of the kitchen, two bottles in hand.

He handed one to Natasha and she twisted the cork until there was a…

_**POP** _

Everything suddenly seemed to be moving one mile an hour. Bucky felt his glass slip out of his hand as the people around him cheered. He could you hear anything except for his own heartbeat and heavy breathing. He turned his head slightly to look at Steve who had placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“ **Bucky**?” His voice sounded far away and the last thing he saw before he blacked out was Steve reaching out to catch him.   
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_I'm telling you, Barnes. These jihads have got bombs everywhere. Under the sand, on their bodies, on their camels. It's ridiculous.” Dum Dum said, waving his arms around animatedly. Bucky just rolled his eyes._

_“Well that's just inaccurate. And extremely racist.” Monty piped up from the driver's seat._

_“I agree.” Gabe said._

_“Well what do you think, Sarge?” Bucky chuckled._

_“I think you're all a bunch of morons. But I agree with Monty. Super racist.” Dum Dum frowned._

_“You're just a bunch of liberals.”_

_“I'm a filthy liberal and I love it.” Gabe said with a mischievous grin._

_They drove for a few more minutes, joking as they went. The dry heat filled the jeep and and the desert sand kicked up as they drove. Dum Dum made a few more comments about filthy liberals before resigning to bitching quietly, knowing he was outnumbered._

_“Do you feel that?” Monty asked, his head cocked._

_And suddenly the jeep was upside down. The Jeep rolled onto the left side and the door caved in. He could feel the metal cut into his side and he hissed in pain. Then suddenly Bucky couldn't feel his arm and there was blood in his mouth. Dum Dum was unconscious next to him and Gabe and Morita were sitting across from them, moaning in pain._

_“Monty? You ok?” Bucky managed to choke out_

_“I'm alive. But my leg is pinned.” Monty responded, his voice barely louder than a whisper._

_“Morita, Jones? Can you hear me?” Morita moaned in pain and reached up to undo his seatbelt. He fell out of his seat and groaned when he hit the ceiling of the car._

_“Jones? Gabe?”_

_“Oh God. That hurt like hell. I think my ankle is broken.” Gabe finally moaned._

_“Holy shit! Barnes!” Morita said, shock in his voice._

_“What?”_

_“Oh no.” Gabe whispered. He undid his belt and crawled over to Bucky._

_“I think he's in shock.” Morita piped up._

_“Shock from what?” Gabe swallowed hard and undid Bucky’s seat belt._

_“Morita make a tourniquet. Now!”_

_“What the hell is going on?”_

_Suddenly a searing pain ripped through his left shoulder and arm and he glanced down. His arm was mangled and barely hanging onto his body. He screamed and felt a wave of nausea. Gabe managed to get the door open and he and Morita pulled him out._

_While Morita tied his arm up to stop the bleeding, Gabe went back in to pull out Dum Dum and Monty. All five of them were injured badly but Bucky had gotten the worst of it._

_“What happened?” Bucky asked through clenched teeth._

_“Mine under the sand.” Monty responded gravely._

_“I thought they cleared this area of IEDs and claymores?” Gabe asked._

_“Apparently they missed one.” Bucky could feel the nausea growing and he covered his mouth. Morita lifted him up slightly so he could turn his head and vomit in the sand._

_Dum Dum stirred and groaned as he sat up. He rubbed his head as he turned to look at the others who were crowded around Bucky._

_“Fuck!” Dum Dum exclaimed when he saw his arm._

_“Monty, call for help. Now.” Gabe ordered as he attended to Bucky._

_Bucky laid there numb as his squad flurried around him. He didn't move when the medic, Dernier arrived. He didn't move as he was transferred to the hospital. All he could think of was the horrible noise the jeep had made when the IED went off._

_That awful noise._  
\------------------------------------------------------------

Steve cheered as Bruce handed the bottle to Natasha. She grinned as she popped the top off. People cheered and Steve turned to look at Bucky. His glass was in pieces on the floor and he was staring ahead with a blank stare. He was breathing heavily and he turned to look a Steve, a terrified look on his face.

“Bucky?” 

He blinked slowly before he collapsed to the ground. Steve fell to his knees next to him and caught his head before it hit the ground.

“Help!” He yelled. The partygoers turned to look at him and Sam pushed his way through the crowd to quickly kneel next to Bucky. He pushed Steve’s hands away and pulled Bucky’s head into his lap.

“James, can you hear me?” People were mumbling and crowding around them.

“HEY! BACK OFF!” Natasha barked. People dispersed and she walked over to stand behind Steve. Clint walked up next to her and looked down at Bucky with a worried look on his face.

“It was the champagne wasn't it?” Clint asked quietly. Sam shrugged.

“It could have triggered him. I'm just glad he isn't violent. I've seen vets almost kill people when they black out like this.” 

“Is he gonna be ok?” Steve asked.

“I don't know.” Natasha answered softly. She placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder and squeezed it gently.

“I should have known not to bring champagne around him. I feel like such an idiot.” Clint smacked his forehead in frustration and Bruce came up behind him and patted his back.

“NO!” Bucky suddenly screamed. He thrashed a bit and Sam held his arm down and pulled him closer to him.

“Nat…” He started. She put a hand and shook her head.

“You don't have to ask. You can leave. I understand.” He nodded and motioned Clint over.

“Can I help?” Steve asked. Natasha smiled sadly.

“That's sweet but you don't know how to help.”

So instead Steve stood and watched Sam and Clint carry Bucky out of the apartment.   
\-----------------------------------------------

When Bucky came to, he was laying on his sofa, drenched in sweat with Sam sitting on the floor next to him. He felt like shit and he was shaking terribly. Sam was holding his hand and he had his head resting against the couch.

“Sam?” Bucky croaked. He wasn't sure why his throat was hoarse but it was difficult to speak. Sam looked up and seemed relieved to see Bucky awake.

“How do you feel? Are you ok?” Bucky moved to speak but all he did was stammer. He drew in a shaky breath before bursting into tears.

He climbed onto the sofa with Bucky and pulled him into his arms. Sam rubbed his back as he sobbed into his shoulder. His whole body was shaking but he just tightened his grip on Sam and cried more.

“I've got you. You're ok.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------

Steve was awoken by Sam at three in the morning. Well he wasn't really asleep but he was close to it. He'd heard the door slam and he quickly got out of bed to ask his friend what had happened.

When he'd gotten to the living room, he was surprised to see how upset Sam looked. He was sitting in the couch, eyes closed and he had his arms crossed.

“Sam?” He sat on the couch next to his friend who just groaned and moved closer to Steve to use him as a pillow. 

“Sorry ‘m back so late. Long night.” He patted Sam’s shoulder but quickly pulled his hand away when he realized it was wet.

“Why are you wet?”

“Tears.” Steve was confused before he realized that Sam's shirt was soaked with Bucky’s tears.

“Is he ok?” Sam sighed. 

“He will be. Eventually. Clint, Bruce, and I are gonna take shifts checking in on him until Tuesday.”

“Why Bruce? He's never been a combatant.” 

“Because Nat is busy and Bruce is a doctor with an IQ of 200 and he has a PHD in psychology. That's why.” 

“Oh ok. That makes sense.”

“Mmhm.” Sam mumbled before his shallow breathing turned into soft snoring.

Steve thought about putting him in bed and heading back to his own room. But Sam looked so exhausted and like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. So Steve resigned to being Sam’s living pillow for the night and adjusted his body so that the two of them were in a comfortable position.  
\------------------------------------------------------------

When Bucky woke up, he was covered with a blanket and he could smell food cooking. He sat up and realized he'd been moved from the sofa to his bed. He vaguely wondered how Sam had been able to move him by himself before standing up. He made his way to his kitchen where Clint was standing over the stove flipping pancakes.

“Clint?” He asked. The blonde turned to look at him and smiled.

“Morning. Want some?” He motioned towards the pancakes.

“Um...I guess.” He sat down and watched Clint add a pancake to the small pile he'd made. He handed the plate to Bucky and motioned to the jelly and syrup on the counter.

“I picked up some syrup and strawberry jelly. I've also got cherry compote if you want some.” Bucky stared at the food for a second before frowning.

“Why?” Clint raised an eyebrow.

“Why...what?”

“Why are you and Sam being so nice to me?” Clint grinned. 

“Because you're our friend. And because we both know what you're going through. Although you're less violent than I was when I was triggered.” Bucky lowered his head and Clint sighed.

“I hate this.”

“I can't think of anybody that likes PTSD.” Clint said.

“I have to see a shrink, don't I?” Clint nodded and Bucky laid his head on the counter.

“Sam and I are gonna bring you to group on Tuesday. And we're gonna get you a private session with one of the VA’s therapists. And you're not gonna bitch about it.”

“Ok.” Clint smiled.

“Good. Now eat your pancakes.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------

**_Tuesday Morning_**  
\-----------------------

Bucky was getting tired of having Clint and Sam in his apartment. They talked to him constantly and played shitty music and cooked all the time. Granted they were the ones buying the food but it was still annoying.

“Aren't you a college student? And don't you have a job?” He finally asked them one night while they were making dinner.

“I am in college. Where do you think I am when I'm not here?” Sam fired back.

“And I don't need a job, dude. I've got seven figures in my savings account.” Clint answered, his mouth full of food. Bucky had groaned and banged his head on the counter.

Bruce was a Godsend though. He was always writing in his notebook or he had his nose buried in a book. He was quiet and polite and made sure to stay out of Bucky’s way but still let him know he was there to talk to if he needed it. 

But now it was Tuesday and he had to go to the VA that afternoon. He wasn't looking forward to it but he knew he needed it. And that even if he changed his mind, Clint and Sam would drag him there kicking and screaming. 

“Hey Bucky?” Bucky looked over to see Bruce standing in his kitchen, brewing tea. He hadn't realized he'd been standing in the middle of his living room staring at nothing. 

“Yeah?”

“Want some?” He asked, gesturing to the tea kettle.

“Yeah. That sounds nice.”

Bruce brought him over a mug and sat down next to him on the couch. He sipped at his hot tea and stayed quiet as usual. Bucky sipped at his own tea and felt more calm than he had in days.

“Man, this tea is good. Is it relaxation tea? Because I'm feeling really calm.”

“No it's regular tea. I just put some cannabis in it.” Bucky choked on his tea and coughed up the liquid. Bruce patted his back and gave him a worried look.

“You put weed in the tea?!” Bruce shook his head.

“No, I put cannabis oil in it. The oil won't make you high. It'll just calm you down.” 

“Why do you have cannabis oil anyways?”

“It's a prescription. I have anxiety and anger issues. I'm surprised nobody told you. It's not a secret.” Bucky frowned.

“Steve did but I didn't think he was serious. You don't seem like the kind of guy who'd have anger issues.” Bruce smiled. 

“It's always the quiet ones.” Bucky wasn't sure how to respond to that so he just took another sip of his tea. It really was good tea.

The two of them sat and talked for a while. Bruce really was an interesting guy and once Bucky got him to start talking, he couldn't stop him. He was content just listening to him talk.

Eventually there was a knock on the door and Bucky sighed. Bruce placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder and smiled.

“You'll be fine.” Bucky took a deep breath and stood to let Sam in. 

Sam was dressed nicer than usual and he had a smile on his face. Clint was standing behind him, stuffing a donut in his mouth. 

“Hey. Ready?” Bucky sighed. 

“I guess.” 

“Hey guys!” Bruce greeted them, walking up behind Bucky. Clint stopped eating and quickly wiped his face off.

“Hey Bruce.” Sam and Bucky both looked at Clint who was suddenly nervous before looking at each other and raising their eyebrows.

“Ooh, donuts. Can I have one?” Bruce asked. Clint nodded and wiped his hand off on his pants before holding the box out to Bruce.

“Well we should go.” Sam piped up. Bucky nodded in agreement.

“You can leave when you want to. As long as you lock the door behind you.” Bucky said to Bruce. He nodded and took a bite of his donut.

“Got it. Good luck.” He closed the door and the three men headed towards the elevator. Sam waited until the doors closed before turning to look at Clint confused. 

“What was that?” Clint cocked his head.

“What?”

“Your weird stroke back there.” Bucky supplied. Clint’s eyes widened and he bit his lip.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. And stop eating all the donuts!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they arrived at the VA, Bucky was pleasantly surprised to see how nice the place was. The secretary had given them all a warm smile and after signing in, she gave Bucky some pamphlets. 

Sam led him down a hallway to a large room that was already filled with people. They were milling around and drinking coffee, chatting with other people.

“Sorry we're late, guys.” Sam started, heading towards a table along the back wall. “We had to pick up more donuts because Clint ate a ton of them and gave one away to his “friend”.” Sam said, using air quotes around the word friend. 

“What the hell is with the quotes?” A few people chuckled.

“You've gotta stop eating the snacks before you even drop them off, Barton.” One of the vets piped up. 

“Oh shut up, Jackson.” Clint responded.

“Ok, no fighting. We've got a session to start.” Sam said, moving towards the front of the room.

He sat in a chair in the front and motioned the others to sit down. Bucky tried to claim a seat next to Sam but a woman sat down on one side and an older black man took the seat on the other side. 

Bucky stood there awkwardly for a moment before looking for Clint. He was sitting on the left side of the room, his ass on one chair and his legs swung sideways so they were on the chair next to him. He motioned Bucky over and moved his legs so he could sit down.

Sam started the session a minute later and Bucky immediately knew why he wanted to be a therapist. He could see how much he liked interacting with the vets and the way he always knew what to say to make them feel better.

“Would anyone else like to share?” Sam asked, pointedly looking at Bucky. He shook his head and Sam sighed.

“I'll share.” Clint said, raising his hand slightly. 

“Ok. The floor is yours.” Sam said. 

“Sweet. The only reason I'm sharing today is because I want to show my friend that he's safe here. And that he won't be judged.” Bucky sighed.

“I enlisted when I was 18 and I was in the military from 18 until I was 32. I met my wife while I was overseas actually. She was volunteering with a relief group and I was head over heels immediately. You should have seen her. She made heads spin.” Bucky could hear the pain in his voice and he frowned deeply. 

“We got married after a year of dating and it was amazing. Every time I came home, she knew I was leaving pieces of myself behind but she loved me anyways. We ended up having two great kids and she was pregnant with our third when I was deployed again.” His voice started to shake and Bucky reached up to grab his hand and squeeze it. Clint smiled down at him and continued. 

“When I came back from from a mission, I had a message from my lieutenant. Laura was on her way to her parents place for dinner and she'd gotten into a wreck. Laura, my son Cooper, and our unborn son all died. My daughter Lila was in critical care and she died before I made it home.” He had tears streaming down his face and his voice wavered.

“I was supposed to retire after that tour but I did another year before I lost my hearing in explosion. So I went back to Paramus to a house that held nothing for me anymore. I sold it and got myself a small apartment.”

“So why are you sharing this with us?” Sam asked softly, nothing but sincerity in his voice. 

“Because even though it's been five years, I still blame myself. If I had just retired when my lieutenant offered, they'd probably still be alive.”

“It's not your fault.” Bucky piped up. People all looked at him and he swallowed hard.

“You were doing what you thought was right. It's not your fault.” Clint sat back down and squeezed Bucky’s hand once more before letting go. 

“Would you like to share?” Sam asked Bucky. 

“Not today but maybe next time.” Sam nodded and turned his attention back to the rest of the group.  
\------------------------------------------------------------

“I hope group is going well.” Steve said, lowering his brush. 

“He'll be fine. Now finish painting. I can't hold this position much longer.” Tony grumbled. 

“Why didn't you commission this portrait from one of the many artists you have at your beck and call?” Steve asked, bringing his brush back to the canvas.

“Because you're my best friend.” 

“Liar.” Tony chuckled.

“Ok so my second best friend.”

“We're all your second favorite after Bruce.” Tony rolled his eyes.

“Don't tell Pepper.” Steve laughed.

“I won't.”

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, the only sound the occasional bored moan from Tony. Eventually Steve gave him the go ahead to move.

“I hate posing for portraits.” Steve furrowed his brow.

“Then why do you keep commissioning them?” Tony smirked.

“Because I'm gorgeous.”

“Eh, you're a six out of 10 at best.” Tony gasped.

“Take it back, you bastard.” Steve just chuckled and put his brush in a mug filled with paint water.

“You want something to drink?”

“Have you got scotch?” Steve shook his head. 

“All I've got is coffee, orange juice, and half a bottle of vodka.” 

“Then make me a screwdriver.” Steve cocked his head.

“A what?” Tony sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Just show me where the orange juice and vodka are.” 

Tony followed Steve into the kitchen and sighed in relief when he pulled OJ out the fridge and a bottle of vodka out of the freezer. He quickly mixed the drink and wasted no time in chugging it down.

“If you're gonna chug it, just drink the vodka straight.” Tony shook his head.

“I'm trying to cut back.” Steve snorted.

“Good one!”

“I'm being serious. I'm an alcoholic. And Pepper gave me an ultimatum. Her or alcohol. So this is my last drink before I have to go to 12 steps.” Steve looked surprised.

“Good for you.” Tony shrugged.

“I'm gonna miss alcohol so much. It's been so good to me.” He said dramatically, clutching the vodka bottle to his chest.

“It probably hasn't been good to your liver.” Tony waved him off. 

“Liver, schmiver. Who gives a crap? We're all gonna die one day. As long as the run was good, who cares when you actually croak?” 

“I've never seen you get existential. It's freaking me out.” 

“I forgot to ask. Do you think you could give me Buckster’s number?” Steve raised an eyebrow and poured himself a glass of juice.

“Aren't you in a committed relationship?”

“I don't want his number for that! He's not my type anyways. I prefer blondes.”

“Why do you want his number?” 

“I wanted to discuss a prototype for a prosthetic arm. It's a very advanced piece of equipment and he's the only one armed guy I know. Well that's not true but the arm is a left arm.” Steve pulled his phone out and scrolled through his contacts. He pulled up Bucky’s contact name and read it off to Tony. 

Tony glanced over Steve’s shoulder as he was closing his contacts and he grinned.

“Why do you have a heart emoji next to his name?” Steve covered his phone screen and glared at Tony.

“Shut up.”

“Oh that's precious. You've got a crush on him.” Steve blushed and pocketed his phone.

“Just go home and tinker with your toys. I've got work to do.” Tony smirked and nodded.

“Ok. But I'm not letting this go, Rogers.”

“Yeah I figured.”


	4. March

_March_  
\---------------

“Oh hell no!” Bucky said, putting his hand up. 

“But look how cute he is?”

Alice was holding a small black kitten in her hands and was giving Bucky a pouty look. He shook his head and glared at his friend. She pulled the kitten close to her chest and kissed it on the head.

“Where'd you get a kitten from anyways?” 

“Mona Lisa was pregnant. He's the only one that popped out. He was born on January third.” He rolled his eyes.

“I don't want a stupid cat.” She sighed and nodded.

“Ok. I guess I'll take him to the vet in the morning then.” He cocked his head, curiosity getting the better of him.

“The vet?” She nodded again.

“Yeah. This little guy is deaf and he has a hernia. If I can't find him a home, I've got to euthanize him. It'll be cheaper than caring for him anyways.” Bucky frowned deeply.

“I'll take him.” She raised an eyebrow. 

“Are you sure?” He nodded and took the kitten from her. She smiled and patted his cheek.

“I knew that would work. You've always been a softie.” He opened his mouth to protest her swindling him but she just waved and took off down the hallway.

He groaned and kicked his door shut, making sure to keep the kitten an arms length away from him. He just glared at the ratty little thing for a few seconds before putting it on the ground. It looked up at him and meowed softly. He just curled his lip and stepped over the small creature.

“I can't believe she dumped a kitten on me. Now I've got to go get cat stuff for you. This is bullshit. You agree, right?” He turned to look at the kitten that was still just staring at him. He sighed.

“Oh yeah. Deaf.” He crouched in front of the kitten.

“What am I gonna call you though?” 

“ _Mew_.” 

There was a knock on his door and he groaned. It was Thursday. The day that Sam, and sometimes Clint, would drag him out to get fresh air and get used to being around loud noises and large groups of people.

He stood to answer his door and frowned when he saw Bruce had joined Sam and Clint. 

“Bruce? You never come with.” Bruce just shrugged.

“Clint invited me.” Bucky looked at Clint and smiled.

“How kind.” Clint stuck his tongue out at him.

He motioned for them to enter and Clint gasped when he got past Bucky. He ran across the room and fell to his knees to crouch in front of the kitten.

“He's so cute!” He picked the kitten up and snuggled it to his chest.

“When did you get a kitten?” Sam asked.

“About three minutes ago.” 

Clint was cooing over the kitten and rubbing his cheek against it.

“What's his name?” Bruce asked.

“I don't know. I just got him.”

“Why not Cutie? Or Crossbow?” Clint suggested. Bucky raised an eyebrow in shock.

“Well that escalated quickly.” Sam muttered.

“Do you know anything about him?” Bruce questioned.

“I know his mom is a fat calico named Mona Lisa.” 

“So why not call him Da Vinci?” Bucky nodded approvingly. 

“Da Vinci? I like that.” Clint grinned and kissed the kitten. 

“You're so cute Da Vinci!” 

“He can't hear you. He's deaf.” Clint’s jaw dropped.

“Oh my God. He's a perfect little angel.”

“Do you want him?”

“Of cou-”

“No. You're keeping him.” Sam interjected. Clint’s face fell.

“What?” Bucky asked, his voice going up an octave. 

“You heard me. This is the perfect opportunity for you both. You're both disabled trying to get used to the world around you. It's a learning experience. Plus, it'll help get in touch with your emotions better. It'll make it easier to form relationships too.” 

“As much as I love this kitten and I want to take it home with me and never put it down, Sam's right.” Clint declared.

“I agree.” Bruce piped up. 

“Fuck. Fine, I'll keep the thing.” Sam smiled and Bucky jabbed a finger in his face. “But you're going to the pet store with me. All of you.”

“This day just keeps getting better.” Clint whispered happily.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky walked up the cat food aisle, scanning the bags of food. Sam had insisted he get a brand that had meat as the first three ingredients. Which was proving difficult as almost every brand had corn meal as the first ingredient. 

“This is impossible.” He mumbled. Da Vinci was hanging his head out Bucky's hoodie pocket and he was sound asleep. He scratched the kitten's head before returning to reading labels.

“Bucky!” He turned to see Bruce and Clint walking towards him with their arms full. His jaw dropped and he stared at the two men for several seconds.

“What the hell is all that?”

“Litter pan, litter, litter scooper, flea medication, worm medication, some toys, a little shirt, a collar, and a bed.” Clint said, putting the bucket of litter down.

“Did you find any food yet?” He shook his head and turned back to the food.

“Why does meat have to be the first three ingredients? Why can't I just feed him corn meal and move on?”

“You're gonna put that poor cat in an early grave.” Sam declared, coming up the other side of the aisle with a bag of cat food in his arms.

“I'm gonna grab a cart.” Bruce said, heading towards the front of the store.

“Cats need meat. And corn is bad for them.”

“Ugh! This brat is too much work.” Clint gasped.

“He's not a brat. He's a perfect angel. Don't listen to him Da Vinci.” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Again, he's deaf!” Clint wrinkled his nose.

“Oh yeah.” 

Bruce came back up the aisle with a shopping cart and a large box in the cart. Clint piled the items in the cart while Bucky read the box.

“A cat stand? Really? He can barely walk. I doubt he'll use this much.”

“Well he should be able to climb it with no problems. He'll probably like a structure of his own too. It'll make him feel like he has territory of his own.” Bruce offered. Clint clapped a hand on Bruce’s shoulder and grinned.

“You heard the science man. Kitty gets a stand.”

“I hate you guys.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky sat on his couch with Da Vinci while Bruce and Clint put the stand together. They'd been working on it for an hour before Clint threw his hands up in frustration and laid down on the floor. 

Bucky just drank a beer and watched them struggle. Sam had set up a food and water bowl for Da Vinci in the kitchen and Bucky had gotten stuck setting up his litter pan in the bathroom.

“I'm gonna kill this cat stand. I'm gonna shoot it, set it on fire, and then shoot it again.” Clint announced. Bruce laughed and continued putting the thing together.

“You insisted on getting it so you get to put it together.” Bucky said with a laugh. Clint pointed at him and gave him a dirty look.

“Don't remind me of my past mistakes.”

“Try reading the instructions. It might be easier.” Sam suggested. Clint flipped him off and looked over Bruce’s shoulder at the instructions. 

There was a knock on the door and all four men looked over before looking at each other. Bucky frowned and stood, Da Vinci still in his pocket. He opened the door and Steve was stood there in a suit, looking disheveled. 

“Hey Bucky.” He said with a smile.

“Hey, man. Do you need Sam?” 

“Uh yeah. But I'll just wait until he gets home. I can see you're...busy.” He trailed off as he realized that there was a sleeping kitten poking it's head out of his pocket.

“You got a kitten?” Steve asked, a soft smile on his face. Bucky nodded and scratched the kitten's chin.

“Alice gave him to me. His name is Da Vinci.” 

“That's adorable. Can I pet him?” Bucky nodded and pulled the kitten out of his pocket. The kitten meowed softly but settled down when he was placed in Steve’s arms.

“He's got some medical issues. He's deaf but Clint said he's gonna try to teach him his name in sign language. Just the letters D and V though.” 

“He's precious. It's great that you adopted him.” Bucky shrugged.

“I was gonna give him to Clint. They've got a lot in common.”

“He looks like you.” Steve said softly. Da Vinci meowed at him and reached his paw out for Bucky.

“He does?”

“Yeah. He's got long dark hair and big blue eyes. They'll probably turn yellow or green but he's still cute.” He scratched the kitten's stomach and Da Vinci rolled over so Steve could pet him better.

“Do you want to come in for a beer? Clint and Bruce are trying to put and cat stand together and they're failing terribly. It's good entertainment.” Steve chuckled and handed the kitten back to Bucky.

“I'd love to but unfortunately I've got art history essays to grade. Have fun though.” He looked down at the small cat and pet his head once more before crossing the hall. He entered his apartment and Bucky waited until his door was shut before he looked down at the cat and sighed.

“He's cute right?” Da Vinci meowed and Bucky nodded. 

“Good point.” He went back into his own apartment and was surprised to see the cat stand fully assembled.

“Oh damn. You got it?” He asked Clint.

“No. Bruce got it.” Sam said.

“Awesome.” He walked over to the stand and put Da Vinci on the bottom tier.

The four of them watched as he sniffed the stand and investigated it. He sat down and stared at it for a moment before looking at them as if he was saying, “ _What do you expect me to do with this?_ ”

“Uh... now what?” Bucky asked.

“We get pizza and drink beer.” Clint said with a grin.

“Can we get salad too? Or maybe a sandwich?” Bruce asked as he and Clint headed towards the coat rack to grab their things.

“Pick up a supreme for me.” Sam said.

“I know your pizza order, Sam.” Bruce and Clint left the apartment and Sam turned to Bucky with a smirk. 

“What's with the smile? It's creepy.”

“You've got the hots for Steve. I can tell.” Bucky snorted and hopped onto his kitchen counter.

“Yeah right. He's my friend. I don't want to bone him. Stereotypes like this about gay men are hurtful, Sam.”

“Shut up, fool. I've probably boned more guys than you.” 

_I highly doubt that._ He thought before rolling his eyes.

“If I could give you the double bird, I would.” Sam laughed.

“Your pupils dilate when I say his name.” 

“Bullshit.” 

Sam pulled his phone out and opened his camera. He aimed it at Bucky and took a quick photo. Then he smirked and held the phone up again.

“Steve.” Bucky heard the camera click again and he rolled his eyes when Sam pulled the photo up. 

“Look. Before and after.” 

Sure enough, his eyes were dilated in the second picture. He wanted to blame the flash but Sam had turned it off.

“Ok, I'll admit he's hot. Happy?” Sam grinned. 

“Very. I can't wait to tell him.”

“Keep your mouth shut Wilson!”  
\------------------------------------------------------------

Steve sat on his couch with a beer in one hand and his phone in the other. He had the TV playing in the background but he just ignored it. He was just rereading the text he'd received that afternoon.

Sam entered the apartment with a pizza box and a smile on his face. It was clear he was tipsy but he didn't seem to notice.

“Hey. You look down. What's up?” Sam asked, putting the box down on their dining table.

“Peggy texted me. She's coming back to New York.”

“Oh.” Steve nodded and put his phone off to the side.

“She wants to meet me for drinks on the 10th.” Sam frowned. 

“Oh, I guess you won't be able to hang out for Bucky’s birthday.” 

“His birthday is on the 10th? Crap.” Sam sighed deeply.

“That's gonna suck for him.” Steve looked confused. 

“Why? We're barely friends. You see him more than I do.” Sam took a slice of pizza out of the box and sat down on the arm of the couch.

“He's got a crush on you.” Sam said nonchalantly before covering his mouth in horror. “Oh wait. I wasn't supposed to tell you that.” Steve’s eyes widened.

“Wait? Seriously?” Sam nodded. Steve smiled but Sam pointed at him. 

“You're not allowed to make the first move though. He's got to do it. Or else he'll never have the courage to do anything.”

“Ok.”   
\------------------------------------------------------------

 ** _March 10th_** \----------

Bucky hated his birthday. It was just just a reminder that he was getting old. It was also a reminder of the worst day of his life. So he'd rather lie in bed all day than go out.

It was around noon when he felt pressure on his feet. He looked at the foot of his bed and frowned. Da Vinci was staring at him, a toy in his mouth.

“Get off the bed.” He said, swatting at the cat with his feet. Da Vinci spit out the toy and started attacking Bucky's toes under the blanket.

“Damn it, DV.” His ear twitched and Bucky frowned. Da Vinci batted the toy, not paying any attention to Bucky.

“DV!” He shouted it this time and Da Vinci jumped. Bucky’s jaw dropped as realization dawned.

“You fucking asshole! You're not deaf?!” Da Vinci jumped off the bed and darted out of the room. Bucky sprung out of bed and chased the kitten into the living room.

He stood in the middle of the living room, scanning for movement. Now that he'd acquired more furniture the apartment looked more homey but there were infinite places for DV to hide. He saw movement on one of his bookshelves and he quickly turned to see DV trying to blend in.

Bucky stalked towards him and reached out to grab him but he jumped down and ran between his legs. He groaned and chased him back down the hallway. DV ran into the spare bedroom and did a dead end shuffle when he realized he was trapped. Bucky picked him up and glared at him. 

“I know you can hear me. I'm getting your hearing tested when I take you to the vet next week. You little shit.” DV’s eyes were downcast and Bucky sighed before putting him back down.

“Stay out of trouble, Mr. “Selective Hearing”.” He stepped over the kitten to head back to his room.

He decided to get dressed since he was wide awake from his early morning hot pursuit. After pulling on a loose sweater and jeans, he headed to his kitchen to make a pot of coffee. He stood over the coffee pot as it brewed and rested his head on his hand.

“Bucky?” He heard Clint’s voice by the front door.

“Kitchen.” Clint walked around the corner and entered the kitchen, two bags of groceries in his arms.

“Good afternoon.” Clint greeted.

“DV isn't deaf. I yelled earlier and he reacted.” 

“Yeah that's what I thought. But I wasn't sure.” Bucky groaned.

“Why didn't you say anything?” 

“Because I wasn't sure.” Bucky sighed and watched Clint take off his coat and hang it over the back of one of the stools before he started pulling groceries out of the bags.

“You might as well live here if you're always over.” Clint grinned and continued unbagging the groceries.

“I might. My lease expires in May.” 

Bucky poured himself a cup of coffee while Clint put things away. He turned with the mug in his hands and frowned when he saw all the things he'd bought. There were a bunch of baking supplies and party foods. He was confused until he saw the birthday candles.

“No.” Clint looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

“What?”

“No party stuff. Get it out of my house.” He pointed towards the front door and Clint just stared at him. 

“What? Are you allergic to candles and cheese curls? I'm being serious. I need to know so you don't break out in hives.” Bucky gave Clint a quizzical look.

“What? No. I mean, no party. I want to just drink some coffee and watch Netflix.” Clint looked sad.

“Do you not like parties?”

“No, parties are fine. I just hate my birthday.” 

“Why?” Bucky sighed.

“Because my parents kicked me out on my 15th birthday. So I don't really like today.”

“I'm sorry.” Bucky shrugged.

“It's whatever. I just want to be left alone today.” Clint nodded.

“I'll text Sam and Bruce and tell them not to come.”

“Wait? It's just gonna be the four of us? That's not too bad.” Clint smiled.

“Awesome.”

“But no singing. And no presents.” Clint bit his lip and nodded.

“Deal.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam and Bucky sat in the living room watching a baseball game while Clint cooked in the kitchen. Bruce was sitting on the loveseat reading a book quietly. Bucky was hungry but he didn't want to pester Clint. So he sat in silence until his stomach growled loud enough for Bruce and Sam to look up at him in surprise.

“What is taking so long?” Bucky complained.

“He said he wasn't making much. I might help him.” Bruce said, putting his book down.

“Sounds good. As long as the food gets in my stomach quicker.” Sam said.

“Dinner is served.” Clint came out of the kitchen with a tray in his hands.

Whatever he'd made smelled delicious and DV jumped up on the dining table to sniff the air. Bucky stood and swatted DV away. Clint put the tray down and went back into the kitchen to get plates and cutlery. He came back out with some paper plates and forks and passed them around the table.

“Are these enchiladas?” Sam asked, hunger in his eyes.

“Yeah. And there are plenty of snacks and shit if this isn't enough. There will be a cake though so save room.” 

They served themselves and talked animatedly while they ate. Bruce was actually vivid for once and he was discussing a prototype he and Tony had been working on for months. Clint was hanging on his every word and Sam and Bucky traded a knowing look before Sam fake gagged. Bucky snickered but quickly made it seem like a cough.

“Well I've got to go make some cake and clean this up. You guys go chill.” Sam and Bucky didn't hesitate in heading back to the living room and planting their butts on the couch.

Bruce helped Clint clean up while Sam and Bucky watched TV. About 15 minutes passed before Bucky realized Bruce hadn't come out the kitchen

“Where the hell is Bruce?” He finally asked Sam. His friend shrugged, not taking his eyes off of the screen.

“Probably helping Clint make the cake.”

Bucky stood, bringing his and Sam's empty beer bottles with him as he headed towards the kitchen. He could hear the exhaust hood and he frowned. He turned around the corner and almost dropped the bottles in his hand.   
Bruce was sitting on the counter, his arms wrapped around Clint’s neck and the two were kissing deeply. Bruce had his legs wrapped around Clint’s waist and he had his fingers tangled in his short hair. Bucky smiled before clearing his throat. Bruce jumped off the counter and immediately blushed beet red from the tips of his ears to his clavicle. Clint just smiled and turned around to check the oven.

“Oh my God! I'm so sorry!” Bucky threw the bottles into the trash and shook his head.

“No it's fine. Don't let me stop you.” He turned away and quickly left the kitchen.

He rejoined Sam on the sofa with a smile on his face. Sam looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

“What's with the look?”

“I just caught Clint and Bruce kissing. With Bruce propped up on my counter. It looked very intense. And kinda hot.” Sam’s jaw dropped.

“That's amazing!” 

“I know right?!”  
\------------------------------------------------------------

Steve stood outside of the bar where Peggy had asked him to meet her. He was wearing a suit like she requested and had styled his hair. He felt stiff and uncomfortable and fidgeted a bit as he waited.

“You can never wear a suit without fidgeting.” He turned to see Peggy handing money to a cab driver. 

She turned to face him and gave him a bright smile. He felt his breath catch in his throat and he smiled back at her. 

She looked stunning as always. She was wearing a dark red dress that reached slightly below her knees. Her little black heels complemented her clutch and long coat. She was wearing her favorite red lipstick and it took everything in Steve’s power to not kiss her right there. 

“Peggy.” He said, a bit breathless. She walked over to him and gave him a tight hug. He picked her up and twirled her a bit. She scolded him afterwards but she had a genuine smile on her face.

“It's been quite some time since we've seen each other. You look as dashing as ever.”

“You look gorgeous, Peg.” She blushed and slapped his arm playfully.

“Such a flirt. So shall we get a drink?” He nodded and offered her his arm. 

“We shall.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I'm serious. They have no respect for a female authority figure.” She said, taking another sip of her whiskey. 

“If you were my lieutenant, I'd listen.” She smirked.

“If I remember correctly, you were a very good listener. Especially in the bedroom.” He blushed and she laughed.

“So Peg, I noticed that you're wearing a ring?” She blushed and nodded.

“Good eye. Yes I'm engaged. And I'm very happy.” She had nothing but love in her eyes and Steve smiled.

“I'm happy for you.”

“So please, tell me what's going on in your life? Sharon told me you were stabbed?” 

“It's nothing. It's already almost healed.” She nodded.

“Do you have anyone special in your life, Steve?” He shook his head.

“Everyone else does. Except for me. And Bruce and Clint.” She raised an eyebrow.

“They're still not an item? I thought that would have happened by now.” He chuckled. 

“So did I. Tony and I have a bet going. If they get together before Bruce turns 50, he owes me $1000. And if they get together after then I owe him a $1000.” She grimaced and took a sip of her whiskey. Steve’s phone buzzed and he looked down at it to see he had a text from Sam saying he'd missed a great party. 

“So do you mind if I ask who Bucky is?” She asked, her chin resting on his shoulder. He smiled and pocketed his phone. 

“Our new neighbor. He's great. Him and Sam have been bonding lately over the whole ex-military thing. His birthday is today.” 

“Well why are you here with silly old me?” 

“It's fine. I'd rather be here anyways.” He smiled at her and she grinned.

“Do you like your neighbor?” He nodded.

“Yeah he's nice.” She tsked at him and finished her drink.

“You know that's not what I meant.” He rolled his eyes.

“I love you but you're so annoying sometimes.” She sighed.

“I'm well aware of that. So is this Bucky special at all?”

“No. He's just an acquaintance. Sam is his friend. I don't know him that well.” 

“But you're smitten.” 

“No I'm not.” He lifted his glass and took a sip. She squinted at him and frowned.

“You're blushing.”

“I'm drunk.”

“You don't get drunk.” He sighed.

“Damn it.” She smiled and rested her chin on her hand while drumming her fingers on the bar.

“I can read you like a bloody novel. So tell me about him?”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve walked Peggy outside, her hand resting in the crook of his elbow. They were chatting about her new job when her taxi pulled up. She turned to him and poked him in the chest. 

“I will see you very soon. Text me when you're at your flat. And please ask Bucky out. You're clearly smitten.” He rolled his eyes but still smiled. She kissed his cheek and wiped her lipstick mark off before climbing into her taxi. She blew him a kiss and he waved as the car drove off.

His smiled faded a bit as he climbed into his truck and started the 15 minute drive home. Seeing Peggy had been phenomenal but it had dredged up old feelings he was so close to burying. He just shrugged his thoughts off and focused on driving home. 

When he finally got home, he could hear Sam and Natasha in Sam’s room and he grimaced before heading to his room. He kicked off his shoes and quickly peeled himself out of the suit. He hung the suit up and threw on a pair of sweatpants before padding down the hallway to his studio.

He pulled the door open and flicked the light on. He looked at the studio and his jaw dropped. The portrait he'd been working on for Tony was shredded and covered in bird poop. Redwing was on the top of it pulling strips of the canvas up and cackling afterwards. 

“Oh my God!” Steve shouted loudly. Redwing looked up and dropped the piece in his beak.

“ _Shit_.” The bird climbed down quickly and hid behind what remained of the painting.

“SAM!” Steve yelled across the apartment. He heard a thump before Sam ran out of his room with a pillow in front of his crotch.

“What?! What happened?!” He froze when he saw how red Steve's face was.

“Get your bird out of here! Or I'll chuck him in the river!” Sam walked down the hall to look in Steve’s studio and he gasped.

“Oh shit! REDWING!” 

“ _Shit, shit, shit, shit._ ” The parrot whispered as he ran back to his cage. He climbed up it and ran inside before pulling the door shut and locking it. They stared at the parrot in shock before Sam crossed the room and pulled the edge of the large cage so it would roll. He pulled it into the hallway and turned back to Steve.

“I'm really sorry.” Steve just clenched his jaw and nodded.

“It's not your fault. Or Redwing’s. He's just a bird.” He turned back to face the painting. “Tony is gonna be pissed though.”

“Screw Tony. He underpays you for these portraits anyways.” Steve sighed and nodded.

“I'm just glad I have my sketches still. Or I'd be screwed.” Natasha popped her head into the studio and gasped.

“Oh no! Sam I told you to leave Redwing in the living room. I knew he'd end up doing something like this.” Sam frowned. 

“I didn't think he was smart enough to unlock his cage.”

“Parrots are very smart. Especially African Greys.” She smacked his arm and pulled the cage down the hallway. Sam rubbed his arm and frowned. 

“I'm really sorry man. I'll pay for a new canvas and I'll clean the place up.” Steve nodded.

“Thanks. I'm not in the right headplace anymore. I just want to sleep.” Sam squeezed his shoulder and nodded.

“I'll just go put on some pants and get the broom. Goodnight man.” Steve nodded and headed to his room.

“Goodnight.”


	5. April

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's April! Finally! Only took me five days to finally upload

_**April**_  
\----------

“A baseball game?” Bucky asked, one eyebrow raised. Steve nodded and adjusted his messenger bag on his shoulder. 

They were standing in the building's lobby at six in the morning. It was pouring rain outside and Steve had approached him as he came upstairs from the basement. He was clearly anxious and Bucky just listened to him ramble.

“Yeah. Tony has box seats and there's room for one more. And I asked if I could invite you and I know you like baseball. I mean who doesn't, right?” Bucky listened to him with a smile on face.

“I'm down. When is it?”

“Saturday afternoon. Nat is driving everyone.” Bucky’s smile faded.

“I don't think she'll give me a ride.” Steve bit the inside of his cheek.

“Well if she won't, I will. I don't want you missing out.” Steve said with a small smile. Bucky nodded and smiled back at him. 

“Sounds good. Shoot me a text an hour before we leave. So I have time to get ready.” 

“Awesome.” Steve started walking backwards towards the revolving door. “I've got to get to work bu-” His back slammed into the door and he winced.

“I'll see you Saturday. Have a good day at work.” Bucky said softly. 

“Thanks. You too.” Steve made his way out of the building before waving at him from outside before jogging off down the street.

“He's got it bad.” Bucky turned to see Alice sitting on her desk with a can of soda in her hand.

“Isn't it too early for sugary drinks?” Bucky asked. She squinted at him before taking a long chug.

“It's never too early for soda.” He chuckled and reached into his hoodie pocket. DV was sound asleep and purring softly. 

“I think I'm in love with this cat.” Bucky said scratching the kitten's head.

“I knew you'd like him.” He rolled his eyes.

“He's not deaf though. All that sign language for nothing.” She chuckled. 

“Look on the bright side, your cat is trained.”

“In sign language!” 

“It's cool. Train him to attack and you won't have to get a guard dog. Just move your hand and someone will lose an eye.”

“That's ridiculous.” She raised an eyebrow.

“Is it though?” She said taking a sip of her drink.

“Yes!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clint walked through Bucky’s front door Thursday afternoon with a paper bag in one hand and two cups of coffee in the other. He handed one of the cups to Bucky who was relaxing on his couch. 

“Good afternoon!” Bucky smiled and sipped at his drink.

“Hey, did you bring food?” He asked.

“As a matter of fact, I did.” He tossed the bag to Bucky and flopped down on the loveseat.

Bucky peeked in the bag and smiled when he realized that Clint had brought him tacos from the vendor down the street. He pulled one of the tacos out and unwrapped it. It was steaming and smelled strongly of cilantro.

“I got you two steak and two chicken. With cilantro and pico de gallo. I knew you'd kill me if I didn't.” Bucky grinned and took a huge bite of the chicken taco.

“You're awesome.” Clint grinned.

“I know. Did Steve tell you about the baseball game?” Bucky nodded and took another bite of his food.

“He said he'll give me a ride.” Clint wiggled his eyebrows.

“Just the two of you? Alone? Someone's getting road head.” Bucky threw a pillow at him and Clint chuckled.

“You're disgusting. Besides, if anyone is getting road head, it's Bruce.” Clint threw the pillow back at him. 

“Shut up.”

“You first.” Clint rolled his eyes.

“So are you gonna make a move? Because it's been almost four months and all you've done is kiss him on New Year's which doesn't count.” Bucky finished eating his taco and put the bag on the coffee table.

“I don't know. I'm not sure I even will.” 

“Why? Don't be a pussy.” Bucky gaped at him. 

“Dude!” Clint looked confused.

“What?”

“What the fuck?” Clint waved him off.

“Pussy means pusillanimous. Which means weak or timid.” He gave him a know-it-all grin.

“Who taught you that? Your boyfriend?” Clint threw another pillow at him. 

“He's not my boyfriend!”  
\------------------------------------------------------------

When Saturday rolled around, Steve was itching with excitement. He'd gotten up especially early that morning to eat and shower. Then he'd stood in front of his closet trying to decide what to wear.

He eventually settled on a blue t-shirt and a pair of khakis. After slipping on a pair of sneakers, he headed to the living room. Sam was pacing around the room with his phone to his ear. Steve mouthed, asking who he was talking to. Sam held up a finger, telling him to wait.

“No I understand. Yeah. Uh huh. I'll tell Steve. Ok. I'll see you soon. Love you. Bye.” He hung up and pocketed his phone.

“Who was that?” Sam sighed and sat down on the sofa.

“Nat. She can't make the game. She has to fly to Afghanistan for work and she's not gonna be back until May.” Steve frowned.

“Oh crap. Did she tell Clint and Bruce?” He nodded.

“Were all just gonna ride with you. That's ok, right?” Steve nodded and smiled.

“Of course. My truck has plenty of room.” Sam grinned.

“I call dibs on the seat all the way in the back.” Steve gave him a quizzical look.

“You hate that seat.” 

“Yeah but if I sit there than you and Bucky can sit up front and Clint and Bruce can sit in the backseat.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“Just put your shoes on. I already texted Bucky. We're leaving in five.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Sam and Steve got down to the lobby, Bucky and Clint were in an argument and Bruce was standing between them trying to stop it. Clint was waving his hands around and his voice was loud.

“What the hell is going on?” Sam barked. They looked at him and frowned.

“Oh thank God!” Bruce said, sighing in relief. 

“What happened?” Steve asked.

“They're fighting about music! And I can't stop them!” Sam rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Music?” Clint nodded.

“He thinks EDM sucks.” Clint said angrily.

“Because it does!” Bucky shot back. 

“Shut your mouth, slut!” Clint fired back. Bruce just groaned and pushed Clint away from Bucky.

“You're grown ass men! And you're acting like bratty kids! Bucky,” Sam said facing the man. “Just because you don't like EDM, doesn't mean it sucks. It actually has a very rich history. Look it up.” Bucky frowned. 

“And Clint, you're almost 40, dude. Act like it. Don't get into arguments with punk ass 20 something year olds.” Clint just rolled his eyes.

“I literally just told them that like five minutes ago. Why did they listen to you?” Bruce asked, clearly frustrated. 

“Because Sam is mean. And you're not. You're not very loud or authoritative.” Clint said. Bruce frowned and turned to walk out of the building. 

“Oooh, you've done it now.” Bucky teased. Clint slapped him upside the head and ran out the building after Bruce.

“I'll go get the truck.” Steve said, holding up his keys.

“Can I sit in the back?” Bucky asked.

“Why?” Sam asked, confused.

“I always sit in the back. And I don't like cars.” Steve and Sam traded a glance before Steve nodded.

“Of course.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky was starving by the time they reached the stadium. He'd munched on a granola bar in the car but he his stomach was grumbling and he couldn't wait until he got inside so he could get some nachos. 

Tony had met them right outside the entrance to the stadium. Pepper was standing next to him, looking at her phone and not paying attention to her husband who was standing on a chair looking out across the crowd for them. 

When he saw them, he waved them over and made his bodyguard push through the crowd so that they could get inside. People bitched at them as they cut their way to the front of the line. Tony waved an ID badge at the security guard at the entrance and she waved them through.

When they finally made it to the box seats, Bucky stared out the glass at the huge stadium. He could see players out on the diamond warming up and the stadium was slowly filling with fans.

“Holy shit.” He said softly. Tony grinned and nodded.

“Amazing right?” He nodded.

“Have you been to a major league game before, James?” Pepper asked, sweetly.

“No. My dad took me to a minor league game when I was seven. It was an Indians game.” 

“Isn't that the Indiana team?” Bruce asked from one of the couches.

“Yeah. We went when we still lived in Indiana.” Steve looked at him surprised. 

“You're from Indiana?” He nodded.

“Yeah. From this little town called Tab. It's about two hours outside Indy.” 

“I've never heard of Tab.” Tony said.

“Not a lot of people have. When I moved away, the town was slowly dwindling. There used to be a diner, a theatre, a grocery store, and a grain mill. Plus the church. When I moved, all that was left was the church and grain mill. And everybody there is related. My aunt Ida still lives there.” He said.

“Holy shit. I didn't think towns like that still existed.” Tony said in awe.

“They do. My aunt has a friend who lives in one outside of Dayton.” Bruce piped up. 

“Amazing.” Tony whispered.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After eating three servings of nachos before the fourth inning, Bucky was starting to feel sick. He was lying down on one of the sofas with a pillow over his eyes. Bruce had given him two stomach pills and he was waiting for them to kick in. Steve had reprimanded him but still got him a can of ginger ale for him to drink.

“I should have never allowed you guys unlimited food.” Tony said dryly.

“I still would have eaten the nachos.” Bucky said, sitting up and picking up the ginger ale. He took a long sip and leaned back on the couch.

“Well you're gonna miss the kiss cam.” Pepper said, watching the large cameras scan the stadium. “They're looking for people now.” 

Bucky stood and walked over to the window. The announcers were spewing some advertisement and Bucky ignored them. The huge monitor lit up pink and a bunch of hearts appeared.

“You know what time it is folks!!! It's time for the KISS CAM!!!” The announcer said loudly. 

“Ew.” Bucky said.

“You could end up on there.” Sam warned.

“And who the hell would I kiss?”

“My lips are always available baby.” Clint said from his left side. He looked at him and wrinkled his nose in disgust when Clint puckered his lips. 

“I'd rather eat dirty underwear.” Clint gasped.

“Then I'll find a kissing buddy, you bastard.” Bucky chuckled and pushed Clint away.

“Oh shit.” Tony said suddenly.

“What?” Bucky asked.

The kiss camera was aimed at him and he gulped. Steve was on his right side with a beer in his hand and a look of shock on his face. The crowd was chanting and Sam pushed the two of them towards each other.

“Whatever.” Bucky mumbled before wrapping a hand around Steve’s neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

Steve stiffened at first but quickly relaxed and kissed him back. The crowd went nuts and the camera panned away after several seconds. Bucky pulled away when the camera turned away and took a sip of his drink. 

“I think I'm still hungry.” He said before wandering out of the room. He glanced over his shoulder at Steve who's face was bright red and he smiled before disappearing down the hall.  
\------------------------------------------------------------

Steve stood there with his mouth open for several seconds before Pepper reached out and gently pushed his mouth shut. She giggled and Steve quickly snapped back to reality.

“What just happened?” He said before looking at his friends in the room. Sam just shrugged. 

“You just kissed Barnes for the second time this year.” Tony said nonchalantly. 

“What are the chances it would land on us?”

“About $500.” Tony said taking a sip of his drink. Steve was confused for a second before he realized what Tony was saying.

“You paid off the camera operator?!” He shrieked.

“Yeah. How else was I gonna get got guys to kiss again?” Steve just shook his head in shock. 

“I would expect you doing that for Clint and Bruce but me and Bucky?” Bruce frowned.

“Wait, what?” He asked.

“We have a bet going. But according to Sam, you made nookie at Barnes’ party.” Bruce blushed and covered his face. Steve's eyes widened and he looked at Sam.

“Why didn't you tell me?” Sam frowned.

“I forgot.”

“But you remembered to tell Tony?” He shrugged and Steve sighed and covered his face.  
\------------------------------------------------------------

After the game, everyone went out for dinner. Jane and Thor met them at the Chinese restaurant Tony had suggested. The place was crowded but Tony had reserved a table for 10. The server had seated them and taken their drink orders, shaking the whole time when she realized Tony was one of the diners.

“You're the man who was at the New Year's party, yes?” Thor had asked Bucky when he sat down next to Jane.

“Yeah.” Thor offered his hand and Bucky reached across the table and shook it. 

“Thor Odinson. And the gorgeous woman sitting next to you is my wife, Dr. Jane Foster.” Pepper perked up at that and shot Jane a look.

“Wife?” She asked. Jane blushed and held her hand out to show off a diamond ring. Pepper squealed and reached across the table to get look at her ring. 

“When did you get married?” 

“When we left for my research trip in Scandinavia. We had a small little ceremony. It was sweet. We wanted to invite you all but it was very last minute.” She explained. Pepper waved her off.

“It's fine as long as you took pictures. I want to see what you wore.”

The two women delved into a conversation about the wedding and their time in Scandinavia. Bucky tuned them out and turned to look at Steve who was sitting next to him. His eyes were glued to his phone and he made sure to stay as far away from Bucky as possible.

“Are you alright?” Bucky asked softly. Steve looked up at him and nodded. 

“I'm fine. Why?”

“Because you'd been avoiding me all day since the kiss cam incident.” Steve put his phone down and sighed.

“I'm sorry.” Bucky bumped his shoulder against Steve’s.

“It's ok. Just wanted to make sure you're not angry at me.” 

“Congratulations!” The two of them turned to see Jane running around the table to hug Pepper.

“What happened?” Everyone else at the table was watching them curiously.

“We're having a kid! Pay attention!” Tony said, rolling his eyes.

Bruce smiled and leaned over to hug Tony. He pushed Bruce away but he had a smile on his face. Bucky watched as the group of friends all traded hugs and friendly smiles and pats on the back. He just sipped at his water and read the menu.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Sam asked.

“It's a little girl. She'll be here next week. We're so excited!” Pepper said, taking Tony’s hand.

“She's flying in from Thailand with her caretaker. We've already got a whole floor set up for her in the tower.” Tony said with a smile.

“I'm so happy for you!” Jane said, grinning. 

“Yeah and we already decided we want Bruce to be the godfather.” Bruce choked on his drink and Clint patted his back.

“What? Me?” Pepper nodded enthusiastically.

“You've been Tony’s best friend for 24 years. It only seems right.” 

“What about the godmother?” 

“Natasha. We haven't asked her yet but we're sure she'll say yes.” 

Bruce still looked shocked and Clint was just grinning ear to ear. Jane and Pepper couldn't stop hugging each other in excitement. Thor held up his glass to give a little toast to the group.

Bucky just sat in silence and watched the whole thing play out. Watching them all interact with each other animatedly just made him feel left out. So when they were all talking, he silently slipped away from the table and left the restaurant. 

He'd made it about a two blocks away before he heard feet thumping on the sidewalk behind him. He turned to see Steve running to catch up. He sighed and stopped walking. Steve finally reached him and took a deep breath before scrambling through his pockets. He pulled out his inhaler and took a puff before shoving the small thing back into his pocket.

“You shouldn't have run after me.” Bucky said quietly.

“Why did you leave?” Steve asked, ignoring what Bucky had said.

“Because I'm an outsider. Just go back to your friends. I'll be fine.” He turned to continue walking but Steve just walked ahead of him and stopped in the middle of the sidewalk forcing Bucky to stop walking.

“You're not an outsider. Come back.” He grabbed Bucky’s hand and gave him a pleading look.

“I'm fine. Just go back. I'll probably grab a sandwich or something on my way home.”

“You're gonna walk back to Brooklyn?” Steve asked.

“No. I'll catch a cab. It's fine. I'll see you later, Rogers.” He pulled his hand out of Steve’s and brushed past him. 

He glanced back over his shoulder before he turned the corner but Steve was gone.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky wasn't sure why but instead of going home immediately, he ended up outside of a bar he had frequented when he was younger. He stared at it for a while before heading inside. It was crowded and there were drag queens dancing on tables.

He made his way to the bar and managed to get a seat. He ordered a beer and slapped a $20 on the counter. The bartender just nodded and handed him his beer.

He took a long drink before taking a better look at the bar. It was less exclusive now than it had been when he was 15. Instead of the young hustlers milling about and wealthy businessmen, it was drag queens, leather daddies, bears, twinks, and everything in between. 

The bar had clearly switched owners and he was glad for it. The place seemed safer and more friendly than it had been. He smiled softly before turning around in his seat and taking another sip of his beer.

“I know you.” He turned to see a guy sitting next to him.

“You do?” The guy nodded and searched his face, trying to place him.

“Yeah. You're from the VA, right?” Bucky nodded.

“Yeah I go every Tuesday. Have we met before?” The guy shook his head and offered his hand.

“We've never been properly introduced. Lieutenant David Luis Rivera.” Bucky shook his hand.

“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. Army?” He asked.

“Yup. Served two tours.” 

“Thank you for your service.” Bucky said jokingly. David chuckled and finished off his beer.

“I never thought I'd get sick of hearing that but it got pretty old after the first month.”

“I wouldn't know. I haven't really interacted with enough people to be told that.” 

“You're lucky.” Bucky smiled.

“Actually I'm Bucky.” David grinned at that.

“Nickname?” Bucky nodded. “Cool. I'm just David. I hate the name Dave.” Bucky bit his lip

“So...can I buy you a drink?” David smiled and nodded.

“Yeah. Why not?” Bucky waved the bartender over and ordered two more beers.

The two of them talked for a long time. David talked about how he'd lost his leg stepping on a mine. Bucky explained losing his arm in the wreck. They talked about their experiences in the military, their childhoods, their hobbies and interests. Sometime during through conversation, David’s hand had found it's way to Bucky’s thigh. He just smiled and leaned in closer.

“So Bucky, how would you feel about getting coffee with me tomorrow?” Bucky bit the inside of his cheek.

“Like a date?”

“Depends on your answer.” Bucky laughed and nodded.

“Yeah I'd like that. Where do you want to meet?”

“What about the Starbucks on Eastern Parkway? It's only a few blocks from here.” Bucky nodded.

“Sounds good. What time?” David shrugged.

“Give me your number and I'll text you.”

“Smooth.” He entered his number in David’s phone and stood up from the bar. 

“Then I will see you tomorrow.” David nodded and stood.

“Awesome.” He leaned in for a hug but Bucky grabbed him and kissed him. David seemed surprised at first but quickly reciprocated.

They stood there for a long moment kissing, Bucky's hand around his neck and David’s hands on his hips. Eventually Bucky pulled away, his lips swollen and sore. He smiled at David and gave him a quick peck before backing up. 

“I'll see you tomorrow.” David saluted him and Bucky smiled before walking out of the bar.  
\------------------------------------------------------------

“Come on! Let's go out!” Sam whined. Steve kicked him off his bed and groaned.

“I'm too hungover for this.” Sam laughed and jumped back onto the bed.

“And some coffee and a greasy food would help with that.” Steve groaned again but pulled his head out from under the blanket.

He winced at the bright sunlight streaming through his bedroom window. He threw a hand over his eyes but Sam just grabbed him and tugged on his arm.

“Shower and get dressed. We leave in 15.” Sam left the room and Steve sighed before standing up and heading to the bathroom.

After showering and dressing, he popped in his contacts and put on a pair sunglasses. He entered the living room and Sam rolled his eyes.

“You look like an undercover cop with that hat and the sunglasses.”

“Let's just go get coffee.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam dragged him to one of the many Starbucks within a 10 block radius of their apartment. The place was pretty empty and that surprised them but Sam just made him stand in line while they waited. 

Steve heard a familiar laugh ring out through the coffee shop and he scanned the room. Eventually he spotted Bucky sitting in the back of the shop by one of the windows. He was sitting across from another guy who was very handsome and seemed to have Bucky's undivided attention.

“Bucky's here.” Steve said quietly. Sam looked up from his phone and furrowed his brow.

“He is?” Steve jerked his head in Bucky’s direction and Sam looked over Steve's shoulder. His eyebrows shot up.  
“Is he sitting with Rivera?” Steve frowned.

“Who's that?” Sam looked back at Steve.

“He's a regular at the VA. They must have met there. I'm not surprised. I see vets becoming friends and bonding with other vets who have similar stories and experiences.” Steve's shoulders tensed and Sam smirked.

“Calm down. No need to get jealous.” Steve clenched his jaw.

“I'm not jealous.”

“Yeah right.” Sam stepped forward as next in line and ordered their drinks. They stepped off to the side after ordering and Steve watched Bucky talk animatedly to the handsome man.

“Hey Bucky!” Sam called out. Steve turned around and smacked him in the chest.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Sam grinned.

“Getting information.” 

Bucky turned in his seat to look across the store. He looked confused before he spotted Sam and waved. Sam picked their drinks up off the counter and headed towards Bucky. He handed Steve his drink and grabbed his wrist. Steve followed his friend, nervous the whole time.

“Barnes and Rivera. What's up?” Sam said fist bumping Rivera.

“Just hanging out.” Rivera said, looking up at Steve. Bucky followed his gaze and smiled.

“David this is Steve Rogers. Sam's best friend and roommate. And my neighbor.” David offered his hand. Steve gave him a tight smile before shaking his hand.

“Nice to meet you.” David grinned.

“Likewise.” 

“We'll we're gonna get out of here. Have fun!” Sam said. 

They walked away from the table and left the Starbucks. When they got outside Steve finally relaxed and he took in a huge breath.

“They were on a date, right? I'm not crazy?” Steve asked. Sam wrinkled his nose and nodded.

“Yeah I think they were.” He patted Steve's shoulder. “Sorry man.”

“Who cares? I don't. If he wants to go out with gorgeous Latin men, who am I to stop him?” Steve said hurriedly, clearly flustered. 

“You're not taking this well.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------

“Steve looked uncomfortable to see us together.” David remarked as Sam and Steve left the Starbucks.

“He's got a crush on me.” Bucky explained. David nodded and took a sip of his coffee.

“Well he's got good taste.” He said with a wink. Bucky smiled and rolled his eyes.

“If you keep flirting with me like this, I'm not gonna hold out until the third date.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?” Bucky laughed.

“Both.”

Which was how Bucky ended up pinned against his living room wall with David’s lips on his neck. He tangled his fingers in David’s hair and moaned.

“God you're great at that.” He breathed out. David pulled away to give him a toothy grin.

“Trust me, baby, that's not all my mouth can do.” Bucky pulled David’s mouth to his own and groaned when David thrust his hand down Bucky’s pants. 

Bucky gasped as David rubbed his dick through the thin fabric of his boxers.

“A little warning next time.” David nipped at his neck.

“Well where's the fun in that?”

Bucky turned quickly so David was the one pinned against the wall.

“Two can play at that game.” He reached a hand up his shirt and traced his stomach lightly. David moaned softly and lowered his mouth to Bucky’s.

“Bedroom?” He said, his breathing heavy.

“First door on the left.”

They made their way to Bucky’s bedroom where David threw him down on the bed. Bucky peeled his shirt off quickly and kissed David again.

“Take your shirt off.” Bucky breathed. David pulled his shirt off and threw it down.

He had two puckered scars under his pecs and Bucky frowned.

“What is it?” He asked.

“Scars from my top surgery.” Realization dawned on Bucky's face and he nodded.

“Ok. So can we go back to the foreplay?” Bucky asked.

“You're sure ok with this?”

“Why wouldn't I be?”

“Well most guys I hook up with are just fetishists or they kick me out once they find out.” David explained sitting on the bed next to him.

“You're transgender. Why would that be a problem?” 

“You're ok with it?” Bucky nodded and turned David’s face towards his.

“I still want to pound you into the mattress if that's what you're wondering.” David laughed and leaned in to kiss Bucky.

“Well that's reassuring.” He said pushing Bucky back down on the bed.

“So...sex?” Bucky asked with a grin.

“Fuck yeah.”


	6. May

_**May**_  
\-------------

 

“Wait...you've got a boyfriend?!” Clint asked as he put down the box he was carrying.

 

It was May sixth and Clint’s lease was up on the 15th. So Bucky had insisted he start moving his things in immediately. He'd informed Alice that Clint was moving in with him and she added his name to the lease and demanded $1800 upfront.

 

So after handing Alice the check, they started the task of moving him from Paramus to Brooklyn. With Bruce’s help, it had only taken them a day to clean and pack up his apartment. They crashed on his living room floor and moved the boxes the next morning.

 

And now Clint was staring at Bucky in shock as they finished moving things in.

 

“He's not my boyfriend. It's just a casual thing. I'm just telling you in case he comes over sometime.”

 

“But I thought you liked Steve?” Bucky rolled his eyes.

 

“I do...did. But I like David too.”

 

“So his name is David? He sounds like a douche.”

 

“He's not a douche! What is your problem?” Bucky asked angrily.

 

“Sorry. I'm kind of in shock here.” Clint admitted sheepishly.

 

“Why are you in shock?” They turned to see Bruce walk through the door with a box in his arms.

 

“Bucky has a boyfriend.” Bruce frowned and put the box down.

 

“But I thought you liked Steve?” Clint gestured at Bruce with a knowing look.

 

“See?”

 

“You're an idiot.”

 

“What's his name?” Bruce asked.

 

“David. He's a vet too. And he's nice and you're gonna be polite to him Clint or I'll knock you out.”

 

“With what arm?” Bucky jumped over one of the boxes and tackled Clint to the ground.

 

“Please don't fight!” Bruce said, rushing forward to break them up.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

After arranging the extra furniture around the apartment and shoving the extra boxes into Clint’s room, they all sat down on the couch to relax. Clint was laying down on the couch with his face buried in Bruce’s stomach and he was snoring. Bruce was running his fingers through Clint’s hair as he watched the movie Bucky had put on.

 

“You two still aren't official?” Bucky asked softly. Bruce smiled and looked down at Clint.  
“I want to be but...he's not ready.”

 

“What is he waiting for? He's not gonna live forever.” Bruce laughed and continued playing with Clint’s short hair.

 

“I'm not sure. He just keeps telling me he's not ready.”

 

“You've been playing this game since March. Let him know how you feel.”

 

“I don't know, Bucky. What if it goes badly? What if I end up with another failed relationship? I've already gone through two divorces. I don't want to be heartbroken again.”

 

“He's so in love with you, Bruce.”

 

“I hope so.”

 

Clint groaned and rolled over so he was lying on his back. He yawned and rubbed his eyes.

 

“Fuck. I fell asleep?” He asked, sitting up.

 

“Yeah. You've only been out for a half an hour.” Bruce said softly.

 

“Oh. Then I'm going back to sleep.” He said lying back down, burying his face in Bruce’s stomach again.

 

“Actually, I need your help with something.” Bucky said, standing up.

 

“I wanna sleep. Bruce is so warm.”

 

Bucky bent down and pulled Clint’s ear. Clint cried out in pain as Bucky dragged him to his feet and pulled him down the hallway.

 

“What the hell?” Clint complained when they finally made into his bedroom.

 

“When are you gonna grow a pair?” He demanded. Clint looked confused.

 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

 

“You've got someone who's absolutely crazy about you sitting in our living room and you refuse to commit to him!” Clint sighed.

 

“I'm not ready. I'm not over Laura.”

 

“Bullshit. Stop using that as an excuse.”

 

“What?”

 

“I know you loved her and you always will. I'm not telling to stop grieving. But you're in love with him. And all you're doing is breaking his heart.” Clint tried to look angry but he just deflated and sat down on his bed.

 

“I know that. Don't you think I know that?” Bucky sat down next to him.

 

“What's going on with you?”

 

“I don't want to commit because I'm scared. I'm scared I'll lose him like I lost Laura. There's a 10 year age difference between us, Buck. Did you know that?” Bucky shook his head.

 

“So even if he makes it to 80 years old and suddenly keels from a heart attack or something, I'll still have lost him.”

 

“Clint to be totally honest with you, he's not going to be the one that dies first. I mean, have you seen the way you eat?” Clint shoved him.

 

“So what are you saying?” Bucky smiled and squeezed Clint’s shoulder.

 

“I'm saying, make your move Clinton. Or you'll regret it for the rest of your life.” Clint stood and walked out of the room.

 

Bucky followed him down the hall and peeked around the corner into the living room. Clint crossed the room and sat next to Bruce, not saying anything. Bucky sighed and entered the living room. He sat down on the loveseat and crossed his legs.

 

“Clint.” Bucky whispered. Clint looked up at him and he jerked his head in Bruce’s direction.

 

“Hey Bruce? Can I tell you something?” Clint finally said, his voice shaking slightly.

 

“Yeah?” Bruce said, putting the remote down.

 

“I love you.” Bucky smiled and stood from the couch.

 

“I'll let you two finish up here.” He picked up the empty popcorn bowl and headed to the kitchen.

 

“You what?” He heard Bruce ask.

 

“I love you. A lot.” Clint repeated.

 

“I love you too.” He heard Bruce say softly.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Bucky stood in the kitchen the next morning with his head on the counter while the coffee brewed. He was exhausted and the coffee was taking too long. He groaned and slid to the floor. Clint entered the kitchen and stopped when he saw Bucky lying on the floor.

 

“Why are you on the floor?” He asked, laughing a bit. Bucky groaned loudly and rolled over onto his face.

 

“I'm so tired.” Clint laughed and stepped over him to grab a mug out of the cabinet.

 

“You didn't sleep?”

 

“How could I sleep when Deepthroat the sequel was happening in the room next door?” Clint kicked him lightly in the side and stepped back over him.

 

“Shut up, asshole.” Bucky stood up slowly and walked around the island to sit down on one of the stools.

 

“Did you two have fun last night?” Bucky asked.

 

“I swear I'm gonna pour hot coffee on your head.” Clint said.

 

“Sorry but I stayed up most of the night having to listen to you, I at least want details.” Clint rolled his eyes.

 

“It was fun. Is that what to wanted to hear? Pervert.” Bucky laughed.

 

“I'm sure it was.” He said as Clint filled their mugs with coffee. He passed one across the counter to Bucky and took a sip of his own.

 

“He's amazing.” Clint said softly. Bucky smiled.

 

“He must be to make you scream like that.”

 

“I'm gonna kill you. Like straight up murder you.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------

 

Steve had been invited by Peggy to see her new place. She gushed about how she'd been allowed to pick whatever house or apartment she wanted and it would be paid for by the organization. So she and her fiancé had picked a loft in midtown that was stunning.

 

“Isn't it just gorgeous?” She said as she pulled him through the front door.

 

“It's much nicer than my place.” She smiled.

 

“I would say your flat is just as nice but I honestly can't. Just look at this place.” She said happily. Steve laughed.

 

“Are you gonna paint the walls?” She nodded.

 

“We're still deciding on a color. We're stuck between gold and burgundy. Angie says that gold will open the place up but you know how much I love red.” Steve frowned.

 

“Angie? Who's that?” Peggy chewed on her lip and put her hands on her hips.

 

“Oh right. I forgot to tell you that. Angie is my...fiancée.” Steve's jaw dropped.

 

“Your what?! Why didn't you tell me you were engaged to a woman?” She shrugged.

 

“It never came up.” He looked at her dumbfounded.

 

“I feel like that's something you mention off the bat, Peg!” She waved him off.

 

“Oh you don't care. You're the last person on earth who should be homophobic. Most of your friends are queer. And last I checked, so are you.” He crossed his arms.

 

“I'm just shocked that you are too.”

 

“It's not a big deal.”

 

There was a heavy silence between them before Steve cleared his throat. She looked up at him and arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

 

“So...when do I get to meet her?” Steve asked quietly. The sound of the front door opening broke their attention and Peggy smiled.

 

“Right now, apparently.” He heard shoes pad on the hardwood floor before a woman turned the corner with a bag of groceries in her arms. She seemed surprised to see Steve standing in their living room and looked at Peggy for an explanation.

 

“Darling, this is my very good friend Steve. Steve Rogers meet my fiancée Angie Martinelli.” Angie put the bag down and offered her hand. He shook it and she gave him a warm smile.

 

“So you're the ex-boyfriend? It's nice to finally meet you.” He smiled.

 

“It's nice to meet you too, Angie.” She picked the bag back up and bumped her hip against Peggy’s as she walked past her.

 

“Well let me know if he's staying for dinner, English.” Steve cocked an eyebrow.

 

“English?” Peggy blushed.

 

“Her pet name for me.”

 

“That's sweet.” Peggy grinned and pulled him towards the kitchen.

 

“Come help us make dinner. We're having ratatouille.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------

 

Bucky was sitting on his couch when his phone buzzed. He groaned but leaned forward and picked it up off the coffee table. He had a few notifications and one text message.

 

 **David: 3:17 pm**  
**You wanna get dinner??? :)**

 

 **Bucky: 3:17 pm**  
**what do you have in mind?**

 

 **David: 3:18 pm**  
**I was thinking Thai for dinner and you for dessert ;)**

 

Bucky laughed loudly and typed back.

 

 **Bucky: 3:18 pm**  
**why don't we get gelato for dessert? and you can have me later ;)**

 

 **David: 3:19 pm**  
**So am I staying the night tonight? Or no?**

 

Bucky chewed on his lip for a second. The last time David had been over, Bucky had kicked him out a few hours after he'd come over. But the idea of spending the night with someone besides Da Vinci was tempting.

 

 **Bucky: 3:21 pm**  
**ok but pick up lube and condoms. I'm out.**

 

 **David: 3:22 pm**  
**Sounds good. See you later babe :)**

 

“Who are you texting? And why are you smiling like an idiot?” Clint asked as he walked into the living room.

 

“David. We're making dinner plans. And if you and Bruce have plans, go to his place.”

 

“Bruce is out of town today so you can bring over your boyfriend. And don't worry about being loud. I'll just turn my ears off. Let me know if you want to borrow my handcuffs though.” He winked at Bucky and finished his trek to the kitchen.

 

“And you call me a pervert!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

David picked up Bucky around seven and handed him a small brown bag. Bucky raised an eyebrow and David winked at him.

 

“You could just say lube and condoms instead of being flirty.”

 

“It's supposed to be a sexy night. Give me a break.” Bucky gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

 

“I'll put these in my room really quick. And if Clint walks by, ignore him.”

 

Bucky ran to his room quickly to grab his shoes and put the bag in the drawer of his bedside table. He slipped his sneakers on quickly and eventually gave up on the shoelaces and just tucked them into the shoes. He left his room and reentered the living room to see David sitting on the couch, Da Vinci in his lap and Clint standing over him, interrogating him.

 

“Country of origin?”

 

“United States.”

 

“Age?”

 

“31.”

 

“Occupation?”

 

“I run an antiques store.”

 

“Do you manage it?”

 

“I own the shop.” Clint squinted at him and crossed his arms.

 

“Impressive.” Bucky walked over and shoved Clint away.

 

“What's with the third degree?”

 

“I'm your new father figure. It's my job to protect you.” Bucky wrinkled his nose.

 

“That's just creepy.” David just chuckled and continued petting Da Vinci. Bucky picked the cat up out of his lap and shoved him into Clint’s arms.

 

“Go snuggle Da Vinci or something. I have a date to go on.” David stood up and patted Clint’s shoulder.

 

“It was good seeing you Clint.” Clint nodded curtly.

 

“And...I saw you.” He walked off to his room and Bucky sighed.

 

“I'm sorry he's an asshole. He's not very happy that we're seeing each other.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because he wants me to date his friend Steve.” David frowned.

 

“Wasn't that the guy we saw with Sam?” Bucky nodded and grabbed his jacket off of the hook by the front door.  
“Yeah.” His eyes darkened and David crossed the room to look him in the eyes.

 

“Let's just go out to eat. And let's have a great time, ok?”

 

“Sounds great.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------

 

Steve was sitting in his studio working on a private piece that he knew would never see the outside of that very room. He didn't care though. It helped him relax from the stress of preparing for finals.

 

“STEVE!” Sam suddenly yelled from the living room. Steve dropped his brush and ran out of his studio down the hall. He looked around the living room confused.

 

“GET IN HERE!” Sam shouted from his room. He burst into Sam’s room and frowned when he saw his friend staring out his bedroom window.

 

“What?” Sam waved him over and he rolled his eyes but complied begrudgingly. He looked out the window and shrugged.

 

“What am I looking at?” Sam pointed across the street.

 

“That.”

 

Bucky was standing across the street with the guy Steve had met at the coffee shop. He frowned and crossed his arms.

 

“Why did you call me in here to look at that?”

 

“So we could gossip. And theorize how and when we think they'll break up.”

 

“That's messed up, Sam. You shouldn't hope for someone's relationship to end.” He watched David lean in and whisper something in Bucky’s ear and he felt his blood boil. “I give it another month.” He said angrily.

 

“Six weeks.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------

 

 **May 9th**  
\---------

 

“No way! Empire Strikes Back is the best.” David said throwing a piece of popcorn at Bucky. He laughed and shoved him away.

 

“I understand why people like it. It was epic. But Return of The Jedi will always be my favorite.” David shook his head in disbelief.

 

“My boyfriend is a crazy man.” Bucky arched an eyebrow.

 

“Boyfriend? When did we start using the “B” word?” David shrugged.

 

“We don't have to.” Bucky leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on his lips.

 

“I like it. I haven't had a boyfriend since I was 16.” David leaned into to him and nuzzled his nose against his neck.

 

“I had a couple of boyfriends when I was in high school. But I was also the most attractive person in that school.” He said cockily. Bucky chuckled.

 

“I'm sure you were.”

 

“Seriously though. I was voted most attractive by my peers.”

 

“That's a category?” David nodded. “Talk about a self esteem killer. Can you imagine being nominated and losing?”

 

“I can't imagine...because I won.” Bucky shoved him away with a laugh.

 

“Dude! Are you bringing David to Tony's party?!” Clint asked from the other room.

 

“I told you not to yell in the house!” He yelled back.

 

“Babe, you just yelled.” David said with an amused look.

 

"He's deaf. I'm allowed to yell.”

 

Clint popped his head around the corner and frowned.

 

“I asked if you're bringing David to Tony’s birthday party. Pepper needs to know so she has enough for everyone.” Bucky looked at David who nodded enthusiastically.

 

“I'd love to go. I'll never turn down free food and alcohol.”

 

“There isn't going to be any alcohol.” Clint said.

 

“Fuck. Well I'll still go.”

 

“Ok I'll email Pepper back.” He disappeared down the hall and David turned back to Bucky.

 

“A party? Sounds fun.” Bucky shrugged.

 

“I've been to like 3 this year. I'm kind of tired of parties.”

 

“Then why did you say yes to going?”

 

“Because Tony had gift bags at his New Year's Eve party. And he's always buying me stuff because he wants to experiment on me or something.” David looked horrified.

 

“He wants to do what?!” Bucky shook his head.

 

“He wants to attach some weird robot arm to my brain or something.” David’s jaw dropped.

 

“You're friends with Tony Stark?”

 

“We're acquaintances at best.” David chuckled.

 

“How would you feel about going to another party?” Bucky arched an eyebrow.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“My birthday is the 13th and my moms are throwing me a birthday party.” Bucky muttered a soft, “huh”, and David smiled.

 

“What?”

 

“Why didn't I know your birthday? And that you had two moms?” David laughed.

 

“Three moms actually.” Bucky knitted his brow.

 

“I'm confused.” David laughed.

 

“I was raised by my mom and dad. And then they started dating a woman when I was 4. And then my dad transitioned when I was 15. So now I have three beautiful moms.” He had nothing but pride in his voice and Bucky leaned forward to kiss him.

 

“I'd love to go.” David smiled.

 

“Awesome.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------

 

 **May 13th**  
\---------

 

The morning of David’s birthday, Bucky was up at the crack of dawn. Weak sunlight streamed through his blinds and he squinted at the light. He rolled over and buried his face into his pillow and groaned. He felt his bed shift and he lifted his head to see Clint spread across the other side of the bed.

 

“Clint?” Clint continued snoring and Bucky shoved him. “Clint!”

 

“What?!” Clint shot up in bed and looked around, panicky.

 

“Why the fuck are you in my bed?” Clint squinted in the dark room at Bucky and frowned.

 

“Oh shit. I got drunk and I think I got our rooms mixed up. Sorry.” He rubbed his eyes and sighed.

 

“It's fine.” Bucky sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

 

“Why are you getting up? It's like six in the morning.” Bucky sighed and opened his closet. He pulled out some clothes and threw them on his bed.

 

“David is picking me up in an hour and we're driving to Philly.”

 

“Philly? In the morning traffic? It's gonna take you two like 5 hours to get there.” Bucky sighed.

 

“Fuck. Seriously? I don't want to be stuck in a car that long.” Clint waved him off.

 

“You'll be fine. Traffic isn't that bad. Plus you'll probably pass through Princeton on your way there. It's a nice town.”

 

“Princeton?” _ _  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ _

__

___Bucky was patrolling, his M16 braced in his arms, and Lopez to his left. She was babbling about something he had no interest in and he sighed._ _ _

__

___“I hate long days.” She stopped talking and gave him an irritated look._ _ _

__

___“You're a dick, Sarge.” He chuckled._ _ _

__

___“Why's that?”_ _ _

__

___“I'm not some sexy guy so you never listen to me.” He snorted._ _ _

__

___“That's not true. I listen.”_ _ _

__

___“Then what was I saying?” She asked, her eyebrow raised. She lowered her sunglasses and stared at him. He stared back at her for a moment before lowering his head in defeat._ _ _

__

___“I have no clue.” He answered sheepishly. She laughed and pushed her sunglasses back up._ _ _

__

___“I figured.” He sighed._ _ _

__

___“Sorry, Lopez. What were you saying?”_ _ _

__

___“I was saying, my little sister got accepted to Princeton. She got her acceptance letter yesterday. I'm so proud of her.” She said, beaming at him._ _ _

__

___“Awesome! She majoring in law?” She nodded._ _ _

__

___“Yeah. She wants to specialize in-” She was cut off by a bullet whizzing past her head._ _ _

__

___Bucky grabbed the back of her uniform and slammed her to the ground. She made pained noise but he just dropped down next to her. They shuffled down into the ditch they had been standing by and he grabbed his radio._ _ _

__

___“This is Sergeant Barnes! We've got hostile fire! I repeat, we have hostile fire at patrol post Charlie Echo Delta! We need reinforcements immediately! Over!” He had one hand across Lopez’s back and he could feel her shaking in fear._ _ _

__

___“Deep breaths, kid.” She drew in a shaky breath and he rubbed her back._ _ _

__

___“Sergeant Barnes, you've got reinforcements headed your way. ETA two minutes. Over.” He heard a voice crackle over his radio._ _ _

__

___“Two minutes?!” She asked, panicky._ _ _

__

___“Lopez! You need to calm down!” She looked at him and nodded._ _ _

__

___“I'm scared, Sarge.” He patted her back and pressed his belly further into the dirt._ _ _

__

___“So am I, kid.” More bullets whizzed by and he moved closer to her. He put his arms over her head and his head by her face._ _ _

__

___“What are you doing?!”_ _ _

__

___“Covering you!”_ _ _

__

___The roar of a Humvee broke their attention and he looked up to see Dum Dum hop out and start firing at the enemies. Gabe and Morita hopped out too and focused fire as Monty rushed over to them and pulled them up to their feet._ _ _

__

___Bucky grabbed Lopez’s arm and pulled her over to the Humvee. He heard a bullet whiz past his own head and he ducked. Lopez suddenly went limp and he turned to look at her. Her eyes were open and there was a bullet hole a few inches above her left eye._ _ _

__

___“Lopez!”_ _ _

__

___“Leave her!” Monty shouted. Bucky shook his head._ _ _

__

___“No! I'm not gonna just abandon her!”_ _ _

__

___“She's gone, Barnes! It's too late for her! We can't pull her out now! Not while we're surrounded and outnumbered!” Bucky glanced back at her before nodding and letting Monty pull him into the Humvee._  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ _

__

“Dude...are you ok?” Bucky snapped back to reality to see Clint standing next to him, are concerned look on his face.

 

“What?”

 

“You zoned out. You were gone for like 10 minutes. Are you ok?”

 

“She was so scared.” He said quietly. Clint raised his eyebrow, clearly worried.

 

“Who was?”

 

“Lopez. She was gonna go see her sister in six months. She wanted to see her graduate from high school.” Clint put his hands on Bucky's cheeks and shook him a little, getting him to look up at him.

 

“You shouldn't go out today.” Bucky frowned and rubbed his eyes. Clint lowered his hands and watched him.

 

“No. I have to. I can't bail on David.”

 

“I don't give a shit. You're staying home.” He walked past him and grabbed his phone off the bedside table. Bucky reached for it but Clint dodged him and ran out of the room. Bucky sighed and followed him out.

 

Clint had rushed down the hall and locked himself in the bathroom. Bucky grabbed the doorknob and twisted it but it didn't budge. He banged on the door and continued jimmying the knob but nothing worked.

 

“Hey, David? This is Clint. Bucky is not gonna make it out today.”

 

“DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! HE'S A LIAR!” Bucky shouted through the door.

 

“Yeah. He had a bad flashback. He was gone for like 15 minutes.”

 

“YOU SAID 10!” He heard Clint scoff and he rolled his eyes.

 

“You could come here but I don't think it's safe for him out there today.” There was a pause before he heard Clint mutter an agreement. “Awesome. I'll let him know.”

 

There was silence before the door opened and Clint handed him back his phone. He headed towards the kitchen and Bucky pocketed his phone. He followed his roommate who was already standing in front of the open fridge drinking juice from the carton.

 

“Clint! What the hell dude? You lie to my boyfriend and now you're drinking juice from the carton? What's wrong with you?!” Clint swallowed hard and put the carton on the counter.

 

“Shut up. Something triggered you. And you were gone for way too long. David is coming here now instead.” Bucky sighed and slumped across the counter.

 

“I ruined his birthday.” Clint walked over to him and placed a hand on his back.

 

“Oh stop it. He'll understand.” Bucky sighed and looked up.

 

“I hope so.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

David showed up at their apartment an hour later, a large plastic bag in his hand. Bucky opened the door, a frown on his face and David smiled. He kissed his cheek before walking past him into the apartment.

 

“I'm sorry.” David put the bag on the dining room table and waved him off.

 

“Don't apologize. We all have bad days. Even me.” He smiled sheepishly and started pulling Styrofoam boxes out of the bag.

 

“What's that?” David turned to him and grinned.

 

“Well, since we're staying here today, I thought some hot breakfast would be nice.” Bucky smiled and sat down at the table. David pushed one of them in front of him and passed him a fork.

 

“Is Clint awake? I brought him some food.” Bucky shrugged.

 

“I don't know. He went back to his room after he violated my cranberry juice.” David snorted.

 

“I'll check.” Bucky watched him disappear down the hallway before sighing deeply.

 

He opened the case and the smell of syrup wafted up. There were hot waffles covered in syrup, sausages off to the side, and a small omelette. He dug in and started scarfing down the hit food. There was a thump behind him and he saw David walking back with a half asleep Clint behind him.

 

“Good morning again, sleeping beauty. You find your bed this time?” Clint flipped him off and sat down at the table.

 

“Never a dull moment with you two is there?” David asked.

 

“It'd be boring if there was.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------

 

Natasha flew back home on the 19th. She'd shown up on their doorstep, jet lagged and hungry but the first thing she did when Sam opened the door was throw her arms around his neck and kiss him.

 

“Nice to see you too.” Sam said, clearly amused. Steve just chuckled and turned his attention back to grading the sketches in front of him.

 

“I'm exhausted. And starving. And I want to get out of this damn uniform.” She pulled her hat off and undid her bun. Her hair cascaded around her shoulders.

 

“Come up to my place with me.” She said, shoving her hat in her pocket.

 

“I've got a class to go to, Nat.” She pouted.

 

“Just for an hour or two.” He kissed her forehead.

 

“I promise we'll catch up later. But I've got finals coming up and I can't afford to miss this class.” She sighed and nodded.

 

“I understand. I'll see you later.” He gave her another tight hug and a kiss and shouldered his backpack.

 

She entered the apartment and laid down on the couch. She groaned and rolled over so her face was buried in the back of the couch.

 

“How was Afghanistan?” Steve asked, pushing his glasses up his nose.

 

“Hot and dry. Just like always.”

 

“Successful missions?”

 

“They're always successful when I lead them.”

 

“Out of 10?”

 

“8.6.” He nodded.

 

This was their routine every time she came from a job. She'd crash on the couch and he'd ask her some questions. It helped her wind down.. He liked it.

 

“Anything exciting happen while I was gone?” She asked.

 

“Clint and Bruce are officially a couple, Tony and Pepper officially adopted Mali, Thor and Jane got married, and Bucky has a boyfriend.” He looked over his shoulder to see her staring at him in shock.

 

“What the fuck? I'm gone for a month. A month! Jesus Christ. This is what I get for taking a job where I'm not allowed to communicate with the outside world.”

 

“Well you're up for retirement in five years.”

 

“So Barnes is seeing someone?” He looked back at her.

 

“That's your takeaway.”

 

“Well I knew about Mali. And Bruce and Clint isn't a surprise. Jane and Thor were always going to elope. But Barnes...I wasn't expecting that.”

 

“It's not a big deal. He's a nice guy.”

 

“What's his name?”

 

“I'm not telling you because you'll just do a background check on him like you do with everyone else.” She shrugged.

 

“It's what I do. By the way, did the police ever drop that assault charge on you from when you were 14?”

 

Steve threw a pen at her.  
\------------------------------------------------------------

 

 **May 27th**  
\----------

 

Tony had his birthday dinner on the Saturday before his actual birthday. He'd gone all out for it too. Steve wasn't surprised when he'd pulled into the parking garage under Stark Tower and saw the entire building lit up. Happy had greeted him by the elevator with a scowl on his face and a balloon tied to his wrist.

 

“Tony make you wear that?” Happy nodded.

 

“Who else would?”

 

“You love it.” Tony said over the intercom.

 

“I'll see you later, Happy.” He nodded and moved aside for Steve to board the elevator.

 

The ride up was quiet and slow and he wondered why J.A.R.V.I.S wasn't talking to him like usual. He figured the AI was shut down or busy and shrugged it off. When he reached the main living quarters for Tony and Pepper, the smell of garlic assaulted him.

 

“What's with the garlic?” He asked as he walked in. The dining table was in the center of the room, covered with flowers and fine china.

 

“There was a cooking mishap.” Pepper explained. “J.A.R.V.I.S could you filter the air?”

 

“Yes Mrs. Potts.” There was a muted noise and the smell quickly began to disappear.

 

“Caterers messed up?” She smiled and shook her head.

 

“Tony did. He decided to cook Italian food. He used his nona’s recipe for pasta e fagioli. He also decided to make bread with a garlic sauce and he burned it.”

 

“I should probably go help him right?” She nodded enthusiastically and gave him a quick hug.

 

“You're a lifesaver, Steve.”

 

He wandered over to the kitchen where Tony was scraping burned garlic bread into the garbage. The smell was stronger in the kitchen and he covered his nose.

 

“Oh God, Tony. What the hell happened?”

 

“I'll stab you, Cap. Just watch me.” Steve chuckled and lifted the charred saucepan off the stove.

 

“Once in a lifetime is enough for me.” Tony snorted and threw the pan on the counter.

 

“I give up. I'm just gonna call my backup.” Steve raised an eyebrow.

“Backup?” Tony nodded and lifted his phone to his ear.

“You think I'm gonna attempt to cook without having a backup.” Steve laughed and left Tony to talk to his caterer.

When he reentered the lounge, more people had arrived. He saw Natasha and Sam chatting idly with some people he didn't recognize. Thor and Jane were speaking softly to one another and nibbling on hors d'oeuvres that had likely been ordered earlier that day.

"Hey, Steve." He turned to see Bucky approaching him with a small smile on his face. He noticed that David wasn't with him and he mentally cheered.

"Hey. How are you?"

"I'm doing really good actually. David and I went to this great art museum this afternoon." Steve smiled but he felt his heart deflate.

"Awesome. Which one?" Bucky shrugged.

"I have no clue." Steve looked over Bucky's shoulder to see David enter the room, his coat draped over his arm. He limped as he walked and Steve frowned.

"Is he ok?" Bucky looked back at David who'd stopped to talk to Pepper.

"He's fine. Why?"

"He's got a bad limp."

"Oh that? He's got a minor leg injury. He lost the damn thing." Steve covered his mouth in shock and Bucky chuckled. "I know it seems dark but he said the exact thing to a waitress a few days ago. She was horrified."  
Steve laughed a bit and Bucky smiled.

David approached the two of them and smiled brightly. He draped an arm around Bucky's shoulders and offeed Steve a hand. Steve shook it firmly and smiled.

"Nice to see you again, David."

"You too, Steve."

"So we're gonna go say hi to Sam. Can we talk later?" Bucky asked. Steve nodded and watched the two of them walk away.

"That was pathetic." Steve turned to see Peggy standing behind him. He smiled brightly and she wrapped her arms around him.

"Tony invited you?" She nodded and ran a hand through her hair.

"Of course he did. We are decent friends, you know?" He laughed softly.

"So that's Bucky?" He nodded and she hummed appreciatively

"He is delectable." She said with a mischievous grin.

"You're engaged!" He teased.

"I can look. I just can't touch. Like art in a museum." She said, her eyes lighting up. He laughed and she smiled so big her eyes crinkled.

"Where's Angie?"

"Busy. Unfortunately her work hours are not as flexible as mine. So she works strange hours and days." He nodded and turned back to look across the room. His eyes landed on Bucky again and Peggy put her arm through his. He felt a shiver run down his spine and he frowned.

"I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen tonight." She said ominously.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several hours later, when the party was in full swing and the party had well over three hundred people in attendance (280 more than Pepper and Tony wanted), Steve was fully and completely bored. There was no alcohol for him to pound back in hopes of getting drunk for the first time in five years.

So he chatted with people he barely knew and drank too much sparkling grape juice for a regular human being. Which left him needing the bathroom more than he ever had in his life. He wandered away from the group he was talking with to head towards the bathroom. Surprisingly it was empty and he mentally sent up a little prayer.

He peed quickly and washed his hands. The mirror above the sink was vibrating slightly from the music playing. He patted his hands dry on a towel and exited the bathroom. As he headed back towards the party, he tripped on something and took a hard fall to the ground.

"Oh shit! Sorry!" He turned to see David who was offering a hand out to him. He grabbed it and David lifted him off the ground.

"I didn't hurt you right?" Steve asked.

"Me? You're the one who took a swan dive to the floor." Steve chuckled before furrowing his brow.

"Why are you hiding back here?" David frowned.

"I'm not having a great night."

"Are you ok?" He shook his head.

"I've got my dream guy sitting out there. And he won't stop talking about you."

"Oh...I'm sorry." David waved him off.

"It's fine. It's not your fault and I'm not blaming you at all. I'm just upset." Steve patted his shoulder reassuringly. There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them before David cleared his throat.

"Promise me something?" He finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Sure." Steve agreed, confused.

"Don't hurt him like I have to." He walked away and Steve's face fell.

Damn Peggy and her intuition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If my use of the word "queer" offends you, I am truly sorry. I know it's a sensitive word for some people. It's part of my regular vocabulary so I donto really care about adding it to my fics. Again, sorry :)


	7. June

_**June**_  
\---------------

Bucky stood outside the building, waiting for David to pick him up. They had made plans to go to group together the night before. But something was off with David. He'd sounded nervous on the phone and Bucky had brushed it off initially but now he was a bit worried. He tapped his foot and looked towards the end of street. He saw David’s SUV and smiled, relieved. He pulled up outside the building and Bucky walked around to hop into the backseat.

“Hey.” He looked up at David who clenched the wheel and pulled back onto the road. “You ok?”

“What?” David asked, looking at him in the mirror. 

“Are you ok? You seem...off.” David nodded.

“I'm fine, Buck.” Bucky raised an eyebrow in suspicion but nodded and leaned back in his seat.

They arrived at the VA about an hour later and David seemed to get more and more nervous with every passing minute. When they signed in inside, David’s hand was shaking and even the desk clerk seemed worried. Finally, Bucky got tired of it and pulled him aside before group started.

“Babe. What the hell is wrong?” David drew in a deep breath and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“I love you. So fucking much. It's honestly the scariest thing ever.” Bucky nodded.

“I hear a “ _but_ ” coming.” David clenched his jaw.

“But...I can't see you anymore.” Bucky frowned. 

“Wait? Are you breaking up with me?” David nodded.

“I'm so sorry. But I can't be with someone who won't…can't love me back. At least not the way I want them too.” Bucky sighed and looked down at his feet.

“I'm sorry. I love you too, I just...I'm so sorry.” David cupped his cheeks and kissed him lightly on his forehead.

“I know baby. It's not your fault.” He smiled at him and leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips.

“This sucks.” Bucky said softly after David pulled away.

“So we're not soulmates. It happens. Maybe in another life.” He said, smiling. Bucky nodded and smiled back at him.

“Maybe.” David kissed him once more before walking into the room.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 _ **June 17th**_  
\---------------

“So...what are you doing for my birthday?” Clint asked as he flopped down on the couch next to Bucky.

“Birthday?” He asked, an eyebrow raised. 

“Yeah.” Clint said, his face falling. “My birthday is this week.” 

“Oh shit. I totally forgot dude. I've been out of it lately. Is it today?”

“Tomorrow.” He said softly.

“Oh that's Sunday. We'll just get Chinese food and rent a movie tonight.” Clint’s shoulders fell.

“Oh ok. Sounds...nice.” He stood and walked towards the front door.

“Where are you going?” 

“Out. I'll be back later.” He slipped his sneakers on and stormed out the front door. Bucky waited a few moments after he left before sitting up.

“OK Bruce you can come out now.” He heard his bedroom door open and Bruce emerged with two large paper bags in his arms.

“We've got to get this place set up.” He said setting one of the bags down.

“Do you want me to text Sam and ask him to come over to help?” Bruce nodded.

“Yeah. We're going to need it.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam showed up with Steve in tow about five minutes later. Steve had a huge box in his hands and Bruce grabbed it excitedly and brought it into the kitchen.

“What's that?” Bucky asked.

“His cake. Bruce asked me to make it.” 

“Cool.” Steve nodded and Sam looked between the two of them before walking away slowly.

“I'm gonna ask Bruce what I need to do.” He left for the kitchen and Bucky and Steve stood in the living, an awkward silence hanging between them. 

“So…” Steve finally spoke. “How's David doing?” Bucky shrugged.

“I don't know. He dumped me two weeks ago.” 

“Oh. I'm sorry.” Bucky nodded and there was an awkward silence.

“Let's hang up decorations or something.” Steve finally suggested. Bucky nodded.

Bruce left the kitchen and walked over to Steve.

“Actually, do you think you could start making the food now? We've only got a few hours before he's back.”

“How do you know that? He stormed out without saying where he was going.” Bucky asked.

“He's at the archery range. That's where he goes when he's upset. Or angry. Or bored.” 

“How long will he be gone?” Bucky asked.

“At least two hours. So we've got to hurry.” He said pulling a box of fairy lights out of one of the bags.

“I'll start cooking.” Steve said heading towards the kitchen.

“Let's get to work.” Sam said, clapping his hands together.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky was drenched in sweat after 40 minutes of cleaning and hanging lights up. He hadn't realized how much more difficult cleaning was with only one arm. 

“I think we're done.” Bruce said stepping back and surveying the work they'd done.

“Fucking finally!” Bucky said sitting on the couch.

“You barely did anything. Why are you complaining?” Sam said.

“I had to lift you onto my shoulders and I had to decorate a banner and clean. I did a lot.”

“You both did equal amounts of work.” Bruce said, trying to placate them.

“I definitely did mo-” Sam’s complaining was cut off by Bruce’s phone ringing. He held up a finger to silence them. He pulled his small flip phone out and answered.

“Hey Clint.” He put the phone on speaker.

“Hey babe, I think I'm gonna pick up some food. Do you want to come over and eat some Pad Thai or something?” 

“Actually I already placed an order and I was gonna bring some food over. Are you headed home now?” His voice wavered slightly and he chewed on his lip.

“No. I'm shooting right now. I'll probably leave here in 20 minutes or so. See you later. Love you.”

“I love you too. I'll see you soon.” He hung up and sighed in relief.

“OK we've still got time.” There was knock at the door and Bruce checked his watch. “And the guests are arriving now. Sam, please get the door. Bucky can you check in on Steve?” He asked.

Bucky could how stressed he was and nodded. Bruce thanked him and walked over to the living room to turn on some music. Bucky headed to the kitchen and immediately saw Steve sitting on the counter swinging his legs as he stared at his phone.

“This doesn't look like cooking.” Bucky said with a smile. Steve looked up and shrugged.

“Food is almost done. I'm basically just keeping it warm for now.” 

“Well Clint said he's gonna be here soon.”

“What'd you get him?” Steve asked. Bucky looked confused.

“What do you mean?” Steve raised an eyebrow.

“A gift. What'd you get him?”

“Why does he need a gift? He's a grown man.” Steve gave him a quizzical look.

“Adults like presents too. Plus, he probably won't talk to you for like a month if you don't have something. Sam didn't get him something last year and he ignored him for almost three weeks.” Bucky grimaced.

“Fuck. I can't get him anything now. It's too late.”

“You can order something and say it'll be here later.” Steve suggested. Bucky nodded approvingly.

“Smart. Thanks man.” Steve nodded and looked back down at his phone. Bucky stepped forward and raised an eyebrow. He tried to get a look at Steve's face and the younger man looked up and gave him a confused look. 

“What?”

“Are you ignoring me?” 

“No...yes...kinda.” He said putting his phone aside.

“Why?” 

“Because David told me something at the party.” 

“What'd he tell you?” 

“Uh…I'm not sure if I should say.”

“Dude.” Bucky said.

“Don't worry. It's nothing bad.” Bucky seemed a little less nervous and leaned against the counter.

“So what'd you get him?”

“A $100 gift card to Pizza Hut.”

“Seriously?” Steve nodded. “He might marry you for that.” He laughed.

“What do you want to get him?” Bucky shrugged.

“I'll wait to see what everyone else gets him and then get him something better.” Steve chuckled and nodded.

“Good plan.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Clint finally walked through the front door, the party was in full swing. He seemed shocked when everyone yelled “ _surprise_ ” but his face broke out in a huge smile anyways. Thor wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him to the center of the room.

“Happy birthday, my friend!” 

“Oh my God! What is happening right now?” He asked, his voice full of joy and surprise.

“It's your last year being in your 30’s. You thought we were just gonna let it slide?” Natasha asked. He rolled his eyes but gave Thor a side hug and grinned.

“Thank you guys! So much!”

“Don't thank us. Your boyfriend is the one who's been planning it since April.” Sam piped up. He looked at Bruce who smiled softly and tucked his hands in his pockets. Clint crossed the room and threw an arm around his shoulders.

“Of course he did. ‘Cause he's freaking amazing.” He kissed his cheek and Tony cleared his throat.

“Can we eat now? Because the smell is killing me and you're like an hour late.” Clint flipped him off.

“Go eat, dickhead.” Someone turned the music back on and the party resumed.

Bucky walked over to Clint and slapped him on the back. Clint winced and glared at him. 

“Happy birthday, roomie.”

“You lied to me.” Clint said, accusingly. Bucky laughed.

“There was no way I was gonna tell you the truth. I've heard about Bruce’s anger issues and I wasn't risking a broken jaw to protect your feelings.” Bruce frowned.

“I wouldn't have punched you...probably.”

“You better have gotten me a sick ass gift.” Bucky threw him a finger gun and winked.

“You know it.” Bruce gave him a suspicious look and Bucky shook his head just slightly enough that only Bruce noticed. 

“I'm sure he got you something great.” Clint smiled.

“When can I see it? Now?” Bucky opened his mouth to speak but Bruce just placed a hand over Clint’s mouth. 

“Patience. We'll eat first and then you can open your gifts.” Clint pouted a bit but nodded and joined everyone else in the kitchen.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clint was positively giddy when Natasha reached into her purse and pulled out a purple envelope. He smiled and she laughed before handing it to him. 

“He looks like a kid on Christmas morning.” Steve said with a smile. Bucky nodded. 

“He's like a little kid. It's honestly kind of adorable.” 

Clint carefully opened the envelope and quickly read the card inside. He laughed and gave Natasha a tight hug. She grinned and patted his back.

“This is amazing. Thank you, Nat.” 

“What'd she get you?” Tony asked.

“An all expense paid trip for two to Orlando.” 

“Oh sweet. You and Banner can go make out in front of Mickey Mouse instead of me.” Bucky piped up. There was a ripple of laughter throughout the room and Clint flipped him off.

“Screw you.” Bucky said with a laugh.

“I thought that was Banner’s job?” Tony asked. Pepper nudged him and he snorted.

“Let's just keep giving gifts people.” Natasha said, handing him a box off the coffee table. 

“It's from me.” Sam announced with a smile.

Clint continued opening his gifts, giving a hug to Sam when he saw the custom sneakers he'd gotten him. Tony had given him a special pair of headphones he'd designed especially for him. Steve had given him the gift card which got him a choked up thank you. Thor and Jane had gotten him tickets to an EDM festival that was going to be in Manhattan the following month.

“Damn. Who’re you bringing to the festival?” Bucky asked as he leaned against through back of the sofa.

“Probably Nat. All of you guys hate it. And it stresses Bruce out.” 

“Sweet.” Natasha said, with an appreciative nod.

“What'd you get him?” Bucky asked, nudging Bruce. Clint turned to him and smiled.

“Yeah what'd you get me?” Bruce bit his lip when everyone's eyes turned to him but he stood anyways.

“Uh...one second.” He started to head down the hall before turning to look at Thor. “Do you think you could help me carry his gift, Thor?” Thor nodded and followed Bruce down the hallway.

“What the fuck did he get you?” Bucky asked, intrigued. Clint shrugged.

Bruce came down the hallway a few minutes later, holding one end of a large box while Thor carried the other end. Sam whistled lowly and Bruce smiled. 

They laid the box on the coffee table and stepped back. It was wrapped in black wrapping paper with a giant electric purple bow on the top. The box was twice the size of their coffee table and Bucky gaped at it. 

“Holy shit!” Clint said, his eyes wide.

“Open it.” Tony urged. 

Clint pulled the bow off and laid it aside. Bruce had wrapped the box in such a way that Clint just needed to lift the lid. He laid the lid on the floor and moved the tissue paper aside.

“Bruce.” He said softly, in awe.

Laying in the box was the coolest looking bow Bucky had ever seen. And he hadn't seen very many. There were about 12 arrows lying next to it and they were tied together with another, smaller purple ribbon.

“Do you like it?” Bruce asked softly.

“I think I'm gonna pass out.” He answered, lifting the bow out of the box.

“That means yes.” Natasha translated. 

“I think I'm just gonna pay his Spotify and Netflix subscriptions for the next year.” Bucky whispered to Steve.

“Throw in a hoodie and you'll be golden.”   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Clint stopped gushing over his bow everybody went back to mingling. Bucky had disappeared into the kitchen to grab another beer and he was leaning against the counter to take a breath. He sipped his beer and relaxed for a few minutes before Steve entered with his hands full of beer bottles.

Bucky put down his beer and moved from the counter to pull the recycling bin out from under the sink. Steve crouched and laid the bottles down neatly. He used his foot to slide it next to the trash can and opened the fridge to grab a beer.

“It's only 10 and I'm exhausted.” Steve said popping the bottle open.

“Long day.” He snorted and took a long drink.

“12 more days until school is out. So I've been working my ass off like crazy preparing for finals. I've got 137 senior projects to grade. 137!” He took another long drink and Bucky frowned.

“Sounds like you need something stronger than beer. I've got some spiced rum in my room if you want me to go grab the bottle.” Steve shook his head.

“No I'm fine. Just a little stressed. I'll get over it.”

"Well 12 days isn't so bad.” 

"You've never taught teenagers before have you?”

"Well I yelled at teenagers in the army. Does that count?” Steve laughed.

"I guess.”

There was a silence in the room as they drank their beer and snacked on tortilla chips and salsa. Finally Steve cleared his throat and Bucky looked at him.

"David told me he was going to break up with you at Tony's party.” Bucky's face fell and he lowered his drink.

"What?” Steve's face reddened and he looked at the floor.

"He didn't outright say it but I think he hinted at it.” Bucky turned so he was facing Steve.

"What did he say?”

“ _Don't hurt him like I have to._ ”

"Fuck.” He said, his voice shaking.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you. I just didn't want to upset you.”

Bucky laid his beer down and grabbed the front of Steve’s shirt. The younger man flinched and waited for Bucky to hit him or knee him in the balls or even tell him to leave and never come back. But instead he felt him kiss him instead. He was surprised and didn't move for several seconds. 

Bucky pulled away and grimaced, clearly mortified at what he'd done. He let go of Steve's shirt and smoothed it down. 

“Sorry.” 

“Don't be.” 

Steve grabbed him and kissed him. Now it was Bucky's turn to be surprised but he kissed Steve back. They stood there in the middle of the kitchen holding on to each other, lips locked for several seconds.

“Oh.” They pulled away to see Pepper standing in the entrance, a crumpled napkin in her hand and a wineglass in the other.

“Shit.” They said in unison. She smiled and threw the napkin away.

“Don't worry. My lips are sealed.” She motioned zipping her lips and the two of them sighed in relief.

“Thanks Pepper.” She shrugged. 

“No need to thank me. It's not my business to tell.” She winked and walked away. 

They were alone again and Bucky grabbed his bottle and finished off his drink before dropping it in the recycling. He grabbed a soda can off the counter and backed away from Steve.

“I'm gonna go grab some food. See you.” He walked out the kitchen and Steve smiled and fist pumped the air.  
\--------------------------------------------------------

“So what'd you and Bucky talk about last night?” Sam asked Steve the next morning.

“We just chatted.” Sam raised an eyebrow.

“Oh really?” Steve nodded.

“Yeah. Why?” 

“You both looked a little too disheveled to have been “ _just talking_ ”. So what were you really doing?” Steve blushed.

“Making out.” Sam clapped his hands and laughed.

“I fucking knew it! I mean I didn't _know_ but I knew. You know?” Steve stared at confused. 

“No. I have no clue what you're saying.” Sam waved him off.

“Yeah you do. So tell me,” Sam started, sitting on one of the stools at their island. “How good of a kisser is he when he's not kissing you without you kissing back?” 

“Actually, he kissed me and I didn't kiss him back.” Sam groaned in frustration.

“What the fuck dude!”

“I kissed him back...eventually.”

“And?” He asked.

“It was good. Great. It was great.” 

“Ooh la la!” He stuck his left index finger in the circle of his right hand in a lewd manner and Steve grimaced. 

“You're disgusting.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------

 _ **June 30th, 2017. 11:54 pm**_  
________________

Clint almost tripped over Bucky when he was sneaking into the kitchen to steal Bucky’s moose track ice cream. He was sitting in the center of the pathway between their rooms and the bathroom and the living room, dining room, and kitchen. He was resting his head on his hands and had a thoughtful look on his face.

“What are you doing in the middle of our hallway?”

“Thinking. What are your doing? Abandoning Bruce and your movie to steal my ice cream?” Clint laughed uncomfortably.

“What? No!” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Go ahead. I don't care.” He went back to staring at the floor. Clint turned to head back towards the kitchen before he stopped and spun around face Bucky.

“What's going on with you man? You're spaced out.” He sat on the floor next to him and leaned against the wall.

“I kissed Steve at your party. And he kissed me back. Now I'm trying to decide whether or not I want to eat some black beans and rice and watch Z Nation. Or go do something ridiculously stupid.” Clint crossed his arms and stretched his legs out.

“What stupid thing?”

“Make a move.”

“I say go for it.” Bucky sighed and sat up, straightening out his back.

“Of course you do. You're an idiot.” 

“Oh shut up. You did this with me and Bruce so now I'm doing the same to you. Get off your ass, make yourself presentable, and go talk to him.” Bucky nodded and stood up. 

Clint stood up with him and watched the younger man run his fingers through his hair and sigh. He crossed his arms and tapped his foot on the ground. He seemed to be debating what to do. Clint eventually grabbed the back of his hoodie and dragged him to the front door.

“Go to him.” Bucky nodded.

“If it works the way I want, I'll be back tomorrow morning. If not, five minutes. Either way, don't wait up. I've got my keys.” 

He left the apartment and Clint smiled before locking the door and heading back towards the kitchen for ice cream.  
\--------------------------------------------------------

Bucky took a deep breath and looked down at his watch. Two minutes to midnight. Then it would be July and Steve would probably be too caught up in the excitement of his nearing birthday to care. He exhaled and rapped the Shave and A Haircut knock on the door. The door opened 30 seconds later and Steve poked his head out. 

“Hey Bucky. What's up?” He was blushing slightly and Bucky smiled.

“I can't stop thinking about us at Clint’s party.” Steve smiled and opened the door wider.

“Neither can I.”

“So what do we do about it?”

“I don't know.”

There was an awkward silence between them before Bucky's watch began beeping. He looked down to see it counting to midnight. 49 seconds away. He looked up at Steve and smiled.

_35 seconds._

“Bucky?”

_27 seconds._

“Steve?”

_18 seconds._

“Kiss me.” 

_10 seconds._

Bucky grinned and grabbed the front of Steve's shirt and pressed his lips against his hard.

_5._

Steve wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer.

_4._

Bucky ran his fingers through Steve's hair.

_3._

Steve pulled him into the hallway.

_2._

Bucky's breath quickened.

_1._

Steve kicked the front door shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! June! 3 days before it ends but pssh! Whatever. At least I uploaded in the right month on time.


	8. July

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thatwriterlady for the smut! You're a real OG.

**_July 1st, 2017_**  
_____________

Bucky backed Steve up until he was pressed against the wall, all the while kissing the breath right out of him. He nudged his thigh between Steve’s legs, feeling how hard the other man already was. Strong hands were gripping his sweatshirt so hard, he heard a few seams tear as he was dragged forward even more. His mind swirled with need, with want, with desire. He’d never wanted anyone half as much as he wanted Steve. 

“There are so many things I want to do to you right now.” The words were spoken heatedly against Steve’s lips when they’d finally come up for air and when he lifted his head slightly, rather than see the bright blue eyes that Steve always saw the world with, he instead was looking into hooded ones, dark with lust.

“Like?” 

Bucky bit his lower lip as he took a half step back, his eyes trailing down the warm, pliant, aroused body in front of him. Steve’s erection was pressing painfully against the front of his pants and suddenly he wanted so badly to get that in his mouth.

“Bedroom. Now.” His voice was thick with his own arousal, but he was curious whether Steve would follow the order or fight back. Pushing off the wall, Steve started backing up towards the bedroom, pulling his shirt off in the process.

“Well? I’m in the bedroom. What are your plans, Buck?” Steve arched an eyebrow from his spot just inside the doorway. Bucky huffed out a short laugh and marched towards the room. Steve backed up further, until his legs hit the bed. With one single push to his chest, Bucky shoved him back until he landed on it with a soft thump.

“I’m thinking we’re going to get naked, then I’m going to shove your dick in my mouth, see how much I can swallow. It should be the entire thing because guess what?” Bucky was pulling his hoodie off as he talked, watching the way Steve followed his hands. When he finally yanked it off and the hoodie fell away to expose his chest, Steve looked up, meeting his stare. “I don’t have a gag reflex.”

Steve wasted no time in kicking off his shoes and unbuckling his belt. He popped the button on his jeans and barely had the zipper down before he was shimmying out of them, taking his boxers off in the process. Bucky admired the view for a long moment. Steve was built, his body one of the most perfect he’d ever seen, and the sheer size of his dick was impressive. A rather pleasant surprise. He smirked and began undoing his own pants. The pressure was downright painful and the moment he was free of the confines of his clothing, he sighed with relief. Steve sat forward, grabbing his pants and pulling them down.

“I want to taste you.” 

Bucky throbbed just hearing that. He gave a jerky nod, his own eyes widening as Steve’s mouth closed around him. Fuck that felt amazing! Steve was looking up at him through his lashes as inch by inch, his swallowed him down. He had a gag reflex though, and only got about halfway before he came back up, swirling his tongue around the head and dipping into the slit, making Bucky hiss. Steve flattened his tongue and pressed it against the glans, just under the head while he used one hand to stroke him. His other hand cupped Bucky’s balls, rolling them gently before sliding past them to rub at the perineum. 

“Fuck!” The word escaped before Bucky could catch himself. This was probably in the top 10 best category for blow jobs. When Steve closed his mouth around him again, he reached up, catching Bucky’s hand and moving it to the back of his head. He knew exactly what Steve was telling him. This was permission to fuck into the man’s mouth, and it was one of the hottest things he’d ever experienced. Sex was usually quick and dirty, getting what he wanted and getting out, but that wasn’t what he wanted here. He blamed David for opening up a part of him he had never realized could even be accessed.

Steve’s pace was slow at first, rocking forward and back, hollowing his cheeks every time he moved back. His tongue was sliding along the underside, massaging at the glans like it was the best tasting thing in the world and holy hell, this had just moved from the top ten to the top five best blow jobs he’d ever had! Steve grabbed his ass, pulling him forward and encouraging him to start moving. He tightened his grip in those blonde locks and began thrusting, shallowly at first, loving the tight, wet heat when Steve hollowed his cheeks, and the way his dick vibrated when he would tightened his hand in the man’s hair, causing Steve to moan. It was hot, both to watch and to experience. His thrusts increased in speed until he was well and truly “fucking” into Steve’s mouth. Soft praises slipped out unbidden, falling on Steve’s ears and causing the man to suck with even more enthusiasm.

“Yeah, just like that…so good…” His head fell back and he let his eyes drift shut as he focused solely on how good this felt. Top three, for sure. His balls began to tighten, signaling how close he was getting. Heat began to coil in his belly, threatening to explode. When Steve reached down to stroke his thumb over his perineum again, this time applying a bit of pressure, Bucky felt himself explode into a million pieces. He throbbed into Steve’s mouth and looked down to watch him eagerly swallowing every drop. This was, hands down, the best blow job he’d ever gotten. When Steve finally pulled off, licking away the last drop as he did, Bucky shoved him back again.

“What was that for?” Steve sat up on his elbows, his eyes widening as Bucky knelt down between his legs.

“What do you think? I’m following through on my promise.”

Steve groaned as Bucky took him in his mouth, swallowing him down inch by agonizing inch, until he was certain his dick was no longer just in the man’s mouth, but was actually in his throat. When Bucky swallowed and he felt the pressure around him squeeze his length, he knew he was right. Bucky’s nose was buried in the thatch of blonde hair at the base, inhaling the scent that was all Steve, and his eyes fluttered closed.

“Please, Bucky…move!” Steve begged. Bucky’s eyes snapped open and locked on his. Slowly he drew back, until only the tip was in his mouth, and then he slid all the way back down again. It was tight, hot, and so wet. He was already so close…

Bucky set a pace that was fast but not too fast, swirling his tongue around Steve’s dick, flicking it over the head on every slide back up, and when he heard his name falling from the same lips that had just been wrapped around his own dick, he thought it just might be the most beautiful word he’d ever heard. Soft whimpers and gasps began to spill out of Steve’s mouth, and he thrust up shallowly into Bucky’s mouth. 

He pulled over, earning an irritated whine from Steve, but it was for naught as he flattened his tongue and ran it down the underside of Steve’s dick. When he tongued at the man’s balls before taking one, then the other into his mouth, his name was shouted into the room. God, it sounded so good being screamed like that! Bucky wrapped his hand around Steve’s dick and began pumping in earnest. 

He knew the moment Steve was about to come. The man’s entire body tensed up and Bucky quickly swallowed him down, hollowing his cheeks for added pressure just as Steve came. He moved slower, sucking gently until he’d swallowed every drop. 

“Oh my God.” Steve was flat on his back, staring at the ceiling, his entire body feeling like Jello. Bucky pressed a kiss to his inner thigh.

“Well, that was one of the things I wanted to do to you.” 

Steve laughed but he was too blissed out to even try lifting his head.

“What else is on that list of yours?”

“I was thinking of opening you up, with my fingers and tongue, until you’re begging for me to fill you up, then laying back and watching you ride me. I want to see how hard you can do that.” 

Steve lifted his head, meeting the steady blue gaze looking back at him.

“Oh, I’m game for that.”

Bucky grinned until he tried to get up from the floor. Now that he wasn’t busy trying to get Steve off, he was acutely aware of how badly his knees ached. Next blow job he gave, he was lying on the bed with Steve. He ditched the shirt and crawled into the bed with him. Steve moved up the bed until they were both lying on their sides, facing one another.

“Will you stay with me tonight?”

Bucky leaned in to kiss him softly. “Roll over, Cap. I’m the big spoon.”

“Hey, maybe I want to be the big spoon.” Steve complied though, and rolled over. Bucky scooted forward until his chest was flush against his back. He slung his arm over Steve’s stomach and pressed his nose against his neck. The man smelled good, and maybe he’d never been much for cuddling before, but it felt good now. It felt right. 

As he drifted off, he decided that yes, this had probably been one of his better decisions, and he held Steve a little tighter. He didn’t want to let go.  
\--------------------------------------------------------

Bucky finally entered his apartment after noon. He had his hoodie draped over his shoulder and his shoes in his hand. He dropped them by the front door and looked up to see Clint and Bruce stretched across the couch watching a movie. He glanced at the screen and saw that Doghouse was playing and looked back at the two of them who hadn't even noticed his entrance.

“Hey.” He said, plopping down on the loveseat.

“Hey man.” Clint said, not taking his eyes off the screen.

“Where have you been?” Bruce asked, looking over the arm of the sofa.

“With Steve.” Bruce raised an eyebrow and Clint paused the movie and turned to look at him.

“Really?” He asked, surprised.

“Yeah. Really.” 

“Did you guys-?” He was cut off by Bucky nodding with a grin. 

“Well I'll be damned.” Clint said softly, pressing play on the movie. Bruce laughed quietly and turned back to the screen.  
\--------------------------------------------------------

Steve woke up to see his bed empty and his door ajar. He frowned and sat up. His clock said it was after noon and he rubbed his eyes. There was a noise coming from the living room and he figured he should investigate. 

Steve quickly pulled on a pair of gray sweatpants and padded down the hall to the kitchen. He saw Sam sitting at his desk in the corner, headset on and controller in hand, and a scowl on his face.

“Getting your ass kicked at Overwatch again?” 

“Yes.” Steve laughed and reached into the fridge to pull out the leftover Chinese food from the night before.

“So,” Sam started, putting his controller down and taking his headset off. “Who was over here last night?”

“Wouldn't you like to know?” 

“Yeah...why do you think I asked?” Steve laughed and put the rice in the microwave.

“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.” Sam’s jaw dropped and Steve laughed.

“You dirty dog!” 

“I’m not dirty. I was just...having fun.” 

“Was it good?” Steve nodded furiously and Sam grinned.

“Is he the animal I think he is?” Steve raised an eyebrow.

“Spend a lot of time thinking about what he’s like in bed?” 

“Maybe once or twice. He’s gorgeous. And he’s fluent in five languages.” 

“He is?”

“English, Hebrew, Russian, Romanian, and French.” Steve feigned fanning himself and draped himself across the counter.

“Why I do believe that soldier could not get any more attractive if he tried. Do you Samantha?” He said, in a terrible Southern dialect. Sam batted his eyes and giggled, girlishly.

“I do believe you’re right, Stephanie.” Steve chuckled and moved off the counter to grab a fork out of the utensil drawer. He pulled his rice out and sat down at the island. 

“So what are the birthday plans this Tuesday?” Steve shrugged.

“Stay home and eat ice cream cake. Probably play Resident Evil.” 

“You’re not gonna watch fireworks?”

“What’s the point? All of you are abandoning me.”

“That's not fair. You know I have to leave town for a conference.” Steve sighed. 

“And Nat is going to Russia to visit her grandma, Clint and Bruce are going to Orlando, Thor and Jane are in Iceland until September, and Tony and Pepper are in California for business.”

“Well, Peggy is still here right? And so is,” He paused, wiggling his eyebrows. “Bucky.” 

“Oh my God. I forgot to tell you. I'm never speaking to him again.” Sam gasped.

“What? Why? Did you cry during sex? Did you cry after? You cried with me once.”

“That's because I'd never had sex with a guy before and I was scared. Cut me some slack.” Sam nodded.

“That's fair. But why can you never see him again?” Steve shrugged.

“It'll be awkward.”

“It's not awkward with us.”

“Things are different with us. I've known you longer and we were friends before we dated. I just met him like 7 months ago. And we barely talk.” Steve said, sounding glum.

“But you like him.”

“Of course I do. Have you seen his face?” Sam chuckled.

“I have many times. I might have to get a piece myself.” Steve threw a carrot piece at him. 

“I called dibs. Also, you're in a relationship and I know for a fact that you're not open.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“I keep trying to ask her what she thinks about it but then she says something before I can and we get off topic.”

“You sure she's not trying to change the subject?”

“Oh she is. But I'm gonna get my way sooner or later.” He put his headset back on and Steve laughed.

That was the end of that conversation.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 _ **July 4th, 2017**_  
___________

When Steve’s birthday rolled around, all of his friends had left. Natasha had stopped by the day before to give him a present and a kiss on the cheek before she had to rush off to the airport. Sam had hopped on a train to Boston for his conference that morning. He'd hugged Steve before telling him he'd see him on the 7th. Jane and Thor left him a voicemail wishing him a happy birthday.

Tony, the fucking asshole, had sent him 20 singing candy grams, each 10 minutes apart from each other. Pepper had just sent him a bouquet of roses, his mother's favorite flowers, and a small card with a gift card to his favorite art store. Peggy had called him and said she would have stopped by with his gift but she was headed to Canada on business.

So he settled for plopping down in front of Sam’s PS4 and putting in Resident Evil. He hadn't gotten to finish it before finals came. Now he had three days to finish the game. 

His game play was interrupted an hour later by someone rapping Shave and A Haircut on the front door. He paused the game and stood from the couch. 

“If it's another candy gram, just leave and tell your boss you performed. I'll vouch for you dude, I swear.” He opened the door to see Bucky standing there with a confused look on his face.

“I'm not gonna sing. I was just gonna give you this.” He was carrying a small box and he held it out to him. 

“Why?”

“Isn't it your birthday?” Steve laughed embarrassed. 

“Oh, yeah it is. Sorry it's been a pretty...shitty day.” 

“Why?” He slumped against the door frame.

“Everyone is out of town today. So I'm alone.”  
Bucky nodded.

“Well since you're not busy...do you want to go to the museum with me?” 

“What?” Bucky jammed his hand in his pocket.

“There's this war museum and on Independence Day they show old movies. It's a safe place for vets to go so they don't get triggered. And I don't want to go alone.” Steve smiled.

“Yeah. I'll go. What time?”

“Five. You don't have to dress nice or bring money. And we can take the subway.”

“I already said I'll go, Buck.”

“Awesome. I'll see you later.” He handed him the box and turned to go back into his own empty apartment.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I think you should go with navy blue.” Steve stood in front of his mirror holding up two different shirts. 

“Are you sure, Pepper?”

“Yes. Navy blue makes your eyes pop and your hair look darker. Plus if you wear those dark gray jeans I bought you last Christmas, you'll look great.” Her voice crackled through his phone.

“What about shoes?” She hummed, clearly lost in thought. 

“Do you have any dress shoes that don't look like dress shoes?”

“What? That doesn't make sense.”

“Then just wear your dark blue sneakers. They'll go well with your outfit. I have to go now, Steve. Have fun!”

“Bye!” He hung up and looked at the navy shirt in his hand.

“Blue, gray, blue.” He mumbled to himself as he dug through his dresser looking for his jeans.

Eventually he found the jeans and slipped them on. He pulled the shirt over his head and practically jammed his feet into the sneakers. It was already past five and he grimaced before running down the hall to the bathroom. He brushed his hair and teeth, respectively, and popped back into his bedroom to grab his wallet and phone.

There was knock on the door and he rushed over to open it. Bucky was standing there in a black sweatshirt and gray sweatpants. He eyed Steve before laughing.

“I said you didn't have to dress up.” Steve frowned and looked down at himself. 

“I didn't. I'm wearing a t-shirt and jeans.” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. Let's just head out.” Steve stepped out of the apartment and closed and locked the door behind him. 

The two of them headed down to the lobby in silence and exited the building, getting smacked with a wave of dry heat. Steve grimaced and Bucky just started walking towards the subway. 

“I hate this. I'm already sweating.” Bucky looked over at him.

“It doesn't bother me.”

“Well you're used to it. I'm a pale Irish kid from New England.” Bucky laughed.

“Hey, I'm a pale white kid too. I just lived in the desert for a while.” 

“You're not pale. You've got a tan.”

“So do you, believe it or not.” Steve looked down at his arms and frowned.

“I do?” Bucky smiled and grabbed his hand

“Yes. Now let's go or we're not gonna get there before the movie starts.” 

As they walked into the station and hopped on the train, Steve was keenly aware of his hand wrapped around Bucky’s.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This is amazing.” Steve said softly.

The museum had set up a room with a large screen and couches. There were two large tables against the back wall lined with snacks and drinks as well. About a dozen or so veterans milled about, talking to one another, eating, or looking at their phones.

“Oh sweet. Cupcakes.” Bucky dragged Steve over to the snack table and began piling food on a plate.

Steve grabbed a can of soda and popped it open. He watched the people in the room find seats and hunker down. One of the organizers, identified by his badge, waved at Steve. 

“Want a bite?” He turned to see Bucky offering him a bite of the cupcake he'd already taken a chunk out of. He had blue frosting on his upper lip and Steve laughed.

“You've got a little…” He said motioning towards his mouth. Bucky handed him the cupcake and grabbed a napkin.

“You can have the rest. He betrayed me.” Bucky said. Steve shook his head.

“Just finish it. I'm fine.”

“It's your birthday. Just eat it.”

“Birthday?” They heard someone ask. They turned to see a woman walking towards them.

“Yeah. He's 28 today.” Bucky said.

“A veteran born on Independence Day? Well that's not something you hear everyday.” Steve’s eyes widened and he stammered.

“Oh...um I'm not...uhh.” 

“He's my date. He's not a vet.” Bucky piped up around a mouthful of salsa.

“Oh! Well still, happy birthday. And we hope you come back on New Year's Eve.” She walked away with a smile and Steve turned back to Bucky. 

“Why’d you say that?” 

“Say what?”

“Say I was your date.” Bucky raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“I thought you were.” 

“Oh.” 

Bucky grabbed a soda and slid it in his pocket before lifting his plate, piled with foods, and motioned for Steve to follow him. The two of them walked over to one of the loveseats and sat down. Bucky put the plate on the small table in front of them and kicked his feet up. The lights dimmed a bit and people who weren't sitting began looking for seats. One of the organizers walked to the front of the room and clapped her hands for attention.

“Thank you all for coming to our 12th annual Veterans Night.” There was mild applause and she smiled.

“We will be showing three movies tonight. The first movie is called _You've Got Me Covered_ starring Bob Hope and Dorothy Lamour.” The room darkened and then the huge screen lit up and the movie began to play.

The first two movies were uneventful. There was laughing and cheering. Bucky laughed a few times but seemed pretty bored. Steve leaned in halfway through _Singin’ In The Rain_ and whispered in his ear.

“On a scale from one to 10, how bored are you right now?” Bucky smiled.

“About a six.”

“Hopefully they play something better after this. I mean I like it but I don't want to watch it.” Bucky nodded and bumped his shoulder against his.

“Well it's almost over. If the next movie sucks too, we'll just hide in the bathroom and watch Netflix.” Steve snickered and someone hushed him. 

After the movie ended, the lights came up and they watched them set up the last film. People had stood up to stretch out and use the bathroom. Bucky had grabbed another plate of junk food and settled back down next to Steve.

“Ladies and gentlemen, our last film of the night is a beloved classic. In fact, it'll be 80 years old in two years. We hope you all enjoy _Gone With The Wind_.” Steve gasped excitedly and he felt Bucky turn to look at him. 

“You like this movie?”

“It's my favorite movie. I used to watch it almost everyday until I was like 12. It was my mom's favorite movie too.” 

“I've never seen it.” Steve looked at him, shocked.

“You're gonna love it. It's amazing.” The lights dimmed again and Steve turned his focus to the screen.  
\--------------------------------------------------------

“ _Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn._ ” 

Bucky watched the screen as Rhett walked away from his wife and he made a surprised noise. He could hear Steve sniffling next to him and looked over at him. He'd drawn his legs up onto the loveseat and crossed his arms across the armrest. He was watching the movie with his eyes peeking over his arms.

“ _Home. I'll go home. And I'll think of some way to get him back. After all, tomorrow is another day!_ Scarlett said. Steve mouthed along with Scarlett and Bucky smiled at him. 

The film drew to a close and Steve sat up bit and wiped his eyes. He looked over at Bucky who was still looking at him with a smile.

“What?” He asked, laughing and wiping tears off his face.

“Nothing.” 

After the two of them thanked the advisors, they left the museum. The city was still moving around them but less so than it had when they'd first left. The air smelled faintly of gunpowder and Bucky grimaced.

“I hate that smell.” Steve grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the museum.

“I do too. So let's go somewhere. Get that smell out of our noses.” Bucky squeezed his hand and walked alongside him.

“Go where exactly? The bars will be overflowing with people. Most of the restaurants will be full too.” 

 

“Just follow me.”

 

The two of them walked in tandem, hand in hand, a comfortable silence between them. Steve occasionally pointed out some place he'd visited before, usually a pub. Finally they arrived where Steve wanted them to go. It was a fairly small building nestled between two larger buildings that a neon sign letting patrons know they were 24/7.

 

“A diner?” Steve nodded.

 

“Yeah. This place is great. I actually met Natasha here.” 

 

“Wow.” Bucky frowned a bit and Steve smiled.

 

“I'll buy you French toast.” 

 

“What are we doing standing out here then?” He opened the door and ushered Steve in ahead of him. 

 

They snagged a booth in the back corner and a waitress appeared almost immediately. They ordered milkshakes and she disappeared into the kitchen. 

 

“It's cold in here.” Bucky said, rubbing his palm against his thigh. Steve slid across the curved booth to sit next to him and Bucky leaned his arm against his side.

 

“Jeez. We've been inside for like three minutes and you're wearing a sweatshirt. How are you this cold?” 

 

“Just warm me up.”

 

Steve let him lean against his side, resting his head on his shoulder and looking down at the menu. He looked down at his own menu even though he knew what he was ordering. The waitress came back a few minutes later and put the shakes down in front of them.

 

“So Steve, I'm guessing you want the supreme French toast?” She asked with a smile. He blushed and handed her his menu.

 

“You know me too well.” She laughed and looked at Bucky. 

 

“And what can I get you, sir?” Bucky wrinkled his nose and shrugged.

 

“I guess whatever has the most sugar and is the most kosher.” 

 

“That'd be the maple apple French toast.” He nodded.

 

“That's sounds great.” She smiled.

 

“Then I'll bring your food out as soon as I can.” She laid down two sets of silverware, two straws, and walked off with the two menus under her arm.

 

"I thought you didn't care whether your food is kosher?" Bucky shrugged. 

 

"I just felt like eating kosher."

 

Bucky looked around the diner slowly. It looked like they'd pulled out straight out of 1955. They had photos on the walls from the 50’s and 60’s and a plaque saying they'd celebrated their 60th anniversary two years before.

 

“This is a cute place.”

 

“Yeah it is. I came here almost every morning for breakfast when I was in college. I've known Gigi, our waitress, for about 10 years. She's the owner.”

 

“Really? That's cool.” Steve took a sip of his shake and nodded.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Gigi reappeared with their food about 15 minutes later and they dug in. It was the best French toast Bucky had ever had. The maple syrup mixed with apple chunks was the best thing he'd ever experienced and he moaned slightly. He shoveled another forkful into his mouth quickly. Steve barked out a laugh and almost spit out his own food.

 

“Buck, it's cinnamon bread. Calm down.” Bucky laughed and elbowed Steve.

 

“Shut up. It's good.” He mumbled. He swallowed it and glared at Steve. 

 

“What does it taste like?” 

 

“You want to try some?” Steve nodded and instead of offering him a bite, he pulled him in for a kiss. Steve eagerly kissed him back and slid his tongue into his mouth. He pulled back after a few seconds and Steve smiled.

 

“It does taste good.” Bucky smiled and kissed him again.  
____________________________________


	9. August

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, yes. But I'm uploading September earlier than usual and it's SUPER wild. Hopefully that'll make up for this.

**_August 3rd, 2017_** _____________

Bucky was woken to Steve running a hand across his abdomen. He rolled over to look at the blond who was lying on his stomach, looking at his phone. He grabbed his hand and Steve smiled and looked over at him.

“Good morning.” He croaked. Steve handed him the glass of water he had on his bedside table and Bucky took a sip.

“Good morning to you too. How'd you sleep?”

“Like a baby.” He said, groaning and sitting up. He stretched and heard his joints crack.

“Liar. We could always sleep at your place.”

“Nah. I don't want my big mouthed roommate blabbing about us.” Steve sat up and ran a hand across his face.

“I need to shave.” He stood and grabbed his boxers off the floor. Bucky smirked and leaned across the bed to pinch his ass. Steve squeaked and jumped slightly.

“Oops.” Steve rubbed his bare bottom and glared at Bucky.

“Jerk. Go home.” Bucky stood and pulled his boxers on and began untangling his sweatpants when he felt the bed shift and felt hands on his waist.

“Where are you going?”

“You just told me to leave.” Steve kissed his neck and he rolled his eyes.

“Ignore what I say. I'm an idiot.” Bucky turned around and Steve pulled him into his arms.

“I have a job, you know.” Steve groaned and let go of him.

“Alice didn't text you.”

“I still have to go see her. Her birthday is next week. I'm trying to figure out what to do for her.”

“Is she having a party?”

“Yeah. It's gonna be huge now that I'm home. She's inviting everyone in the building. They all love her too so they'll all probably come.”

“She is pretty awesome. Did you see she dyed her hair green?” Bucky shook his head.

“I'm not surprised. She had blue hair last month. Purple in March. Her hair was orange when I first met her.” Steve smiled.

“How long ago was that?” He frowned.

“13 years this coming January.”

“You met her when you were a teenager?”

“Yeah. I was living on the streets at the time. She saved my life.”

“Wow. How'd she do that?”  
____________________________________

_January 14th, 2005_   
_____________

_A shiver ran through Bucky's body and he pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders. The wind whipped around him and his shaggy hair blew into his face. He rubbed his hands together and blew into them._

_He had his cup at his feet but the people walking past barely stopped to toss a few pennies into it. He picked it up and glanced in at the coins. There was only a handful of pennies and two quarters in it. Not even enough for a cup of coffee. He groaned and put his head in his hands._

_”You alright, kid?” He looked up to see a woman with pumpkin orange hair in a bright pink, heavy, winter coat looking down at him. He nodded and lifted his cup._

_”I just need some change.” She frowned and dug into her pocket. She pulled out a couple of bills and stuffed them into his cup. He looked down at it in surprise. She had put almost $60 into his cup._

_”That should help you for a little while. Get yourself a tent, honey. A small one. And then buy some canned stuff. I'll get you a can opener.”_

_”Thank you so much!” Bucky said with a grin. She smiled at him sadly and ruffled his hair._

_”Keep your head up.” She disappeared into the apartment building he'd set up camp next to and he quickly pocketed the cash._

_He sat there for a several more minutes before she reappeared, this time with a thermos and a Tupperware container. She kneeled in front of him and handed him the food._

_”Do you want to come inside? The lobby is warm and I've got a couch you can sleep on.”_

_”I shouldn't go inside without permission from the landlord.” She grinned at him._

_”I guess it's a good thing I own the building then, isn't it?” She held out her hand and he took it tentatively. She pulled him off the ground and slid her jacket off and draped it around his shoulders._

_The woman led him into the building and directed him to the sofa in the center of the lobby. He sat down and she placed the food on the table in front of him. He practically inhaled the sandwich she'd given him. She sat on the sofa across from him and watched him eat._

_”When did you eat last?” He wiped his mouth and swallowed hard._

_”Four days ago.” Her jaw dropped and he looked downcast before taking a sip of the coffee she'd given him._

_”How old are you?” He paused and lowered the thermos._

_”18.” She shook her head._

_”Don't lie to me.”_

_”I'm 16.” She shook her head in shock._

_”Why on Earth are you on the streets? Are you a runaway?” His lip trembled and she stood and moved around the table to sit next to him. She put her arm around his shoulder and rubbed his arm._

_”No. My parents kicked me out last March.” She gasped._

_”What?! Why the fuck did they do that?!”_

_“Because I'm gay.” She scowled._

_“That's not a reason to kick your kid out!” She said standing up, beginning to pace. “I should call the fucking cops. How the hell have you survived this long?” She stopped to look at him._

_”I've been...ummm…” He looked down at his hands and she covered her mouth in shock, realization dawning. Tears sprung to her eyes and she shook her head._

_”We need to call the cops. And then we need to get you tested. Hustling is dangerous. You could have HIV or herpes!”_

_“Please don't call the police! I'll get put in a group home! Or they'll arrest me for prostitution again!_

_”Again?!” He nodded._

_”They couldn't prove I was actually hustling so they let me go.”_

_”What's your name?”_

_”I'm Bucky.” She held her hand out and he shook it._

_”I'm Alice Cassandra Helmer. It's great to meet you, Bucky.”_

_”It's nice to meet you too.” She kneeled down in front of him and smiled at him._

_”Let's get you cleaned up, Bucky.” _  
_____________________________________ _

“Buck? You alright?” Bucky blinked and looked at Steve who was watching him.

“Yeah. What was I saying?”

“I asked how Alice saved your life and you zoned out.” He rubbed his eyes and sighed.

“I'm sorry. I'm still kind of asleep.” He said with a half hearted chuckle. “She gave me a place to sleep, got me enrolled in school, bought me everything I needed for two years, had me as her legal ward until I was 18. She helped me out. I'd probably still be on the street if it wasn't for her.” He made sure to leave out the tidbit about him being a former teenage prostitute. Definitely not something he was ready to disclose. Not yet at least.

Bucky stood up again and pulled his pants up. He rifled around on the ground, looking for his shirt. He felt something soft hit his back and he turned to see Steve holding his shirt in his hand.

“Need help getting it on?” He asked, untangling it.

“So you can rip it off with your teeth again? I don't think so.” Steve snorted and threw it at his face.

There was a sharp knock on the door and Steve’s eyes widened. He threw his comforter on to Bucky and pushed him down so he was prone. He covered his head and shushed him. Bucky heard the door open and he heard Sam’s voice.

“Who've you got in bed?”

“Cwdlz.” Steve said after a short moment.

“...Cwdlz?” Steve said, sounding unconvinced.

“She's Welsh. Don't be dick.”

“Oh. Well I'm just letting you know that I'm headed to class. Have fun with...Cwdlz.”

“Thanks man. Have a good day.” He closed the door and waited until he heard the front door close before he pulled the blanket off of Bucky.

“OK you can leave now.” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Cwdlz? What the fuck is that?”

“I changed the letter in your name to the one right after them. B equals C, U equals W, and so on.”

“How are you a teacher?” Steve glared at him.  
“Get out.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky entered the lobby and immediately frowned at the sight of Alice lying face down on the counter. She sighed deeply and he walked over and leaned down to look at her face. She opened her eyes and smiled weakly at him.

“What's up, honky?” He raised an eyebrow.

“What?” She groaned and sat up.

“I don't know. I just feel like crap and I think I'm a little high.”

“What happened?” She shrugged.

“I just feel...old. I'm gonna be 50 in 8 days.” He scoffed.

“So? That's not old. That's middle age.”

“I'm halfway to death, babe. I'll be dead soon.” He rolled his eyes.

“You're the biggest drama queen in the world. You know that right?” She sighed heavily and laid back down on the desk.

“Well I'd be less sad if you asked out Steve. You're not dating David anymore and Steve is right across the hall from you and he's ripped like a motherfucker.”

“Oedipus was muscular? I wasn't aware.” She shoved him away and he laughed.

“Just do it.”

“I'm already seeing someone.” She sat up quickly and jumped off the desk. He moved back in surprise at how quickly she moved toward him.

“What?! Who?!”

“He's this gorgeous blond guy. Ripped as all hell and great in the sack.” She frowned.

“What's his name?”

“Steve Rogers. I think you know him.” She clapped excitedly.

“Yes! Hell yes!” He rolled his eyes.

They heard the telltale sound of heels on tile and they turned to see Natasha walking out of the elevator hall, texting with one hand and carrying a suitcase in the other. She looked up at them and smiled.

“Work?” Alice asked. She nodded and pocketed her phone.

“South Korea this time. At least I won't be stuck in the desert again.”

“How long will you be gone?” Alice asked.

“Six weeks. Not long.” She started walking towards the lobby doors again before turning towards Alice. “I ordered you something. Happy birthday.” She waved and exited the building.

“I don't like her.” Bucky said, scowling.

“Why not? Natalia is great.”

“We've just butted heads a lot since we met.” He turned to Alice and smiled. “So what are the birthday plans? Big party?”

“Actually...I'm going out with someone.” He grinned.

“Really? Who?”

“Just a person. They're kinky though so it's gonna be a hot night.” He groaned.

“Too much information, Al. Way too much.” She cackled and clapped her hands.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**August 16th, 2017** _____________

Bucky didn't like secrets. He hated them. Harboring the ones he had was hard enough. Harboring someone else's? Almost impossible.

He was walking around Brooklyn late at night. No exact direction. Just walking. He picked up gelato from the Italian shop two blocks from home. Stepped inside of a shop to look at a pair of shoes.

As he walked, he passed by a restaurant. A five star place. The kind of place where they wouldn't even let your through the door if you were wearing anything less than a tuxedo. He looked at the people sitting inside, having fancy dinners. Going on dates and having business meetings. As he looked through the window at a giant fish tank in the corner, he saw a flash of red out of the corner of his eye.

Bucky looked away to see Natasha walking out of the restaurant, arm in arm with a blond man. He was speaking to her and she was laughing and playfully batting at him. As the valet brought their car around, Bucky watched her practically inhale the man's tongue. He gaped and stared at them in shock.

The man helped her into the Tesla and walked around the other side to get into the driver's seat. He dropped his empty gelato cup and swallowed hard.

“Oh fuck.”


	10. September

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.....I'm late. This was supposed to be up in September but instead here it is in NOVEMBER! I need to get my shit together.

_**September 23rd, 2017**_  
____________________

 

“Happy birthday to you!” Sam smiled at his group of friends who were watching excitedly as his cake was placed in front of him by Steve who had a huge grin on his face. 

Natasha watched the room with her arm wrapped around Sam’s waist. People were crowding around the dining table as Sam cut into his cake and began distributing slices. 

Her eyes drifted over to look at Steve who had a plate in one hand piled with food and his other arm was wrapped around Bucky’s waist. She frowned and tore her eyes away.

“You alright?” She looked at Sam who was watching her worriedly.

“I'm fine.” He looked over at Steve and Bucky and raised an eyebrow. 

“You need to stop worrying about Steve. Bucky won't hurt him. He's a good guy.” 

“Sure he is.” Sam sighed and pulled away from her.

“Chill out, Nat.”

She watched him walk over to Clint who was stuffing cake in his mouth. Her eyes went back to Steve and Bucky who were almost making cartoon heart eyes at each other. She rolled her eyes and groaned loudly.

All eyes in the room turned to her and she glared at Bucky. He raised an eyebrow and she could tell he was challenging her. 

“We get it. You're dating.” 

“Nat.” Sam warned.

“No! Let her finish.” Bucky said, holding his hand up to silence Sam.

“All you two do is kiss and touch each other all the damn time. It's disgusting.”

“I thought you _weren't_ homophobic?” 

“I'm not. I just hate you two together.”

“What? Why?” Sam asked.

“Because he's not good enough for Steve. He's dirty.” Steve frowned. 

“Nat, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Has James told you anything about his past?” Bucky clenched his jaw and Steve nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Did he tell you he used to hustle?” Everyone looked at Bucky who pulled away from Steve and took a few steps toward her. 

“Hustle what? Pool?” 

“No. He was a prostitute.” 

“You better shut up, whore.” 

“Don't call me a whore! You're the whore!” Sam moved to stand between the two of them and put his hands up. 

“Guys! Chill out!”

“Maybe I am a whore. But least I'm not cheating on my boyfriend.” Sam lowered his hands and looked at Natasha who was staring at Bucky in shock.

“What's he talking about, Natalia?” 

“I have no idea.”

“I'm talking about you telling everyone you were overseas for work when you were still in the city. I saw you with that guy. Both of you were dressed up and you were kissing like you needed it to survive.”

“Is he telling the truth, Nat?” She stared dumbly at Sam. “IS HE?” 

“Yes.” She said softly.

“I asked you if…” He trailed off and looked down at the ground. Bruce stepped forward and pulled Sam away. 

The room was silent as people began moving to grab their things and leave. A few people left Natasha’s apartment but most people stood still, shocked at the quick turn in the evening.

“Look what you've done. You've ruined everything.” Nat lunged towards Bucky but Bruce ran forward and grabbed her. She fought against him but he just pushed her back and squeezed her arms tighter.

“Natalia. _Nyet_.” Bruce said firmly. 

“ _Pig whore._ ” Natasha said, her native language rolling off her tongue flawlessly.

This time Bucky lunged towards her and Steve and Sam moved to pull him away. He growled at her and tried to pull out of their grasp but Steve just wrapped his arms around him and pulled him back. He stroked his hair and talked softly to him until he calmed down.

“Natasha.” Bruce said in a low voice. 

“Don't you start too, Bruce. I don't need this shit.”

“You need help.” Bucky said, moving towards the door. 

“At least men don't have to pay for me, slut.” 

As soon as the words left her lips, Natasha watched in slow motion as Bruce did a 180° and reared a fist back. Her eyes widened and she froze in place as she watched his fist fly towards her face. 

A hand shot out and spun Bruce around and his fist connected with Sam’s right cheek instead. There was a crunch heard around the room and Sam fell to his knees with an anguished cry. 

“Oh God.” Clint rushed forward to pull Bruce away from the group as Bucky and Steve ran to Sam’s side. 

“Oh fuck. Shit!” Bruce said panicked, running his hands through his hair. He hissed in pain and looked down at his bloody knuckles. 

“We need to get him to the hospital. Now!” Bucky said. Steve lifted Sam up and into his arms. 

Pepper rushed to open the door and she followed them out. The rest of the guests filed out of the apartment leaving her alone with Tony, Clint, and Bruce. Clint was examining Bruce’s knuckles and talking softly to him. 

“Let's go.” He led Bruce out of the apartment. 

Natasha looked over at Tony was standing behind her couch with his arms crossed. She sighed and looked down at the ground defeated.

“Don't give me that look.”

“You fucked up.” 

“Not you too.”

“Yes me too. Good luck. You're gonna need it if you ever want us back.” He grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. 

And for the first time in her life.

Natalia was completely and utterly alone.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------

“Are we ever going back to see him?” Steve asked anxiously, his leg bouncing. Bucky placed his hand on his knee to stop his leg and Steve took a deep breath.

“You should clean up. You're covered in blood.” Steve looked down at his white shirt and sighed.

“Shirts are replaceable. Sam isn't.”

“He'll be fine. He probably just has a fractured cheekbone.” 

They sat in silence as people entered and left the hospital. The two of them stopped looking up when they heard the whoosh of the electric door after a few times. When the smell of pot filled the room suddenly though they both looked up to see Clint and Bruce walking into the waiting room.

“Where have you guys been?” Steve asked.

“Bruce was...not in good place. So I made him smoke some pot.” They looked at Bruce who seemed slightly dazed with red rimmed eyes.

“Was he crying or are his eyes just red from the weed?”

“Both.” 

“I think you should check Chong in. His hand looks mangled.” Bucky suggested.

Bruce’s knuckles had turned a dark shade of purple and the skin was split open on two of them. His hand was limp and every time he moved it, he winced. Clint turned him and moved him towards the check-in desk.

After Clint checked a stoned Bruce in, they sat down across from Steve and Bucky. Bruce leaned his head on his boyfriend's shoulder and within minutes he was asleep. The four of them sat in the waiting room for two hours before Bruce was finally called back, Clint following along after him.

Finally, at four am, a nurse came and called Steve and Bucky back to see Sam. She led them to a room a floor up from the E.R. She ushered them into the room and closed the curtain and door behind them.

“Hey guys.” Sam said softly. 

“Holy shit. You look terrible.” Bucky said jokingly, moving to sit next to him. 

“Fuck you too.” Sam mumbled with a laugh. 

“What'd the doctor say?” Steve asked.

“I have a fractured cheekbone and a shattered eye socket. They said I'll need surgery.” 

“Jesus Christ.” Bucky whispered. 

“Don't say the Lord's name in vain.” Steve said softly. 

“I'm a Jew. I don't believe in Jesus.”

“I thought you were a non-practicing half Jew.” Sam said with a pained smile.

“Let's stop talking about my religious beliefs and focus on our birthday boy with the busted face.”

“I never got cake.” Sam muttered sadly. 

“We'll bring you some cake. Don't worry.” Steve took his friend's hand and smiled at him.

There was a knock on the door and they looked over to see Clint walking into the room holding onto Bruce’s arm. The older man had his hand in a cast and a frown on his face. 

“Hey guys! How's your hand, buddy?” Sam asked, cheerfully. 

“Are you ok?” Bruce questioned, ignoring what Sam had asked.

“I'm fine. I'll be ok. I'm not going to die.” Bruce walked over to Sam and placed a hand on his wrist.

“I can't believe I hit you. I can't believe I almost hit Natasha.”

“If you hadn't hit me, you'd probably be in cuffs and Nat would be in the morgue.” Sam sniffed the air and looked at Bruce. “Were you sprayed by a skunk or is that pot?”

“It's weed.”

“Why do you smell like pot? Did you smoke some?” 

“I made him. He was freaking out.” Clint answered.

“What did the doctor say? Will you be alright?” Bruce moved to the foot of Sam’s bed and laid a hand on his leg.

“I'll need some minor surgery but I'll be fine.”

“I'll pay for everything. Don't worry.” Sam waved Bruce off.

“I've got insurance. It's not great but I've got it.” 

“You and I both know our insurance is terrible. That's why I used my paychecks to get good insurance.” Bucky said.

“Let me pay. I can afford it. Please.” Bruce pleaded. Sam sighed and nodded. 

“Fine. You can pay. But you have to let me sign your midget cast. Deal?” Bruce chuckled and nodded. 

“Deal.” 

There was a knock on the door and they all looked over to see Natasha standing there with a bouquet of roses. She held a gift box in the other hand and she took a tentative step forward.

“Get out.” Sam said firmly.

“Sam-” She started.

“I said get out.” She sighed and placed the roses and present on the table by the door.

“I love you, Sam. Feel better.” She exited the room and pulled the door shut behind her.

The room fell deathly silent. All five men looked at one another but none were brave enough to say anything. They were rescued finally when the doctor walked into the room with a clipboard in her hands.

“Hello, Mr. Wilson. How are you feeling?” 

“Like my face is busted.” 

“Well luckily we can fix that. In fact, I scheduled your operation for this afternoon.” 

“How much will all this cost?” Sam asked her.

“Well I'm not exactly sure. You'll have to speak with finance in the basement. They'll tell you.”

She put the clipboard in the cubby at the end of his bed and left the room. Bruce picked it up and scanned the page quickly. His eyes widened and Clint glanced over his shoulder at the board.

“Oh damn. Your x-ray looks messed up!” Clint said, with an awkward chuckle.

“Let me see.” Sam held his hand out and Bruce placed it in his hand.

Sam examined it for a minute before reading the other pages. His face was unreadable and the four men watched as he laid it in his lap and looked up at them. 

“It looks like I used a grenade as eye drops. Pretty awesome!” He grinned and handed Bruce the clipboard.

“Well we're going to let you get some rest. We'll see you after your surgery though.” Steve leaned down to kiss Sam’s forehead.

“Let's go.” Clint motioned them all over to the door.

“I'll see you when my face is beautiful again!”

“It's always beautiful, you narcissistic bastard!” Bucky called out jokingly. Sam laughed and leaned over to turn his bedside lamp off.


	11. October

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. Only three chapters left to go now though! Yay!

_**October**_  
\--------------------

Steve entered the apartment with Sam following behind him with his bag slung over his shoulder. He dropped it in the doorway and held his arms open and grinned.

“Home sweet home! Oh I missed the sweet smell of cinnamon and…” He frowned and sniffed the air. “Is that garlic? That's not sweet.” 

“I made pasta last night for Bucky.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“You romantic fool.” Steve laughed and reached around Sam to grab the bag off the floor. 

“You're just jealous.” Sam sighed.

“I am. I'm very jealous. But I'll find someone. That isn't a lying bitch.” Steve nodded.

“Just forget about her. Focus on school and work. Move on with your life.” 

They entered the living room and Sam's eyes went wide with surprise. Gift baskets and flowers were everywhere. They covered most of the floor and the coffee table. He leaned down to pick one up and read the card. 

“Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you about those. Natasha has been sending them. Like three a day. Plus Bruce and Tony sent a couple too.”

“I'm gonna live like a king for the next two weeks.” He ripped open one of the baskets and pulled out a box chocolates and sat down on the couch.

“Well I hope you do, Phantom.” Sam looked up at Steve confused. 

“What?”

“Well your bandage makes you look like the Phantom of the Opera.” Sam rolled his eyes and popped a chocolate in his mouth.

“You're a nerd.”  
____________________________________

Bucky walked into the kitchen and picked up DV’s food dish and pulled his cat food out from under the sink. He poured it in the bowl and laid it back down the floor. He pulled his own cereal out of the pantry and poured himself a bowl. 

After sitting at the island to eat, he looked down at Da Vinci’s bowl and noticed the young cat wasn't scarfing his food down like he usually did at breakfast. He frowned and looked around the room to see if the cat was sleeping somewhere. When he didn't see him anywhere, he felt a panic set in and he stood up. 

“Clint!” He looked around the living room as his roommate emerged from his bedroom, wearing only his slippers and his boxer briefs.

“What?”

“Did DV sleep with you last night? I can't find him.” 

“No. I haven't seen him since last night.”

Bucky felt a breeze and he turned to see the window above the couch wide open. He and Clint made eye contact and both of them quickly ran to the window to look out. They couldn't see anything 40 feet up and Bucky felt his heart start racing.

“Get dressed!” Clint ran to his room and Bucky ran to his room to slide his slippers on and ran to the front door. 

Clint rushed out of his own room, pulling a shirt over his head. The two of them practically sprinted down the hall and down the stairs. They both ran past Alice at her desk in the lobby and she watched them, confused at the sight of them half dressed running outside into the cold weather.

“Da Vinci!” Bucky called once he was out the door. Clint ran around the side of the building to check the alley. 

“Da Vinci!” Clint called out. 

“Isn't he dead?” A man called out from across the street. He lowered his newspaper and looked up at them. 

“We're looking for our cat! He's a skinny black cat with white paws. Have you seen him?” 

“I think I saw a cat in that alley a few minutes ago. Could've been a rat though.” 

“Thanks!” The man waved and went back to his newspaper.

Bucky went after Clint in the alley and noticed that his friend was missing. He looked around with a frown and heard a thump come from one of the dumpsters. He walked and poked his head over the top. He saw Clint digging through the trash and he wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“What the fuck are you doing dude?” Clint looked up at him and smiled sheepishly. 

“The dumpsters are right under our window. I thought maybe he fell in. Go check the other one.” Bucky sighed and walked over to the other dumpster and poked his head over the side. 

The dumpster was filled almost to the brim with garbage bags. He sighed and plunged his arm into the garbage. He pushed bags aside and felt out for anything fuzzy. There was a shift in the garbage and he heard a thump. 

“Uh Clint? I think there's something in this dumpster.” Clint climbed out the dumpster and walked over to the other and climbed in.

“DV!” Clint exclaimed. He pulled out the cat who looked groggy and glared up at him. He hugged the partially deaf cat and kissed the top of his head.

“Hand him to me so you can climb out.” Clint passed the cat to Bucky who grimaced at the foul odor that radiated off the young feline.

“You need a bath, DV.” He looked at Clint who had various liquids on his legs and slippers and he raised an eyebrow. “You do too. Guess you're on cat bath duty.” 

“What?! He can clean himself!”

“So you want him and his tongue to smell like a New York City dumpster? You're sick. Also you left the window open.” Clint sighed and took the cat back from his roommate.

“You suck.”  
____________________________________

Steve loved October. The air was crisp, candles were fall scented, the leaves on the trees turned vibrant colors. Plus he adored Halloween. His mother had loved Halloween. She always went all out on decorations, even if they were the only ones who saw them. She baked monster cookies and they watched horror movies almost every night in the month. 

Now that he was an adult and his mother wasn't around anymore, he wasn't as enthusiastic. But he was still excited. Halloween was always an exciting time of year at the high school. Especially with the Monster Mash just around the corner. Students went all out every year for the schools Halloween party. 

And he'd been put on decorations for the dance since he was the art teacher. He always had a knack for decorating. So he made sure to go all out. 

He stood in the gymnasium on Friday evening, the day before the dance, putting up some final touches. He had a few student volunteers helping but they tended to wander off every ten minutes or so to check their phones.

“Impressive.” He turned on the ladder to see David standing underneath him, smiling.

“Uh...thank you.” Steve quickly descended the ladder and crossed his arms. “I never thought I'd see you here. How are you?”

“I'm fine, all things considered. I'm just picking up my cousin. Thought I'd come check the awesome decorations the students were all talking about.” He smiled and glanced around the room.

The two men stood in front of each awkwardly before David cleared his throat.

“How's Bucky?”

“Never better.”

“That's good. I've been meaning to call him. He left some stuff at my place.” Steve nodded.

“You can always drop it off here. I'll bring it to him.” David bowed his head and scoffed.

“That's not the only reason, Steve. We both know that.” 

“Listen David, I know you loved him but he's moved on now. You have to let him go.” David sighed and rubbed his face. Steve noticed that his jawline looked softer.

“I know. But this is important.” 

“What could possibly be so important?”

“I'm pregnant.” Steve’s eyes widened and David let out a deep breath. 

“You're…”

“I'm sorry to just blurt that out like that. But I figured since you're his boyfriend, you should know too.” Steve opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He just kept opening and closing his mouth. David snapped his fingers and Steve seemed to snap out of his stupor.

“I thought you couldn't get pregnant.” 

“I can. I was only on HRT for a month when I started dating Bucky. Believe it or not, I'm still fairly early into my transition. I only got top surgery because I paid a lot of money for it before I was formally diagnosed by my therapist.” He sat down in one of the chairs nearby. “I still was getting my period while we dated. Then it stopped. And I thought, “ _Oh, it's finally over. I should call my gyno._ ” I go in for a check up and I was pregnant.” Steve sat down next to him and stared forward blankly.

“You're sure it's his?” 

“No I'm not. There was guy a little after the breakup. I saw the gyno three weeks after him. But I lost contact with him. So...I was hoping Bucky would do a blood test. Just to see if it's his.” Steve nodded.

“Yeah that makes sense. Do you want me to be there when you tell him or…?”

“Yeah. I think it'd be easier for him to handle if he had you with him.”  
____________________________________

Bucky brought over the bowl of potato chips and laid them on the coffee table. Clint followed him out of three kitchen with two oversized mugs of hot chocolate. He laid them down on the coasters and Bucky looked down at the mugs.

“Holy shit. You added way too much whipped cream.” 

“There's no such thing as too much whipped cream.” 

“That's fair.” Clint pulled the can of cream out of his pocket and sprayed some in his mouth. Bucky grabbed it from him and placed it on the table.

“You're a monster.”

“Just shut up and put the movie in.” 

As Bucky was putting the movie and turning the volume up, Clint’s phone rang. He answered it as he popped and chip in his mouth. He mumbled a hello as he chewed but stopped and swallowed hard.

“Ok. Bye.” He hung up and slid his phone into his pockets.

“Who was that?”

“Nobody...I gotta go.” Bucky frowned and watched and Clint went to the front door and slid his sneakers on. 

“Go where? Did Bruce just give you a booty call?”

“Uh...yeah! Yeah he did. So I've got to go. Go get my dick sucked.” Bucky grimaced and threw a chip at him.

“Gross. Get out of here.”

He pressed play on the movie and stretched out across the sofa with the bowl of chips on his stomach. He only watched about 25 minutes of the movie before he heard a sharp knock on the door. Bucky groaned loudly and placed the bowl on the coffee table. There was another knock and he jogged over to the front door and pulled it open. Steve and David stood in front of him, anxious looks on their faces and he frowned.

“Uh...what the hell is going on?”

“We need to talk. All of us.” David said.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You're pregnant?! And you told my boyfriend before me?!” Bucky's face was red and he had a panicked look on his face.

“I had to. He wouldn't let me get in contact with you any other way.” Steve looked down, embarrassed.

“How far along are?” David unzipped his jacket to reveal a baby bump about the size of a grapefruit. 

“I'm pretty small but the doctor says the baby is perfectly healthy. _She's_ perfectly healthy.” As Bucky's face slowly regained its color, he smiled softly.

“It's a girl?” David nodded, a grin on his face.

“Yeah. And I already picked the perfect name Isabella Louise.” Steve smiled.

“That's a beautiful name.” 

“Are you sure I'm the father?” David shook his head.

“No. But if we do a paternity test right after she's born, we'll know for sure. If she isn't, you can walk away. If she is, well I hope for her sake you'll be involved in her life.” Bucky nodded and looked down at his hands. Steve put a hand in his knee and squeezed, reassuringly.

“When's your next appointment? I want to go with.”  
\-------------------------------------------------------------

Steve pulled his pants up and looked at himself in the mirror. His Halloween costume was not his most creative but he still thought he'd done well. He'd stuck to the artist theme like he did every year, that was for sure.

“Steve! Where's my cape?” Sam called from the other room. 

“I don't know! Check the living room!” 

He picked up his blue jacket and slipped it on before exiting his bedroom. His shoes were still in the living room, drying from the polish he'd given them. As he pulled them on his socked feet, Sam exited his bedroom with a twirl of his cape. 

His white face cast still covered half his face and with the three piece suit and black cape, his Phantom of The Opera costume had come together perfectly. He twirled once more before grinning ear to ear. Steve rolled his eyes and stood up. 

“Just don't hang out in the basement, ok?” Sam looked Steve over before cocking his head.

“Van Gogh?” Steve nodded and ran a hand through his red hair. He'd used temporary, wash out dye to color it. A cheap wig wouldn't do Van Gogh justice. 

“Yup. Let's go get Clint and Bucky. I bet they're dressed like idiots.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Told you.” Steve said softly when Clint opened the door. He frowned at Steve’s bitchy muttering and stepped aside for them to enter.

“What are you supposed to be? A cowboy?” Sam asked the blonde. He brushed off his shirt and grinned. 

“Ennis Del Mar. From Brokeback Mountain. Bruce is going as Jack Twist. Minus the death part. We get a happy ending.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Everyone I know is a romantic fool.” 

“Not me.” Bucky rounded the corner and Sam, Clint, and Steve gasped.

“Oh my God! What the actual fuck?” Clint cried out.

“It looks so...realistic.”

Bucky was dressed as a zombie, his stump done up to look bloodied and raw. He grinned at their disgust and adjusted his torn black shirt. Steve stepped forward and looked closer at his arm.

“How'd you do this on your own? It's impressive.”

“It took me fucking forever, that's how long. But it was worth to see the looks on your faces right now.”

There was a soft knock on the door and Bruce entered, looking uncomfortable in his costume. His face quickly changed from uncomfortable to horrified once he spotted Bucky. Bucky cackled at the sight of his shocked face and Clint sighed.

“You're evil. Pure evil.” Steve said, walking back out of the apartment.

“ _Baby come back! You can blame it all on me!_ ” Bucky sang as he followed Steve out of the apartment.

“Let's go get drunk!” Clint shouted as he followed them out. 

“I'm already halfway there!” Bucky called back

“This is going to be a long night.” Sam muttered. 

“You're telling me.” Bruce muttered back.


	12. November

_**November**_  
\--------------------  
To say Bucky was surprised when he came home from a night out and saw a young woman in his kitchen talking to Clint, well…that was an understatement. The woman brightened at the sight of him and stood from her seat. Clint looked over his shoulder before standing his seat as well.   
“I'll let you talk.” He passed Bucky who gave his roommate a confused look.  
“Hey James.” He looked back at the girl and raised an eyebrow.  
“Am I being audited or something?” She laughed and shook her head. Her long brown hair shook slightly and she brushed it away from her face.  
“It's me...Becky.” His jaw dropped and he stepped towards his sister who held her arms open.   
He rushed to her and gave her a long, tight hug. He pulled away and looked her over. Now that he was up close, he could see that she was definitely the baby sister he hadn't seen in 13 years. Her face had thinned out and she had long, thick, black eyelashes that framed her big blue eyes.   
“I can't believe this. How'd you find me?”  
“I looked you up. Mom and dad don't control me anymore. I'm 19.”   
“Jesus. I can't believe you're already 19. I can't believe you remember me. You were six when I left.” She frowned and sat back down.  
“They took down all your pictures soon after you left. They never talked about you. But I could vaguely remember you. So I snopped through the boxes in the attic and found the pictures and your birth certificate.” He looked down and sighed.  
“Do you know why I left?” She shook her head.  
“I asked mom and dad but they wouldn't tell me. So I figured I'd just ask you.” He sighed and covered his face.  
“I'm gay. They didn't like that. So I was kicked out.” She gasped and covered her mouth.   
“That's awful. I can't believe daddy did that.”   
“I've moved on. I've got a great family now. And an amazing boyfriend. You're about to be an aunt actually.” She grinned ear-to-ear and squealed in delight.  
“Really?! That's so exciting! Are you guys adopting?” He laughed.  
“No. It's a long story but I'm not having a baby with him. I'm having her with my ex.”   
“Well I'd love to hear it. But I didn't come to just catch up. I'm here about dad.” She sighed deeply and her lip quivered. “He's dying. He's only got a few weeks left.”  
Bucky clenched his jaw and stood from his seat. He turned away from his sister and walked to the fridge to pull out two beers. He cracked them both open and handed one to Becky who looked up at him with wide eyes.  
“I'm 19.”  
“I won't tell if you won't.” She nodded and took the beer from him. He took a gulp of his and sat back down. She took a big drink from hers and wiped her mouth off.  
“I'm sorry, Becky. I know what it feels like to lose your father.” She nodded.  
“Well I thinking that maybe you could-” He held his hand up and stopped her.  
“I see where you're going with this. And no. I won't face that bastard again.”   
“I understand. But if you change your mind, he's at the house.” She took another long gulp from her beer and passed it to her brother. “I left my number with Clint. Text me. I'd love to meet your boyfriend.” She gave him a hug and picked her purse up off the counter and left the apartment.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _Bucky looked down at his shaking hands and breathed in shakily. He looked across the room at his parents who were discussing something he couldn't hear. He stepped further into the room and cleared his throat. As he opened his mouth to speak, he caught sight of the crucifix hanging over the fireplace and averted his eyes.  
“I'm gay.” He whispered softly.   
“What'd you say, sweetie?” His mother asked.   
“There's something I have to tell you.” His mother cocked her head and his father gestured for him to move closer.  
“What is it? You're not failing math again are you?” His father asked.   
“I'm...gay.”   
His parents blinked in surprised before they burst out laughing. He smiled awkwardly as his father wiped a tear from his face and his laughter died.   
“Good one, James.” He frowned and looked between his parents.   
“I'm serious.” His father furrowed his brow and frowned.  
“You aren't gay.” His mother lowered her gaze and took a seat at the table.  
“Yes I am.”  
“Get out.” Bucky felt his heart hit his feet and his lip quivered.   
“George-”  
“Shut up, Winifred! Get out! I don't want a faggot under my roof.”  
Bucky backed away from his father who was being held back by his mother. He ran through the loving room and up to his room. He slammed the door shut and quickly pushed his dresser in front of it. The sound of thumping feet ascended the stairs and he heard banging on his door.  
“You've got 30 minutes!” His father shouted before he heard him walk away.   
His whole body was shaking with fear and adrenaline. Every nerve in his body was telling him to curl up and cry but he knew he needed to pack up as quickly as possible. He pulled his book bag out from under his bed and opened up the dresser drawers. He shoved what he could into the bag before going into his closet to pull out his duffel bag and grab more clothes and his shoes.   
He grabbed his phone and jammed it into his pocket and threw the charger into his duffel. The flip phone buzzed in his pocket but he ignored it and continued packing. There was a thump outside the room and the doorknob wiggled behind the dresser. He pulled his hoodie on and grabbed his wallet off his bedside table. He scanned his room one more time before reaching behind his dresser and pulling out the envelope he'd filled with babysitting and lawn mowing money. He shoved it in his bag and moved the dresser. He opened the door and Becky stood outside his door, her Barbie doll in her hand and a confused look on her face.  
“Where are you going?” He crouched in front of his sister and smiled at her shakily.  
“I've got to go bye bye. But I'll see you again. I promise.” She frowned and he kissed her forehead before hoisting his duffel onto his shoulder and running down the stairs.  
As he opened the front door to step out, a hand clamped down on his shoulder. Expecting a hit to the face he got a gentle caress instead and he turned to see his mother. She shoved something into the palm of his hand and squeezed it shut.  
“Be safe, baby. And go as far as this will take you. I love you.”  
“Please stop him.” He whispered.  
“He'll kill me if I try.” She pushed him out the front door and closed it tightly.   
As he walked down the steps and away from the house, he looked down at what his mother had handed him.   
It was her engagement ring. Something he knew cost his father over $8,000. He gasped and looked back up at his childhood home before walking down the street without looking back once._  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Sam sat on Bucky's couch and watched his friend pace back and forth in front of him. He was mumbling as he paced and he was chewing on his fingernails. He stopped in front of Sam and looked down at him.   
“I shouldn't go right? It's a bad idea.”  
“I think you should. It could give you the closure you've been seeking your entire life.” Bucky scoffed and waved him off.  
“What do you know?” Sam shook his head in confusion.  
“I'm your therapist, dude.”   
“Group therapist.” He corrected.  
“Still your therapist.” Bucky groaned and flopped down on the couch next to Sam.  
“He's an asshole. I'm glad he's dying.” Sam wrapped an arm around his shoulder and sighed.  
“No you're not.” Bucky covered his face and his whole body shook as he cried.  
“Why doesn't he love me?” Sam pulled him into his arms and rubbed his back.  
“It's ok. I've got you.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Bucky stepped out of the elevator and saw boxes filling the lobby. A few men were milling about and bringing the boxes outside. Alice was at her desk, eating a bagel, and shaking her head disapprovingly.   
“What's going on, Al?” She sighed and put her bagel down.  
“Natasha is moving out. I keep telling her it's a bad idea but she won't listen.”  
“It's for the best.” Natasha said, walking around a mountain of boxes.  
“Where else in the city are you going to find an affordable apartment that allows pets and kids and doesn't have rats or mold?” Natasha laughed and tightened her ponytail.  
“All I've done is hurt people here.” She said softly, looking over at Bucky. She grabbed and box and turned to walk out the door before Bucky spoke up.   
“I forgive you. You should know that.” She turned back to him and frowned.  
“You shouldn't. I've been nothing but a total bitch to you. And the way I treated Sam. It's unforgivable.” Bucky smiled and shrugged.  
“There are things much worse than being called a whore. I've got bigger drama happening in my life lately. I put that whole incident is behind me. I hope you can too. Because I know the others miss you. No matter what they might say.”  
Natasha put the box down and stepped forward to give him a tight hug. He squeezed her back and she pulled away, wiping tears from her eyes. She looked around the lobby and finally back up at Alice.  
“Can I have my place back?” Alice grinned.  
“Of course.”  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
Steve stood over the stove, watching the timer for the oven. The smell of turkey was wafting through the house and Sam kept poking his head into the kitchen every few minutes to ask if it was done. He had a glass of wine that he had refilled twice in the last hour. He took another sip as he laid marshmallows across the sweet potatoes.   
“Are you going to burn them this time?” He turned to see Bucky leaning against the wall with a grin on his face.  
“I have no clue what you're talking about.” He opened the oven and checked the temperature of the turkey. When it read 175 degrees, he pulled on oven mitts and pulled it out of the oven. He placed it on the counter and covered it quickly. As he put the potatoes in the oven and set the timer, he felt an arm snake around his waist and he smiled.  
“I could taste the burnt marshmallow all over them last time.” Steve scoffed and pushed him away.  
“Leave me alone. I'm an artist not a chef.” Bucky rested his chin on his shoulder and chuckled.   
“I like your cooking. You're just bad with marshmallows.” Steve laughed and rolled his eyes.  
“Screw you.”   
“Gladly.” Steve turned to face him and pushed him against the counter. As he leaned down and kissed him fiercely, his hand went above his head and he pulled down a stack of plates that he shoved into Bucky's arm. Bucky pulled away and looked at the plates confused.  
“Go set the table.”   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“This is the whitest meal I think I've ever had.” Sam said, wiping his mouth. Steve burst out laughing and Clint choked on his food.   
“I liked it.” Bruce said softly, laying his napkin across his plate.  
“Thank you, Bruce.” Steve said, giving Sam a dirty look.  
“Now what? We all go to bed several hours early and sleep off the tryptophan?” Clint asked rubbing his slightly distended belly. Bruce frowned.  
“So you'll all fall into turkey comas and I have to stay up?” Clint wrapped an arm around his boyfriends neck and kissed his temple.  
“You can still go to sleep with me. I'll snuggle you into unconsciousness.”   
As they five men talked, Bucky's phone buzzed. He slid it out of his pocket and noticed that he had 8 text messages from Becky and two missed calls. He excused himself and stepped into the kitchen to call her back.   
“ _James! I didn't think you'd answer! It's daddy! He's dying. The doctor says he probably won't make it through the night. He keeps asking for you._ ” Bucky sighed and looked down at his feet.  
“I'll be there as soon as I can.” He hung up and went back into the dining room where Bruce was talking about some mishap at work.   
Steve looked up at Bucky and he saw the worried look on his face. He stood and the three others broke their attention and focused it on Bucky.   
“You alright?” Clint asked.  
“I need a ride. My dad is dying.”  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
Becky ripped the door open as soon as he knocked and pulled Bucky into the foyer. She headed up the stairs, leaving him standing at the bottom of the stairs. He looked around the foyer and the living room and clenched his jaw. It hadn't changed at all in the last decade.   
“Upstairs!” He hung his coat on the hook by the front door and headed up the stairs.   
A few people were gathered outside of his parents room and he swallowed hard. His mother was standing talking to a doctor. She was clutching a handkerchief in her hand and her face was red. Becky was sitting next to a young girl who was holding her hand and consoling her. His mother looked past the doctor and locked eyes with Bucky.  
“Bucky?” All eyes turned to him and he took a few steps forward.  
“Hi mom.” She rushed over to him and pulled him into her arms. He could feel her small frame shaking like a leaf and he squeezed her back tightly.   
“Oh Bucky! I missed you so much!” She pulled away and looked down at his missing arm. “What happened to your arm?”  
“I lost it in Afghanistan.”  
“You joined the army?” A proud smile spread across her face and he nodded.  
“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.” She sniffled and kissed his cheek.  
“I'm glad you're home. Your father is asking for you.” He stepped past his mother to look at the bedroom door.   
He kissed his mother on the forehead before walking towards the foreboding master bedroom. The doctor held the door open for him and he stepped into the room. A single lamp was lit next to the huge king sized bed.   
A heart monitor was next to the bed beeping softly and Bucky stepped up next to his father in the bed. His once large, menacing father now looked small and frail. All of his hair had fallen out and he looked like he'd aged 30 years. He had a cannula in his nose and he was breathing shallowly.  
“Hey George.” His father turned his head and looked at Bucky for a long moment before smiling.  
“James...you came.” He whispered hoarsely. He coughed and held a hand up to Bucky. He laid his hand in his father's gently and shivered at his cold skin.  
“I came for mom and Becky.” George nodded and lowered his hand.  
“That's fair. I treated you horribly. I don't even deserve this time with you.”   
“You made my life a living hell for too long. I can't believe I even came here. This was a bad idea.” He turned to leave but his father spoke up.   
“Wait! I want to apologize for what I did. I've been staring death in the face for a long time now and I need to make amends.” Bucky was cautious but he turned back to his father.   
“I'm listening.”  
“I shouldn't have kicked you out. You were coming to your mother and I with a personal secret and I acted rashly. I shouldn't have thrown you out. I'm sorry.” Bucky nodded.  
“Thank you. I appreciate your apology.” George coughed loudly and his heart monitor spiked for a second before settling down.  
“I should have gotten you help instead.” Bucky froze and frowned.  
“What?”  
“I should have sent you to one of those special camps. Or had you talk to Father McGinnis.” Bucky scoffed and backed away from his father's bed. George frowned and coughed again. “What's wrong, James?”  
“I should have known you wouldn't change. You're still the same. Well, I'm still gay. I'm in love and I'm about to be a father. And I'm going to treat my daughter better than you ever treated me.”  
“Wait…” His father called out, holding out a hand.  
“Goodbye, George.” He opened the bedroom door and stepped out without looking back.  
A week later Bucky got an email from his sister asking him to come to George Barnes’ funeral. He scanned the email a few times before breathing shakily and moving it to his trash.


	13. December Again

Bucky woke to his phone buzzing. He sat up slowly and grabbed his phone off of his bedside table. He saw that he'd received texts from his mother, Sam, Steve, Becky, and his youngest sister Adelaide. He frowned and opened up the one from his mother first and snorted.

She'd sent him an animated gif of a dancing menorah with the words _Happy Hanukkah_ written above it. Becky had simply sent him a good morning message with the same picture his mother sent him. Steve asked him if he would come over and help him fix his bathroom sink. Sam had sent him a different gif saying _Happy Hanukkah_. Adelaide had just texted him good morning. Bucky laid his phone down and rubbed his eyes before groaning.

“I need coffee.” He mumbled.

“Stop talking to yourself.” Clint said as he walked past Bucky's open bedroom door. He glared at his roommate and put his phone down.

“Screw you.” He whispered as he put his slippers on. 

“Screw you too!” Clint shouted from the kitchen.

“You're deaf! How the hell did you hear that?!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey babe. Happy Hanukkah!” Steve said as soon as he opened his front door. He gave Bucky a quick kiss. 

“You know it's an 8 day holiday right? That I don't really celebrate.” Steve frowned. 

“What do I do with your gifts then?” Bucky put his toolbox down when he entered Steves bathroom.

“You give them to me. I don't hate presents. I'm just not holiday person.”

“I thought you weren't a birthday person?” Bucky sighed loudly. 

“I'm a neither person. I prefer just sitting at home. Holidays suck. And so do birthdays.”

“Well actually…” Bucky held up a hand and Steve snapped his mouth shut. 

“I know. Clint already told me Bruce is turning 49 on Monday. I already have a gift for him and I know that there is going to be another party in my apartment.” Steve smiled and leaned against the door frame.

“Yes but did you know what Clint has planned?” Bucky turned to look at him, confusion etched on his face.

“No. He hasn't told me anything.” Steve mumbled under his breath, clearly surprised.

“He's going to propose.” Bucky's eyes went wide and his jaw dropped.

“Seriously?!”

“He even had a special ring made. It's made out of recycled metal found in the ocean. It's a gorgeous ring. There's bits of hematite in it and he had “ _You make my dreams come true_ ” etched on the inside.” Bucky chuckled.

“Isn't that a Hall and Oates song?” Steve nodded and Bucky rolled his eyes.

“His birthday is going to be a nightmare.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

December 18th finally rolled around and Bucky woke up with a rock in his stomach. He could hear Clint rolling the vacuum over the living room floor in preparation of the party that would be in full swing there in just a few hours. He sat up and picked up his phone to check the time. He saw it was shortly after 11 in the morning and he stood from his bed.

When he entered the living room, his eyes widened at the sight of Clint on his hands and knees waxing the rosewood floors. Clint looked up at him and sat back on his legs. He had sweat across his brow and the floor wax covered his knees. He smiled and laid his rag down.

“Morning.” His voice sounded a bit warbled and Bucky knew that his aids weren't in. 

“ _Good morning._ ” He signed to him. His ASL was bad, considering he was only working with one hand, but he knew enough to greet his friend. And Clint understood most of what he signed to him. He'd been the one to help him come up with the one handed signs.

“Can you grab my aids off of my table?” He said a bit too loudly. Bucky chuckled and Clint frowned. “I'm being loud.” Bucky nodded and headed down the hallway to grab his friends hearing aids.

After Clint wiped his hands off, he put his hearing aids in with shaky hands. The entire living room was devoid of any sign of dust or clutter and Bucky knew he'd been up for a few hours already. He stood from his freshly waxed floors and walked across the part of the floor that he hadn't waxed yet.

“I think you might be nervous.” Clint laughed shakily and nodded.

“I'm terrified. I've been cleaning since seven.”

“Shit. You almost never wake up before noon.” He smiled and looked down at the floor.

“It's a big day for both of us. For a lot of reasons.” Bucky clapped his hand onto Clint shoulder and smiled at him. 

“I know, buddy. But you'll be fine. And he's going to say yes. Trust me.”

“I hope you're right.”

The two men spent the next few hours cleaning, waxing, and preparing food as their friends slowly filled the apartment. Steve arrived after three with a buffet of vegan and vegetarian foods he'd worked on for two days. Eventually everyone else began arriving, some helped set up but most just showed up to start the party as early as they could.

Bruce showed up after six with Tony and Pepper in tow. Clint greeted him with a kiss that Bruce reciprocated with a smile. He moved into the center of the party and started conversing with his friends and coworkers who'd shown up earlier.

Clint moved over to Bucky, Sam, and Steve and twisted his hands nervously and kept running his hands through his hair. Finally Sam steadied him and made him look up at him. 

“You're going to be fine.” He said, firmly and calmly.

“I can't do this. Not in front of everyone.” 

“What? Why not?” Bucky asked, moving closer to him to avoid the prying ears around them.

“He'd kill me. It needs to be private.”

“Just go propose already. He won't care how it's done. Trust me.” Steve gently pushed him towards Bruce who didn't seem to notice. 

He shoved his hand in his pocket and turned to look at Bruce. 

The scientist was lost in conversation with a few people and he seemed oblivious to his boyfriends dilemma across the room. Clint pulled the ring box out of his pocket and fiddled with it. The black velvet had a shine to it from the fairy lights they'd hung all over the room. He ran his thumb over the top of it and took a deep breath.

“Uh Bruce? Can I talk to you for minute?” Bruce turned to him and smiled.

“Yeah.” He excused himself from the conversation and followed Clint across the room. 

Sam, Steve, and Bucky watched from the dining room table where they'd all sat down. Clint pulled Bruce into a quiet corner of the room where nobody could quite hear them. Judging by the way his hands moved, the three men knew Clint was signing to Bruce. Steve watched closely, trying to interpret everything he was saying.

“He's giving a dramatic speech. About love, moving on, and new beginnings.” Steve said without looking away. “He must have worked on this for weeks.”

“ _I love you more than anything on this planet and I want you to know that._ ” Steve translated, as Clint pulled the small velvet box out of his pocket. Sam and Bucky both grinned when they saw the shocked look on Bruce’s face.

“ _Robert Bruce Banner, will you marry me?_ ” Clint asked, opening the box. 

The three of them watched anxiously, a knot forming in all of their stomachs. Everyone else at the party was oblivious to what was happening and Steve was shocked nobody had noticed.

“Yes.” Steve said with a grin as Bruce kissed Clint furiously, his hand snaking around the back of his neck.

“Woohoo!” Sam cheered, throwing his hands up. Bruce looked over at them and blushed when he realized they'd been watching the whole time. Clint held his hand and slipped the ring onto his finger.

“What's going on?” Tony asked, walking over to the table.

“Uhhhhhhh…..” The three men stammered and stared up at Tony. Eventually he rolled his eyes and walked away.

“Weirdos!” He called over his shoulder.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky was nervous. He rarely got nervous like this. He'd fought day long battles before, rushed into burning buildings, saved hundreds of lives, helped defuse bombs.

But he'd never introduced someone to his mom before. 

His mother had insisted he bring Steve to dinner on the eighth day of Hanukkah. She gushed about how excited she was to finally have her son back in her life and she wanted him to know that his friends and loved ones were included. He'd yet to tell her she was going to be a grandmother. 

So when Bucky stood in front of Steve while he adjusted his tie, he felt the knot in his stomach twist. His boyfriend noticed his terrified expression and ducked his chin up. Bucky’s blue eyes met Steve’s and he smiled softly.

“Calm down. You'll be fine. Your mom is excited for this. Clearly she's ok with you being gay.” He nodded and looked down at his shoes.

“I know. I'm just afraid of all the questions they'll be asking.” Steve leaned in to place a soft kiss on Bucky's forehead.

“I'll be there to deflect any questions you don't want to answer. Just say the word.” He took Bucky's hand and grinned.

“Let's go.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His mother had prepared a huge meal. She'd made foods he'd never seen her make before in his life. George had always been strict about her Jewish traditions not being performed in “his” house. But now she seemed to have made every possible dish she could think of. Foods that normally weren't even served during dinner. 

She'd set up a small buffet at their long dining room table and set the place settings down on the kitchen table she'd moved into the living room. Becky was playing Monopoly with Adelaide on the floor of the living room and his mother was rushing different types of food out of the kitchen and into the dining room.

“Lady, go help mom.” Bucky said when he stepped into the living room. Adelaide laughed and stood up. 

“Cooking isn't just a woman's job, you know.” Lady said with a cocky smile.

“I know that. But I won't exactly be much help.” He said wiggling his stump at her. She rolled her eyes and trudged into the kitchen.

Becky stood up and crossed the room to hug her older brother. She looked towards the foyer and frowned when she saw nobody there. 

“Where's your mystery man?” He rolled his eyes and threw his arm around her shoulder.

“He's parking the car.” She grinned and rubbed her hands together.

“I can't wait to meet him. I bet he's gorgeous.” Bucky smiled and his cheeks flushed.

“He is.” 

They both heard the click of the front door knob turning and she squealed. He rolled his eyes again and went to grab Steve. They hung up their coats by the door before walking into the living room. Steve smiled brightly at her and offered a hand.

“Nice to finally meet you, Becky. I'm Steve Rogers.” She shook his hand and looked him over.

“I knew it!” He gave Bucky a confused look but his boyfriend just shook his head.

Lady and Winnie came out of the kitchen holding two pies each. Winnie put them down on the dining room table before crossing into the living room to give her son a hug and a kiss. She wiped her lipstick off his cheek before looking at Steve.

“You must be Steve. It's so nice to meet you, honey.” She gave him a hug and he gave the small woman a kiss on the cheek.

“It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. Barnes.” She waved him off.

“Call me Winnie.” 

“I'm Lady.” Adelaide piped up from behind her mother. 

“I know. You're the 11 year old whiz kid. I heard you love art.” She nodded and pointed to a large painting on the wall behind him. 

“That's mine. I did it two years ago.” 

His shock was clear on his face. The painting was a stunning portrait of a mountainside. He'd seen his 16 year old students do work that didn't come close to this. The detail was excruciatingly delicate and her shading was better than his own.

“I think I've got some competition on the New York art scene.” She grinned at him and looked at her brother.

“I like him.” A surprised laugh burst out of his mouth and Lady grinned even bigger.

“Well let's all grab a plate and get some food!” 

Bucky grabbed a plate and approached the small buffet. His mouth watered at the sight of the potato _latkes_ he hadn't had since he was a young child. He piled a few on his plate before grabbing a few non-traditional Jewish foods his mother had prepared. 

“What's that?” Steve asked, pointing to the casserole dish next to the beef brisket.

“ _Rugelach_.” 

“Uhh…” Steve said, looking at Bucky confused.

“It's a dessert. Just grab something and sit down.” 

Steve put the same food on his plate that Bucky had grabbed and sat down at the table. Lady had already started scarfing her food down hungrily, much to her mother's vexation. Steve picked the seat between Winnie and Bucky and looked down at his plate. He dug his fork into the cheese covered _latke_ and grimaced a bit before putting it in his mouth.

Steve tried not to judge people's cooking. And he could tell everyone else at the table was enjoying the _latkes_. But the overwhelming taste of cheese made his stomach turn. He almost gagged but grabbed his water glass instead and washed it down.

Becky glanced across the table at him and smiled. She leaned across and pulled the _latke_ off of his plate. Her mother gaped at her in shock.

“Rebecca! That was very rude!” She rolled her eyes and swallowed her food.

“He almost gagged when he bit into it. I'm not gonna watch him eat something he hates just to not upset you.” She looked at Steve who was blushing.

“I'm sorry, Mrs. Barnes. I just don't really like that much cheese on my food.” She chortled and patted his shoulder.

“It's alright. We love cheese and fried food. It's not for the faint of heart. I understand.” 

“Why'd you light the menorah before we got here?” Bucky asked around a mouthful of brisket.

“Well Becky said you don't celebrate the religious aspect of Hanukkah.” She said looking at her eldest daughter. 

“He said he wasn't religious.” 

“I just…” He paused and looked at his plate of food, tears welling up in his eyes. “Any type of religion has been hard for me. After being kicked out and then all the shit I saw overseas. I couldn't really believe that anything was out there for us.” His mother wrapped an arm around her son's shoulder and kissed his temple. 

“Judaism isn't about God. It's about being kind, good, and overcoming whatever the world throws at us. It's safety in knowing each person makes a difference.” Steve smiled at her description of Judaism and placed his hand on Bucky’s knee. 

“You don't need to be religious to have faith.” He said softly, earning an appreciative smile from his boyfriend. 

“I suppose I need to have a little faith in the world. What will my kids think of me if I'm always negative?” His mother laughed and shook her head.

“No need to be thinking about children yet. You're still young.” Bucky looked at Steve who was chewing on his cheek and focusing on his food. Becky smiled at him and raised an eyebrow.

“I don't know, mom. I'm about the right age for kids.” She lifted her fork to her mouth and looked at him confused.

“You're not thinking of having kids, are you? Becky said you've only been dating for five months.” She seemed worried but Bucky laughed and shook his head.

“Steve and I aren't having kids. Yet.” Steve smiled at that and his cheeks flushed. “But I am going to be a dad in March.” 

Lady and Winnie both looked at him for a long moment before Becky clapped excitedly. Her mother looked at her but she just crossed around the table to hug her brother. 

“I'm so excited! I already made her a baby blanket.” 

“How do you know it's a girl?” Steve asked. She grinned at him. 

“Bucky told me.”

“Wait! She knew?” Winnie asked Bucky, still shocked from his announcement.

“I told her last month. But I wanted to wait to surprise you.” She clapped a hand over her mouth and tears welled up in her eyes.

“I'm gonna be a grandma!” She hugged her son tightly and kissed his face repeatedly.

“When is she due?” His face lit up at that.

“March 20th. Ten days after mine.”

“I'm going to be a grandma!” She said again, excitedly.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------

Steve was alone again on Christmas Eve but this time he knew Bucky would be coming over that night. Sam had already headed off to D.C and the rest of their friends were busy with their own festivities. Clint and Bruce had headed to London for Christmas. Tony and Pepper were spending a private Christmas with Mali. He wasn't sure what the others were doing but he didn't care.

Dinner was nothing fancy, just some Chinese food. And the plan afterwards was to give Bucky his last present. The one he didn't already know about.

“Babe! I've got something for you!” Bucky called out, walking into the Rogers-Wilson apartment. He had a bag and a few boxes in his hand and undsr his arm.

“Presents go under the tree!” Steve called from his bedroom. 

“I don't think I'll fit.” He answered as  
Steve came down the hallway, towel around his neck and boxer briefs on. 

Bucky stepped towards him and pulled him to his chest and gave him a hungry kiss. Steve growled and wrapped an arm around his waist. They stood there, embracing each other and kissing before Bucky pulled away to pick up one of the gifts.

“Open it!” 

“I have a better idea.” Steve said, his voice low and sultry. Bucky raised an eyebrow but Steve just picked him up and carried him to his bedroom. 

Bucky laughed at the sheer ridiculous notion of being picked up and wriggled to free himself. His escape plan was pointless though because Steve just gripped him tighter. He entered the bedroom and dropped his boyfriend in the mattress. 

“I've never seen you like this before.” Bucky said, surprised at his new attitude.

“I'm alone with the man I love on Christmas. We have this place to ourselves for two weeks. Let's enjoy it while we can.” He lowered his mouth the Bucky’s neck and sucked at the skin there, ignoring the fact that his face had gone red and his jaw dropped. 

“Wait.” He said, pushing Steve away. He looked down at him confused and stood up. 

“What's wrong?” 

“You _love_ me?” Steve suddenly realized what he said and covered his face embarrassed.

“Oh no. No no no no no no no!” He groaned, falling to the ground at the foot of his bed. Steve covered his face with his hands and groaned again, more muffled. 

Bucky joined him on the floor and pulled his hand away from his face. He leaned down to place a soft kiss on his forehead and smiled at him. 

“I get it. I'm irresistible.”

Steve smiled and leaned up so Bucky could kiss him again.

“I have something for you.” 

“Is it you? Because that's kind of what I want right now.” Bucky said, standing up. 

“One sec.” 

Steve ran out of the room and grabbed the box from under the tree. He ran his fingers across the paper before rushing back into his bedroom. In the 30 seconds since he'd left, Bucky had already removed his shirt and pants. He was looking at his phone and barely acknowledged Steve's return. 

He climbed into his bed and sat down next to his boyfriend, his body shaking with excitement.  
He placed the box in his lap and sat back, crossing his legs underneath himself. 

“I hope you didn't spend a lot.” 

He gingerly pulled the lid off the expertly wrapped box and pulled the tissue paper out. 

Nestled in the box was a portrait Steve had sketched of Bucky, a few weeks before. The moment he realized he loved Bucky.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_It wasn't an especially romantic moment. They'd just been sitting on Bucky’s couch watching a show Steve didn't remember the name of._

_“This is so stupid. They say it's an hour long episode but there's 17 minutes of commercials! It's bullshit!” Bucky complained as a car commercial played on the screen._

_Steve felt his heart flutter and he realized he'd fallen in love. He wasn't sure when but he knew that he was. He gingerly reached out and grabbed Bucky’s hand._

_”It's just capitalism. Just ignore them.” Bucky nodded and muted the commercial._

_Steve had reached for his sketch pad on the coffee table a minute later and began drawing. Bucky hadn't paid much attention to him but he made sure not to move too much. He was the perfect model._  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“When did you do this?” He asked softly, admiring the drawing. 

“A few weeks ago when you were complaining about commercials.” Bucky laughed and looked up at Steve who was chewing on his lip and watching him nervously. 

“I remember posing. I tried not to move until you put the pad back down.” He said with a grin, leaning in to kiss Steve. 

He reciprocated quickly, eager to be kissed by the man he loved. Kissing him felt different now that they had professed their love for one another. It felt powerful and passionate. He hadn't been in love like this since Peggy. 

“I love it.” Bucky declared when they'd separated. He paused before pulling Steve onto his lap. “I love you.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do.” He kissed him hungrily before reaching out to pull at the waistband of his boxers. “Now take these off.”  
\----------------------------------------------------------------

_**Christmas Morning** _

Bucky knocked softly on the door to Alice's apartment, the envelope in his hand heavy. He heard a loud groan from somewhere in her apartment and he chuckled. There was a thump and she pulled the door open, a bottle of beer in her hand.

“Hey baby.” She said with a smile. He frowned at her drink and she rolled her eyes. “It's after noon.” 

“I have something for you.” He held the envelope out to her and she put her bottle down on the table by her front door.

“What is it? Plane tickets to Cabo? A cruise trip to the Caribbean?” He laughed and leaned against the door frame.

“You're not that lucky.” 

She tore the envelope open and pulled out the papers he'd put inside. She scanned the page for a moment before she covered her mouth in shock. Tears filled her eyes and threatened to pour over.

“Bucky…” She said, her voice breaking.

“Yes?” He asked playfully.

“You want me to adopt you? But I thought you and your mother…”

“But she didn't save me, Al. You did.” That seemed to send her over the edge and she burst into tears. 

He pulled her into his arms and she shook as she held on to him. He ran a hand down her newly neon pink hair and smiled.

“I love you so much, kid. I wouldn't be standing in front of you if you never entered my life. If anybody was saved, it was me. In more ways than one.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Bucky woke up to the sound of the fire alarm wailing. People were shuffling outside of his apartment and he stood sleepily. He slipped his sneakers on before walking out his bedroom and out of the apartment._

_”What's going on?” He asked his neighbor with a yawn. She shrugged and squeezed the hand of her young daughter at her side._

_He followed his neighbors down the stairs and out of the building. People were crowded on the sidewalk and a firetruck had pulled up, the crew working through the crowd to get inside. He looked at the large crowd and suddenly realized he didn't see Alice's bright blue hair anywhere._

_”Alice?” He called out. Nobody acknowledged him and he stood on his tiptoes to scan the crowd better. When he realized Alice wasn't outside, he ran towards the revolving door in a panic._

_”Hey! Get back here kid!” One of the firefighters called out, trying to stop him._

_Bucky ignored the people calling out, trying to stop him, and rushed into the building. He skidded to a stop in the lobby and turned to the door leading to her basement apartment and ran to it. He ripped the door open and was assaulted by a wall of smoke._

_”Alice!” He screamed, running down tbd stairs. He could hear the crackle of fire and he ran to her door. As he grabbed the doorknob, his skin blistered and he hissed in pain. Realizing opening the door wasn't an option, he took a step back and lifted his foot up to kick the door open._

_It ripped off of its hinges and slammed to the ground. He ran into her living room and noticed where the fire was. Her entertainment system was in flames and he covered his mouth when the smell of burning plastic assaulted him._

_Bucky ran past the flames into Alice's open bedroom. The mattress was on fire and he saw her laying in the center of her bed, unmoving. He ran forward quickly picked her up off of the mattress, ignoring the flames that licked at his arms._

_”Come on, Al! You're ok!” He spoke to her as he carried her out of the apartment and up the stairs._

_A firefighter and two EMTs were standing in the lobby, waiting for orders when Bucky emerged from the basement. One of the EMTs noticed him immediately and rushed over. His partner fell to her knees and motioned for Bucky to lay her down._

_She used her stethoscope to listen for a heartbeat while her partner prepared oxygen for her. They strapped the mask to her face and the firefighter grabbed their gurney by the front desk._

_”We need to get her to a hospital. Now.” The EMT declared, wrapping her stethoscope around her neck._

_With the firefighters help, they got Alice onto the gurney and headed out the door. Bucky followed closely behind them, ignoring the way his arms and lungs burned. The three responders lifted her into the ambulance when Bucky climbed into the back._

_”Sit here so I can check you out.”_

_Bucky sat still and let himself be treated, not once taking his eyes off of Alice._  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I was always high back then. I used smack more than oxygen. If it wasn't for that fire, I'd probably still be shooting up.” She said, fingering the burns on her arm.

“So will you sign?” She looked up at him with a huge grin and nodded.

“Absolutely.”  
\----------------------------------------------------------------

Steve was tired. He'd just spent the last 4 hours slaving away over homework assignments. His students were out for break already but he had dozens of final papers to grade and he could feel his brain melting. He pushed away the papers in front of him and sighed.

Tony was having his annual New Years party again, this time more low-key. He had approved alcohol for the party under the agreement that Pepper stay with him all night. All of their friends were excited. Especially Clint and Bruce since they still had not told anyone they were engaged.

“How do I look?” Sam asked, walking out of his bedroom in a silver suit. His shoes were black and he was rocking a technicolor pocket square.

“Holy moly!” Steve exclaimed. 

“Is that good or bad?” He looked him over with a shocked look on his face.

“You tell me.” Sam smiled and straightened his silver tie.

“Just go get ready.” 

Steve dressed quickly in the cobalt suit Bucky had gotten him for Christmas and slipped his burgundy loafers on. He liked the suit. And it went well with his new light brown hair and growing beard. He brushed his shaggy hair back and admired his suit.

“Ok let's go get my boy.” Steve called out, exiting his bedroom with a sigh.

Bucky answered the door in black suit with a black, alligator print tie. He looked dashing with his hair pulled back in a bun, his face uncovered with his long hair.

“Hey sexy.” Steve said, leaning in to kiss Bucky. 

“Let's roll! I call shotgun!” He said, grabbing his keys and closing his front door behind him. Sam smiled and bumped his shoulder against Steve's.

“At least he's getting over his fear of driving.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The party was in full swing when they arrived. Pepper had her arm through Tony’s and seemed intent on not letting go. Clint and Bruce were talking to Thor and Jane who looked sun kissed. Natasha was walking around with Mali on her shoulders and she greeted Bucky with a huge hug.

“Bucky! I haven't seen you in a while. You look great!” She held him at arm's length and admired his suit. 

“Pretty!” Mali giggled, pointing at Sam's suit. Nat pulled her off of her shoulders and coaxed the toddler towards Sam.

“Go look at it up close.” Sam picked her up and she closely admired the way his suit shone like metal.

“Sam pretty!” Mali declared, squeezing his neck in a tight hug.

“Yes he is.” Nat said softly, admiring his suit. He smiled softly at her and put Mali down.

“Mali! You want the toy I brought you?” Steve asked, drawing the toddler away from Sam and Natasha. 

The toddler nodded furiously and ran over to him. He pulled a small wooden doll out of his pocket and handed it to her. She giggled at it and began playing with it immediately. 

“Nice save.” Bucky whispered as they made over to the their friends.

“Toddlers are very easy to distract.” He said with a chuckle.

Once her family was in sight, Mali started squirming. Steve put her down and she ran over to her mother, showing off her new doll. Pepper smiled at Steve before admiring the doll.

“Uncle Bruce! Lookit!” She cried out, abandoning her mother to pull on her “uncle's” pant leg.

“That's amazing! Where'd you get it?” He asked, crouching in front of her.

“You're a lifesaver!” Pepper exclaimed, walking over to give Steve a hug.

“I knew you'd need some way to distract before she headed to bed.” 

“We're actually letting her stay up for the “Stark” fireworks.” She put air quotes around Stark and Steve laughed.

“Silent fireworks?” He asked. 

“Silent fireworks.” 

“Well it's only an hour until. You think she'll stay up that long?” Bucky asked. She shrugged and sipped at her water.

“Either way, Tony said he'd put her down.” She smiled and walked over to grab her daughter who was hanging all over Bruce.

The two men abandoned the rest of their group and slowly made their way over to the edge of the roof. The city below them was active and vibrant, filled with millions of people celebrating a new year. Bucky slipped his hand into Steve's and sighed.

“Can you believe it's been a year already?” He asked softly, leaning against his frame.

“Almost exactly a year since we kissed for the first time.” He replied, laying his cheek on Bucky’s head.

The two of them stood there a long time, a comfortable silence between them. They ignored the party behind them and decided instead to find empty chairs and look over the skyline together 

“You told me when you realized you loved me. But I never told you.” Bucky said after a long stretch of silence. Steve looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. 

“When?”

“Your birthday. When we were watching _Gone With the Wind_ and you were mouthing along. I knew then and there that you were the man for me.” 

“Wow.” Steve said softly, awed.

“60 seconds to midnight!” Someone called out from across the roof.

“Well, wanna go celebrate our first kiss and the start of a new year?” Bucky asked, standing from his chair and offering his hand to Steve.

They joined the rest of their friends and stood hand in hand as the countdown began. People began moving towards each other, holding on tightly and the clock ticked, moving closer to the first day of the year.

_10_

Bucky squeezed his boyfriend's hand.

_9_

Steve looked at him with a smile.

_8_

Bucky wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him close.

_7_

Steve wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

_6_

They moved closer until their chests were touching.

_5_

They touched their foreheads together so their noses were brushing each other. 

_4_

“I love you, James Barnes.”

_3_

“I love you too, Steve Rogers.”

_2_

_1_

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” The crowd cried out. 

The two men tuned out the noise as their lips met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aghhhhh! Only the epilogue left! I'm so sad!


	14. Epilogue: March

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. Isabella's birth

_**Epilogue: March 26th**_ \-------------------------------

When the 20th came and went, Bucky began to get nervous. The baby could come at any time and David refused to go in to be induced. He made sure to text him every day just to be safe. 

“Are you texting David _again_?” Steve asked, putting his cards down.

Clint, Bruce, and Steve were playing poker at the dining room table and had been for hours. They'd been betting different types of candy and Bucky had opted out. There was no point in gambling if there was no money involved.

“She's almost a week late. I'm worried, ok?”

“What are you going to do if she's not your daughter?” Bruce asked, looking up from the game.

Bucky shrugged and pocketed his phone. He crossed the room to sit down and tapped his fingers on the table. Steve reached out turned brush his hair out of his eyes and smiled at him. 

“He'll figure it out.” Bucky felt his phone buzz and answered it quickly when he saw it was David.

“Is it time?” David laughed.

“ _I’m just letting you know that I'm in labor. And I'm headed to the hospital._ ” Bucky shot up from his seat, drawing the attention of the other three.

“I'll be right there.” 

“ _I'm not having the baby right this second. It's going to be a while. _” Bucky rolled his eyes and rushed over to the front door to slip his sneakers on.__

__Steve got up from the table to rush to Bucky’s bedroom and grab the bag he'd packed a few weeks before. He also grabbed his wallet and phone charger out of his bedside drawer._ _

__“I'm still coming. Steve and I will pick you up.” He heard David sigh loudly._ _

__“ _Alright. I'll see you soon. _” He hung up and Bucky took the bag from Steve.___ _

____“Grab our jackets.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ _ _ _

____David was brought into his maternity suite and Bucky was following him close behind. When they made it into the room, the nurses set to work getting him comfortable and into a hospital gown. The room was large and open and he was surprised his insurance allowed him this much._ _ _ _

____“Are you the father?” One of the nurses asked breaking his attention away from surveying the room._ _ _ _

____“Yes.” She smiled and led him over to the recliner next to the bed._ _ _ _

____“Dr. Horowitz will be in here in just a little while. He's been paged.” David nodded and picked his phone up._ _ _ _

____“God this is going to be boring.” David said, texting someone._ _ _ _

____“You do realize you're about to push a human out you today right?” David chuckled and put his phone down._ _ _ _

____“I've done it before.” That caught Bucky’s attention and he looked at him with a deer in headlights look._ _ _ _

____“You have?!”_ _ _ _

____“No. I'm fucking with you.” Bucky sighed heavily and David rolled his eyes._ _ _ _

____“My mom's are flying in soon. So you're probably going to be evicted from that chair.”_ _ _ _

____“Over my dead body.”_ _ _ _

____David laughed and quickly twisted his face up when a contraction ripped through his abdomen. Bucky moved forward and grabbed his hand. After what seemed like forever, David released his hand and took a deep breath._ _ _ _

____“I'm not getting an epidural.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ _ _ _

____Bucky passed out sometime after the doctor left the room. He'd informed them that David was only three centimeters dilated and it would be a while before Isabella would make her appearance. So he settled down in the chair while David watched TV._ _ _ _

____He was woken up though when he heard a woman through the door. He rubbed his eyes and sat up in his seat. David was snoring softly in the bed and he walked over to pull the curtain aside._ _ _ _

____Three women in flowing, tie dyed dresses and beaded necklaces stood outside the room talking to a nurse. She was explaining something to them and Bucky pulled the door open. The women looked at him and the tallest of the three smiled at him._ _ _ _

____“Hello James. It's nice to finally meet you.” He noticed the striking similarities between her and David and he realized she was one of his mom's._ _ _ _

____“It's nice to meet you too. I'm sorry I never got the chance to back in May.” She waved him off._ _ _ _

____“This is my wife Marla,” She said gesturing to the petite blonde on her left.”And my other wife Rain.” She gestured to the dark skinned woman with a huge blue afro. “I'm Imelda.” He waved at the other two women and moved aside for them to enter the room._ _ _ _

____David had woken at the sound of them talking and smiled when Imelda came into sight. He sat up and opened his arms for her to give him a hug. Rain and Marla came in and joined the hug with huge smiles on their faces. Rain showered his face with kisses, leaving behind purple lips marks._ _ _ _

____“How far along are you?” Marla asked, taking the recliner Bucky had been sitting in._ _ _ _

____“Last time the doctor checked, he said I'm at seven centimeters.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh she's going to be here soon.” Imelda said with a grin._ _ _ _

____“Don't look so giddy.” He said, groaning at the pain from another contraction. Marla squeezed his hand and smiled at him._ _ _ _

____“It was the same when I had you. You just couldn't wait to greet the world.” He hissed in pain and Bucky wiped the sweat off of his forehead._ _ _ _

____“Well she's taking her sweet time.”_ _ _ _

____There was a soft knock on the door and they looked up to see Horowitz enter again. He smiled and stood by the counter to pull on a pair of gloves. David sat up and looked at Horowitz with a raised eyebrow._ _ _ _

____“You here to check my junk again?” He laughed and nodded._ _ _ _

____“Yes I am. Gotta make sure everything is running smoothly.” A nurse followed Horowitz and pulled on her own gloves._ _ _ _

____They put his feet in the stirrups and pulled the blanket off of his legs. The nurse frowned at his prosthetic leg and gave the doctor a worried look. The doctor checked to see how dilated he was and his eyebrows shot up._ _ _ _

____“Wow. She's going to be here very soon. You're 9 centimeters.” He pulled his gloves off and tossed them in the trash. “How far apart are your contractions.”_ _ _ _

____David tried to answer him but another contraction hit him and he squeezed his mother's hand. He groaned and waited for the contraction to pass._ _ _ _

____“About a minute.” He finally answered, breathless._ _ _ _

____“Um Ms. Rivera?” The nurse questioned._ _ _ _

____“Mr. Rivera.” Bucky corrected._ _ _ _

____“Sorry. Mr. Rivera, we need to take your leg off. It'sa safety precaution.” He nodded and lifted the bed up to grab his leg._ _ _ _

____After messing with it for a few minutes, his leg detached and he handed it to Bucky. The nurse pulled the sock covering his stump up and pulled the blanket back down. She patted his hand and took the leg from Bucky. They watched her lock it up in one of the cabinets._ _ _ _

____“Do you want any pain medications? Or do you want to push naturally?” Horowitz asked._ _ _ _

____“No epidural.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ _ _ _

____“WHY DID YOU LET ME TURN DOWN THE EPIDURAL?!” David screamed at his mother._ _ _ _

____Marla stood on one side of him and Bucky stood on the other, letting him squeeze their hands. Rain was trying to keep him calm, using her experience as a doula. He groaned and his head fell back, sweat covering his entire body._ _ _ _

____Imelda wiped his face off with a washcloth and smoothed his hair back. Bucky let him grip his upper arm and grab on tight. His breathing was erratic and Rain tried her best to get him to focus on Lamaze._ _ _ _

____“Just a few more pushes.” Horowitz called out over David's screaming._ _ _ _

____“You've got this.” Bucky reassured him. David rolled his eyes in pain and he wiped the sweat off of his upper lip._ _ _ _

____“Good job, David. Deep breaths.” The nurse said to him, rubbing his leg._ _ _ _

____“She's almost here. Just one more big push!”_ _ _ _

____David drew in a deep breath before pushing as hard as he could. The doctor cheered and passed Isabella to one of the nurses who cleared out her mouth and nose. The room was filled with her loud shrieks and David smiled._ _ _ _

____The nurse handed her to David who held her to his bare chest and kissed the top of her head. Bucky laughed excitedly and leaned down to place a soft kiss on her cheek. She gurgled and shifted in his arms._ _ _ _

____“We're dads.” Bucky whispered incredulously._ _ _ _

____“Text Steve.” David whispered._ _ _ _

____“What?”_ _ _ _

____“He's going to be part of her life too. He should meet her.”_ _ _ _

____Bucky pulled his phone out and texted Steve the room number. He got a thumbs up emoji as a response and laughed. He shoved his phone back in his pocket._ _ _ _

____“Do you want to hold her?” David asked, gesturing to her._ _ _ _

____Bucky leaned down and gently lifted her from David's arms. He cradled her close to his chest and ran his metal finger across her cheek. He was still amazed that Tony and Bruce had made such a unique piece of equipment._ _ _ _

____Isabella grabbed the finger that ran across her face and held onto it. He grinned at the tight grip she had and kissed her head again._ _ _ _

____“Hi Isabella.” He whispered to her._ _ _ _

____“Wow.” He turned to see Steve enter the room with a bouquet of flowers._ _ _ _

____He walked over to David and gave him a big hug. David kissed his cheek and smiled at the flowers Steve handed to him._ _ _ _

____“Thank you.” He said, putting the flowers on his bedside table._ _ _ _

____“Congratulations! She's beautiful.”_ _ _ _

____“Go hold her.” Steve looked nervous and chewed on his lip._ _ _ _

____“Are you sure?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes! Go!” He pushed him towards Bucky who held her tight in his arms._ _ _ _

____He passed her gently to Steve who seemed to be in awe of her. He touched the curly hair on her head and chuckled._ _ _ _

____“She's got so much hair. And it's brown.” He looked pointedly at Bucky who rolled his eyes._ _ _ _

____“She's got my brown eyes though.” David said from the bed. Steve walked over and handed Isabella back to David._ _ _ _

____“She's gonna hate when they start stabbing her with needles.” Marla said, leaning down to brush her son's hair out of his eyes.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ _ _ _

____On the 28th, David was packing up to leave. Isabella was wearing a cute green onesie her grandmother's had purchased her. Her little white socks and white shoes weren't her favorite and she kept trying to kick them._ _ _ _

____Her paperwork was sitting on the table next his bed and neither he or Bucky wanted to look. They'd asked for a paternity test but nobody wanted to open it._ _ _ _

____“I'm going to open it.” Bucky declared, after staring at the folder for a long while._ _ _ _

____“Are you sure?” David asked, anxiously._ _ _ _

____Bucky grabbed the folder and scanned the first page. It was David's information and he scanned it before flipping to the next page. It was Isabella’s paperwork and he frowned when he saw her blood type._ _ _ _

____“She's not mine.” He said quietly._ _ _ _

____David grabbed the folder and scanned the page. He was confused and he flipped to the paternity test at the back._ _ _ _

____“How'd you know? You were looking at her bloodwork.”_ _ _ _

____“She's A+. I'm B+ and you're O+. B and O don't make A.” He looked over at Isabella who was fussing and sucking on her pacifier._ _ _ _

____“Bucky. I'm so sorry.”_ _ _ _

____“She's still mine.” David smiled at him and Bucky walked towards Isabella._ _ _ _

____He grabbed her hands and she squeezed them and shook his fingers. He smiled at her and kneeled in front of her to kiss her hands. She cooed and squinted at her father._ _ _ _

____“She's still mine.” He repeated, staring with pride at his newborn daughter._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is over. I really hoped you all enjoyed it! I'm so emotional!

**Author's Note:**

> Also, if you guys even care, this whole story was heavily inspired by Montgomery Ricky which happens to be Ricky Montgomery's album. It's a fantastic album and his music and voice are indescribably beautiful.


End file.
